Venting Is it all for attention?

[iwillgrowwings]

Hi. In short, I don't know what to do.

I've been on the upwards curve towards recovery, mostly due to changing education, and I've had more friends and people who actually like me.

Issue is, I'm still living with my parents. I feel like a greedy sloth, and I'm so prone to thinking about things in a short term manner, that they're sick of it. Worst thing is, where I used to be, there was a support system for people who struggled with depression. Now, I've got nothing but SaSu. I can't talk to my parents about it, and I feel even more guilty about my suicidal thoughts now that I actually have reasons to live. But I genuinely don't see a future for myself.

Not to mention, I'm living in the UK, so all of you should know what kind of hell that is at the moment.

I use blunt force for SH, but it means that my new friends had started noticing my bruises, and I'm just fucked if they think it's my parents. My parents are emotionally abusive at best, so I don't want them to get shit for it. But is it bad that I like that attention? I just don't feel seen. Ever. So, it's a nice change, but again it feels like all my suicidal thoughts are only for attention because of it. Idk. Maybe they are.

I'm in a little bit of a bind at the moment, so if anyone could help me figure out what to do/can relate to me, that'd be appreciated.

 

[itsgone2]

If you can live with parents, while not ideal, at least use that as something positive to help you for now. Some people don't have a fallback like that.
I just see what is posted about UK on social media. It makes me sad because the area always seemed so ideal and now it looks like it's a different place entirely. At least in some areas. And the free speech laws, although sasu been dealing with that for a while