Satori Komeiji
Member
- Jul 15, 2025
- 27
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Hii! I'm a 20yo from India (bracing for racist comments).
I have been having thoughts of ending my life for quite some time now. Reason being several, my social life, my parents, and my education. I graduated from high-school in 2023. Since then, have been at home because I am a lazy idiot who cannot study for the life of me, and as a result failed my entrance exams. They are a really big deal here, basically decide your entire life. Everyone had very high expectations for me. So of course, I took a gap year. Failed again. Had lied to everyone of being prepared. Abandoned all of my irl friends out of shame and fear of ridicule (January 2024). Haven't talked to them since. Deleted my WhatsApp too. Decided to take another gap year (last attempt possible) and decided to go to a coaching centre so that I am consistent and also joined a gym to improve myself physically. Had to diet and count calories and macros, but my mom wouldn't cook for me, which is fair, I can cook for myself, so I did, except if was met with contempt ("rotting away in the kitchen like a loser") and a lot of yelling, tired of it, I went to my room to watch some recipes, my dad barged in, allegedly to give me some juice he had prepared, but upon seeing me watch recipes, started yelling at me, I told him to go out several times because I couldn't take the yelling anymore, he didn't, so I pushed him out. This hurt his ego so much that he went to the police to report me for domestic abuse, lying to them saying, "my son beats me", for whatever reason they didn't buy his story so nothing happened to me but this incident broke me and I lost all motivation to improve myself. My gym membership also ran out. This was in October of last year. I've been rotting away in my room since. Also failed my exams again. Last attempt botched. I have no future anymore. No universities to go to. No friends to vent to since I abandoned them all and they've moved much further in life. Nothing to look forward to. Parents who hate me and pretend to care. Nothing to live for.
Anyway, I might've overshared, or maybe not, who knows? This is a platform where we discuss suicide anyway. But this is my introduction. Nice to meet you everyone.
I have been having thoughts of ending my life for quite some time now. Reason being several, my social life, my parents, and my education. I graduated from high-school in 2023. Since then, have been at home because I am a lazy idiot who cannot study for the life of me, and as a result failed my entrance exams. They are a really big deal here, basically decide your entire life. Everyone had very high expectations for me. So of course, I took a gap year. Failed again. Had lied to everyone of being prepared. Abandoned all of my irl friends out of shame and fear of ridicule (January 2024). Haven't talked to them since. Deleted my WhatsApp too. Decided to take another gap year (last attempt possible) and decided to go to a coaching centre so that I am consistent and also joined a gym to improve myself physically. Had to diet and count calories and macros, but my mom wouldn't cook for me, which is fair, I can cook for myself, so I did, except if was met with contempt ("rotting away in the kitchen like a loser") and a lot of yelling, tired of it, I went to my room to watch some recipes, my dad barged in, allegedly to give me some juice he had prepared, but upon seeing me watch recipes, started yelling at me, I told him to go out several times because I couldn't take the yelling anymore, he didn't, so I pushed him out. This hurt his ego so much that he went to the police to report me for domestic abuse, lying to them saying, "my son beats me", for whatever reason they didn't buy his story so nothing happened to me but this incident broke me and I lost all motivation to improve myself. My gym membership also ran out. This was in October of last year. I've been rotting away in my room since. Also failed my exams again. Last attempt botched. I have no future anymore. No universities to go to. No friends to vent to since I abandoned them all and they've moved much further in life. Nothing to look forward to. Parents who hate me and pretend to care. Nothing to live for.
Anyway, I might've overshared, or maybe not, who knows? This is a platform where we discuss suicide anyway. But this is my introduction. Nice to meet you everyone.
EternalShore
Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
- Jun 9, 2023
- 1,417
don't worry~ :) People here are very welcoming and kind to one another~ :) After all, we've experienced very negative events in our own lives~ :( If anyone is ever racist to you, pls make sure to report it, so that the mods can handle it~ :)
Anyways, I'm really sorry to hear about how awful your family treats you and that you also failed your last attempt at your exams~ :( I hope you are still able to get better, as you were trying to do, in spite of these immense setbacks~ >_< if you don't think they'll laugh at you, maybe you can try to get back in contact with your old high school friends~ :) if you haven't stayed in touch, it's possible that one of them failed too, and you can cooperate in regards to what to do now~ :)
Thanks! ^^
I did check up on them a few days before on Instagram and it seems all of them are in top universities either here or abroad.
