Discussion Is anyone else more reckless the closer you get?

[delusionalgirl]

I'm close. 1 week out. Having to watch a few things to make sure no issues for that to happen. I noticed today I've started getting way more reckless in general. Like I could just careless what happens. I don't know.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Actually, one would think that as one approaches a defined CTB date, that they would be less reckless, so as not to cause some scenario, or physical impediment, that could delay, or even render impossible the person's upcoming CTB. I know I'd be careful as I approached that day. If I did something reckless and were to die, that would be fine, But, what if what I did caused something less than death? Maybe my reckless behavior would just screw me up enough whereby I was unable to carry out my upcoming CTB plans. Worse, yet, maybe I'd screw myself up being reckless to the point that I'd never be able to CTB myself out of this new hell I find myself in.

 

[Deadweight]

I get reckless, especially in cars. I have to verbally tell myself to slow down sometimes. Sometimes the temptation to drive into light poles is overwhelming and I have to white knuckle to keep the steering wheel straight. I'm abstaining from driving as much as possible at the moment. It's not desperation that makes me want to die, it's disgust. Just so fucking utterly disgusted.