Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
(inb4 late introduction)

hi. american in my late teens. i like to read a lot of fiction and i have a really cute cat.
 
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SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
(inb4 late introduction)

hi. american in my late teens. i like to read a lot of fiction and i have a really cute cat.
Do you happen to be a Supervillain too? Cute cats seem to be part of the whole Supervillain repertoire, that and an underground base.
 
purplesmoothie

purplesmoothie

Experienced
Sep 13, 2018
228
Hi guys. Im Lizzie. I feel ugly and want to die because of that. I have swollen tear glands which make me super self conscious and i have been on this site for awhile after two attempts by myself. I had damage from the second attempt of a heroin overdose. I'm not positive I want to die anymore but I still think about it a lot. If I stop feeling ugly I probably won't be suicidal.
 
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Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
Do you happen to be a Supervillain too? Cute cats seem to be part of the whole Supervillain repertoire, that and an underground base.
why yes, i am a supervillain. when you're not paying attention, i snap my supervillain fingers and tangle your headphones using dark magic abilities. its hard work but it's a job that must be done. >:)
 
Adamsnolife

Adamsnolife

Specialist
May 5, 2020
394
Hi there. My name is Adam and from the UK. North Yorkshire to be precise. Just another person who is a burden to this world. Failing many things even relationships. I don't know really. Life is so so complicated. Thankfully I found this place and from what I read, it looks like a place to have a good conversation or message with the same people in the same boat if you get what I mean
 
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D

diyCTB

Mage
Oct 28, 2018
573
Hello,

I have been here since October 2018 and never introduced myself.
  • I am a 36 year old male from Israel
  • Not in employment, not studying (NEET)
  • Diagnosed with depression, have social anxiety and agoraphobia
  • Had one suicide attempt but didn't go through it

I haven't been much active on the forum and in the chat and I kind of regret that because now I see many people that I once knew are no longer with us. I was in recovery but in recent 2 months I started participating in chat. I prefer chat because I English is not my first language, I have problem following content and with reading comprehension. I am slow because I have some kind of information processing issue. Because of that I am also incompetent and can't work. I no longer receive disability benefits because I appear normal to people. They don't see that I have a problem when I do.
 
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SpareWheel

SpareWheel

I go on holidays by mistake
May 4, 2020
354
why yes, i am a supervillain. when you're not paying attention, i snap my supervillain fingers and tangle your headphones using dark magic abilities. its hard work but it's a job that must be done. >:)

Ah, so that was you! You must have been slightly miffed when I invested in Bluetooth cans and earbuds. Soon got your own back though, you just mess up all the endless wires behind my TV now, they're even worse to sort out. Damn you Lord Wiretangle!
 
B

Borabora

Member
May 6, 2020
63
Hello everyone,
First of all, I am very grateful for finding this pro-choice site. Thank you to the founders of this site for creating this forum for like minded people to interact. I also wish to thank the members here for sharing their thoughts. I am new here. I will briefly introduce myself as appropriate.

I am an Asian female and live in Canada. Just briefly, I suppose you can say that I did all the right things in life. I am just at a point in my life where I feel I have lived enough (I am 47 years old). I feel I have done all the things I was born to do. I believe that we are all born to do the things we are supposed to do (what ever that may be. I believe in a Creator). I believe (my own thoughts only), we are born to somehow live our life purpose, learn on earth, love others, etc.) and once we fulfill our life purpose, we go. I am a member of Exit International. They have found that there is now another new reason why people wish to 'ctb.' P.N (the founder of Exit) says he noticed this phenomenon of people who have 'lived enough' and so wish to die. I feel that I am one of those people. So, I manage to find this forum.

- thank you for taking the time to read my post 'Borabora.'
 
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Cosmiq

Cosmiq

Student
May 7, 2020
197
Hi, I'm 30 gay female in California.
I've been depressed and suicidal since I was about 15. At the time, I think I just felt like I wasn't meant to live that long.

Today I woke up to a 3 day notice on my door, and email from my company saying they wanted me to come to work for a significant pay decrease that will not sustain me living on my own. I will not move back in with my parents. I'm only high school educated, and don't come from money to even go to school if I wanted to. My niece and nephews were probably the strongest anchors I had to keeping me in this world, but my sister recently decided homosexuality isn't something that should be displayed in front of them. So that leaves me with just my dog, and although I love him I don't think he's enough anymore.
 
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shipwreck

shipwreck

Student
May 7, 2020
155
Hi everyone,
I'm male in my 50's in California. I've lurked for a while on this site and been really impressed with the level of empathy and support that on display here. It's refreshing to find a forum where members can talk about difficult topics and find acceptance, non-judgment and ready help. I joined so that I can ask questions and hopefully offer some useful answers and perspectives.

Thank you for reading,
-shipwreck
 
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Lost_the_will2_live

Lost_the_will2_live

11:11
Feb 25, 2020
125
Hey, I have been a member since February and have posted a few things but usually I just lurk quietly. I am not a huge sharer when it comes to how I'm feeling and that is sometimes a problem for me. I am female, 34 and from the UK.
I can't remember a time I didn't have clinical depression , think I started to accept I was unwell when I was 30! But I had been unwell for a long time before that. I have had around 4 suicide attempts and one hospital admission but only so I had a "safe place". I have wanted to ctb for around 5 years now and haven't managed to leave this earth due to my dogs. I love them more than anything and they are what is keeping me here at the moment. I purchased SN and that is my first choice when and if I ctb and my second choice is carbon monoxide or hanging. I also suffer from anxiety and this has been since 2012. Combined with my clinical depression it is a crappy combination.

I have witnessed people ctb on here and I respect every since one of them, the bravery that takes is unbelievable and I always wish them the peace and happiness they have longed for once they are on the other side. I really don't know if I wish to recover or if I have the energy to recover , I think if and when I choose to ctb it's going to be when something goes awfully wrong for me or I lose someone very close to me like my mother or father and I do it spur of the moment. But for now I am taking my daily medication and enjoying the laughs and smiles my little dogs give me.

So nice to meet you all and happy to chat with anyone in the UK and around my age. Thanks to this forum I feel less "mental" and it's good to be in a place where people understand and can relate to how I feel on a daily basis.
 
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in hell out soon

in hell out soon

Student
Apr 27, 2020
114
Hey. I'm... I don't really identify with any names any more. Just call me Sans if you want I don't care.

I like anime, teen titans, Pokemon, world of Warcraft and writing. I like mine craft but only for pixemon and the occasional building/biome/other mods. I'm a builder and not a fighter - I like making armour to wear in games and stuff but I don't PVP or even enjoy PVE a lot. I just like creating. And creating stories... characters. I'm not good at anything and I'm always the annoying friend but I've been trying my best.

I got things wrong the first times I tried tbut this time I want to get it right. A few years ago I tried. Knowing what I know now... I know I wouldn't change my mind.
 
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iknowwhatyouredoing

iknowwhatyouredoing

something inside turned the lights out
Jan 30, 2020
29
hi
21 year old male from the us
trying really hard not to kill myself lately and ig its been working?
i play guitar and also make techno n stuff, ithink im not bad. i wanna apply my skills in some way to make a living but we'll see
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
Hello everyone,
First of all, I am very grateful for finding this pro-choice site. Thank you to the founders of this site for creating this forum for like minded people to interact. I also wish to thank the members here for sharing their thoughts. I am new here. I will briefly introduce myself as appropriate.

I am an Asian female and live in Canada. Just briefly, I suppose you can say that I did all the right things in life. I am just at a point in my life where I feel I have lived enough (I am 47 years old). I feel I have done all the things I was born to do. I believe that we are all born to do the things we are supposed to do (what ever that may be. I believe in a Creator). I believe (my own thoughts only), we are born to somehow live our life purpose, learn on earth, love others, etc.) and once we fulfill our life purpose, we go. I am a member of Exit International. They have found that there is now another new reason why people wish to 'ctb.' P.N (the founder of Exit) says he noticed this phenomenon of people who have 'lived enough' and so wish to die. I feel that I am one of those people. So, I manage to find this forum.

- thank you for taking the time to read my post 'Borabora.'
i absolutely identify with every thing u wrote (dont know about the creator part)
just wanted to express the warm feeling of reading a like minded view on life and our time here.
no regrets! x
 
Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,865
Hello, everyone.
48yo male from USA, here.
I used to be an artist and musician, now I only excell at fucking up my life and hurting people I care about.
Definitely manic depressive, most likely also Borderline Personality.
Life hates me, the world hates me, people who love me hate me, if there's a god he hates me, and I hate me.
I'm good for nothing.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,103
Hello, everyone.
48yo male from USA, here.
I used to be an artist and musician, now I only excell at fucking up my life and hurting people I care about.
Definitely manic depressive, most likely also Borderline Personality.
Life hates me, the world hates me, people who love me hate me, if there's a god he hates me, and I hate me.
I'm good for nothing.

But we welcome you :hug:
 
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Good4Nothing

Good4Nothing

Unlovable
May 8, 2020
1,865
But we welcome you :hug:

Thanks ❤
That's why I'm here.
I've been lurking for a couple days now, and I'm impressed with the compassion and empathy this community has for one another.
I feel like I've found my new home-away-from-home.
I just wish I'd found it sooner.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,103
If you ever need to talk, nudge me :)
 
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J

Janeツ

Numb
Sep 18, 2019
25
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,103
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
Welcome! :hug:
 
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Reiraku

Reiraku

Member
May 5, 2020
69
Hey guys, Not really sure how to start. How do you introduce yourself on a site like this?

Well anyway, most of my time I spend infront of my compute, since this is where I got all my friends. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of real life friends but this is mostly my fault due to my mean personality.
I really like musicals, raccoons and superheros but my biggest passion is daydreaming. I do it all day and it really helps me coping the world.

Why did I join this Forum? In my opinion, venting doesn't belong into an introduction but I am looking forward to explain my reasons somewhere else.

Thanks for having me
Welcome, Deus.
I daydream quite a lot too, it's like travelling to an alternate dimension where everything isn't shit.
Enjoy your stay.
 
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MeriDeath

MeriDeath

Im on the edge of reality
May 10, 2020
213
Hi. I guess I'm here because I'm here. I'm 25.
I was diagnosed with depression, anxieties, identity disorder, and more.
I wish I had never been born but I guess it had to happened.
I don't really like anything in particular, I don't have a job nor do I go to university
I don't have friends and basically everyday here is just a waste of time. I don't want it.
But if there's anything I've come to realize about me over the course of life is that I enjoy music, enjoy crying and being alone with myself. That's about it.
I'm Israeli if anyone's interested in knowing.
 
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Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
May 11, 2020
55
Hello to everyone! Very glad to find a community of such open minded and supportive people.
I am 22 female, from Eastern Europe, studying biology. Wanted to become a neuroscientist and change the way scientific system operates but mental illness completely handicapped me. Have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders in the past, struggling till today. Had a suicide attempt three years ago, which I remember in details that still haunt me. Slowly got better, but life is a bitch and I am at my lowest again. It's really frustrating to experience the same symptoms and moreso, be conscious of them, and still not be able to do anything. My mind is trapped in cycle of self-pity and guilt, desperately trying to dissociate from my physical body by any means. My mood goes from one absolute to another: one minute I am numb, other I go through hysterical panic. I am so used to escaping reality that I lost any sense of identity or direction in life.
Every morning I ask myself if this existing is worth all the suffering. Every morning the answer is "no". But seeing what pain caused my attempt to people that I love, I understand that my death is not worth their suffering. So I am stuck in this limbo at the moment. I don't know for how much longer thought.
Anyway, it's already too much blabbering. I am glad to join this safe place and wish you all to find peace.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
Hello to everyone! Very glad to find a community of such open minded and supportive people.
I am 22 female, from Eastern Europe, studying biology. Wanted to become a neuroscientist and change the way scientific system operates but mental illness completely handicapped me. Have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders in the past, struggling till today. Had a suicide attempt three years ago, which I remember in details that still haunt me. Slowly got better, but life is a bitch and I am at my lowest again. It's really frustrating to experience the same symptoms and moreso, be conscious of them, and still not be able to do anything. My mind is trapped in cycle of self-pity and guilt, desperately trying to dissociate from my physical body by any means. My mood goes from one absolute to another: one minute I am numb, other I go through hysterical panic. I am so used to escaping reality that I lost any sense of identity or direction in life.
Every morning I ask myself if this existing is worth all the suffering. Every morning the answer is "no". But seeing what pain caused my attempt to people that I love, I understand that my death is not worth their suffering. So I am stuck in this limbo at the moment. I don't know for how much longer thought.
Anyway, it's already too much blabbering. I am glad to join this safe place and wish you all to find peace.
hiya NG first welcome. second lovin your name and avatar. third keep posting your sketches. forth limbo is life innit.. fifth element :heart:
 
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Nuclear Gandhi

Nuclear Gandhi

Member
May 11, 2020
55
hiya NG first welcome. second lovin your name and avatar. third keep posting your sketches. forth limbo is life innit.. fifth element :heart:
Hey! Thank you for warm welcome, I was nervous joining :) You have a very cool art style as well
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
Hey! Thank you for warm welcome, I was nervous joining :) You have a very cool art style as well
art fart xx i am kinda new myself :) happy your here mate! x
 
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Ikumi

Ikumi

New Member
May 11, 2020
2
Hello.
I'm from France.
I was a gifted kid and I was bullied but it wasn't that bad. I always thought I'd have a bright future like everyone in my family. Well sure I entered a prestigious university and everything but I guess that's my last achievement. To be fair things went downhill before I even entered it but I pretended I didn't know.
Severe depression, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders, god damn borderline personality disorder, and stuff, well I dropped out. Tried to get my shit together and to enroll somewhere else. Dropped out again. Still feel like everyone hates me over that. But well it's not even that important. I'm very tired of this. I ended up ditching all my therapists and now I self medicate from time to time but lol.

Anyway I like anime, dramas (mostly Thai and Korean), kpop and obsessing over things.
I really love the idea of this website, I've been browsing for a few days and I really love the "lack of censorship" I mean I know you cannot encourage someone to ctb or something but like we can express our will to do it and respect the decision of people who do. Also the information is very helpful.

Anyway nice to meet you all !
 
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Werewolf

Werewolf

Without shelter
May 12, 2020
114
Hi I'm a 31 year borderline alcoholic with chronic depression and anxiety. Been prowling around the forum for awhile now so I thought I'd finally join, lots of good information here and the vibe kinda calms me.
I've been able to maintain a semi-normal life even though it's a constant battle, not many other than my closest friends and family knows about my problems, it's all smoke and mirrors of course. Last year though things have gone from bad to pretty much unbearable due to deaths in the family, wife left me, can't sleep can't eat.

Was sober for a year but that only made me feel worse I'm just tired of fighting now and the constant noise in my head only ever stops when I drink, gives me a few hours of peace at least. Been on pretty much every medication there is and nothing ever worked.
Somehow I think my brain is just wired wrong.

When not trying to maintain my life-lie I play guitar and drums, used to play weekends at the local pub but anxiety made that impossible. Now just being at work takes up so much energy that I'm utterly exhausted to the point were I just pass out when I get home.

This turned into a longer post than intended so I'll just end it here.

Nice to meet y'all.
 
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