Mr. Bill

Mr. Bill

Member
Nov 19, 2018
32
Hey everyone. Just another person here wanting out, not much else really.
Been mentally ill since I was a kid, varying degrees of being functional.

Half a decade ago I found my soulmate, but that has been slowly dwindling, we rarely talk.
I have nothing to live for anymore.
 
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Shanks

Shanks

Member
Nov 17, 2018
19
Hello all. I'm shanks.
 
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LiveSlowDieFast

LiveSlowDieFast

Specialist
Nov 14, 2018
338
Hey everyone. Just another person here wanting out, not much else really.
Been mentally ill since I was a kid, varying degrees of being functional.

Half a decade ago I found my soulmate, but that has been slowly dwindling, we rarely talk.
I have nothing to live for anymore.
Hello all. I'm shanks.

Hello, you two. I hope you can find some solace in this place.
 
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O

OkTotti

Wizard
Nov 6, 2018
616
Hello all. I'm shanks.
Welcome aboard Shanks... so why do you want to CTB? And do you have a preferred method?

Please only share with what your comfortable with...
 
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E

Enough no more

Member
Oct 9, 2018
10
Hi,

36yr old female from southwest England here. Have been lurking for a while but thought it would be rude if I didn't at least say hi. I'm glad I found this forum and appreciate all the advice that's on here x
 
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loz

loz

Dead inside
Nov 19, 2018
19
Hey yall. I'm kinda new, but I lurked on the reddit and have been on and off of the discord. I've been depressed since middle school, and have gone through damn near every regimen my psychiatrist can through out me, along with ECT. Unfortunately, I have yet to find something that works, and I've determined that CTB is the only solution a long ass time ago w/ multiple failed attempts and hospitalizations under my belt. I'm likely going to go with Night Night or partial suspension sometime, but I don't have the willpower for either in my current state. I'm glad to have a community of like-minded people, since I spend most of my life surrounded by insane pro-lifers. IMO, the right to die should be a fundamental human right, but that's neither here nor there. Despite being introverted to a fault, I love to chat with internet folks if y'all want to hmu in the dm's or on discord (L020#5695).

<3
 
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L

Louise

Member
Apr 28, 2018
53
I'm 56, female. Been chronically suicidal since I turned 50. Couldn't handle the changes in my body and loss of my looks. But that's only a small part of what has led me to this dark place.

I'm diagnosed bipolar 1, I have frequent episodes of mania and psychosis despite taking the prescribed meds.

My life is a trainwreck. I have a son I never planned for or chose to have. If anything keeps me chained to this life in the longer term, it's him. He dropped out of school and is hard to deal with. He's otherwise alone in the world though, so he's gonna need me alive at least until he establishes himself.

I had N and no longer have it. Long story that I am too ashamed to tell. No I wasn't bad, just dumb to let that opportunity slip through my hands when many people would kill to have N.

I've been on several other pro choice sites and recently found my way to this one. I've quickly become addicted and am grateful for the sense of community. I only today decided to stop lurking and out myself, hence this post.
 
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Dead Meat

Dead Meat

DOOMED
Oct 10, 2018
18,395
I'm 56, female. Been chronically suicidal since I turned 50. Couldn't handle the changes in my body and loss of my looks. But that's only a small part of what has led me to this dark place.

I'm diagnosed bipolar 1, I have frequent episodes of mania and psychosis despite taking the prescribed meds.

My life is a trainwreck. I have a son I never planned for or chose to have. If anything keeps me chained to this life in the longer term, it's him. He dropped out of school and is hard to deal with. He's otherwise alone in the world though, so he's gonna need me alive at least until he establishes himself.

I had N and no longer have it. Long story that I am too ashamed to tell. No I wasn't bad, just dumb to let that opportunity slip through my hands when many people would kill to have N.

I've been on several other pro choice sites and recently found my way to this one. I've quickly become addicted and am grateful for the sense of community. I only today decided to stop lurking and out myself, hence this post.
Welcome Louise I hope you enjoy your time here on the forum.
 
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Motherfly

Motherfly

Student
Oct 24, 2018
108
I'm 56, female. Been chronically suicidal since I turned 50. Couldn't handle the changes in my body and loss of my looks. But that's only a small part of what has led me to this dark place.

I'm diagnosed bipolar 1, I have frequent episodes of mania and psychosis despite taking the prescribed meds.

My life is a trainwreck. I have a son I never planned for or chose to have. If anything keeps me chained to this life in the longer term, it's him. He dropped out of school and is hard to deal with. He's otherwise alone in the world though, so he's gonna need me alive at least until he establishes himself.

I had N and no longer have it. Long story that I am too ashamed to tell. No I wasn't bad, just dumb to let that opportunity slip through my hands when many people would kill to have N.

I've been on several other pro choice sites and recently found my way to this one. I've quickly become addicted and am grateful for the sense of community. I only today decided to stop lurking and out myself, hence this post.
You could be my mother...
Not because of your age, but what you said.
I was shocked for a moment
 
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Nanami

Nanami

Global Mod
Nov 20, 2018
110
Yaho.

I'm Nanami, I'm in my early 20s and live in western/central europe. I've been lurking the forums for a while and finally decided to make my own account. I figured it'd be weird if I just started posting in threads without introducing myself first, so here we go. I'll keep it short.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'll fit in here, but this place seemed like it was the closest to how I personally felt.
You see, I really want to enjoy life, I want to be happy. But there appears to be a locked door between myself and the path to happiness.
The key to that door? Something I never had, and will never have.

I currently keep bouncing between "Maybe that door will magically open." and "Just give up, it will never open." and the more time passes, the more I inch towards just giving up. But we'll see. My life is pretty chaotic otherwise, but I'll spare you the details.

That went on for longer than I intended.

Anyway, Hi.
 
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Dead Meat

Dead Meat

DOOMED
Oct 10, 2018
18,395
Welcome Nanami to the forum I hope your time here is enjoyable.
 
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Nanami

Nanami

Global Mod
Nov 20, 2018
110
Welcome Nanami to the forum I hope your time here is enjoyable.
Thank you, it's been a while since I've been part of an active community, I'm sure it'll go alright though.
 
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Diow

Diow

Member
Nov 20, 2018
23
Hey people;

Im brazillian, aquarius, 24, vegan, gay, concepts.. i love to sing, love animals, i dont like what i became, im ugly, but at the same time, i accept the facts and dont care, but people scarys me, im sad, cause i feel what they think about me, or im crazy.
 
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S

stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
Hey.
Mid-20s guy. I've been tired of being lonely these past few years. High school wasn't as bad as it turned out to be, but I still found had depressing at times. University wasn't much better but I'm done with all of that now.
I live here on the southern east coast of Australia. I'm hoping to end it as soon as practical. I just don't want to feel any pain, if that's even possible, so in the meantime I'm just chilling here with all you lovely people.
 
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Diow

Diow

Member
Nov 20, 2018
23
Hey.
Mid-20s guy. I've been tired of being lonely these past few years. High school wasn't as bad as it turned out to be, but I still found had depressing at times. University wasn't much better but I'm done with all of that now.
I live here on the southern east coast of Australia. I'm hoping to end it as soon as practical. I just don't want to feel any pain, if that's even possible, so in the meantime I'm just chilling here with all you lovely people.
I dont wanna feel pain too my friend ♡
 
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Jenna

Jenna

Experienced
Nov 21, 2018
234
I'm hoping I'm doing this right. If I'm not please delete. I'm late 40s female harmed by psychiatry and taken as directed. I'm currently on a Valium taper and the side effects are unbelievable. I no longer can even sleep. I've had very low quality of life life the last three years.
 
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Dead Meat

Dead Meat

DOOMED
Oct 10, 2018
18,395
I'm hoping I'm doing this right. If I'm not please delete. I'm late 40s female harmed by psychiatry and taken as directed. I'm currently on a Valium taper and the side effects are unbelievable. I no longer can even sleep. I've had very low quality of life life the last three years.
Welcome jenna to the forum I hope you enjoy your time here.
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
I am a 37-year-old man who lives in France and since the depart of my big mother I feel alone and sad because it was my financial and emotional support and his(her,its) fact 10 years old which I work more and than jai no boyfriend and what all are friends to me are in couple and I feel very alone in world

I was to diagnose to nevroser and depends emotional and I'm fed up of this life that I have all to miss or I took good choice
 
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Swisher

Swisher

Black as coal
Sep 9, 2018
388
Hello, I'm 19 and struggling with my mental health. Due to my mistakes in life and situations that happened I feel as though my existence is no longer needed. I'll be hanging out here until I can find the confidence to do it.
I'm not 19 (i wish I were!) But, I would have made so many painful mistakes if I hadn't made a pit stop here. No matter what you decide there are people here who feel the same way you do.
 
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W

Welsh

Member
Nov 23, 2018
5
I'm a 23 year old female. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression during my early teen years and have waddled through life with limited social skills and coping mechanisms since then. I think I've come a long way from where I started, but always feel like I'm pretending or an outsider in some way.

Nice to meet you all.
 
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Swisher

Swisher

Black as coal
Sep 9, 2018
388
I'm a 23 year old female. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression during my early teen years and have waddled through life with limited social skills and coping mechanisms since then. I think I've come a long way from where I started, but always feel like I'm pretending or an outsider in some way.

Nice to meet you all.
Nice to meet you and you'll fit right in
 
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Dizzy

Dizzy

Member
Nov 24, 2018
35
Hello,
I'm a late 20s female with major depressive disorder, all forms of anxiety, and various ptsd. I tried killing myself around ages 12-17. I tried sleeping pills, I tried cutting myself, I tried slitting my throat, I tried hanging myself, I tried more pills, I tried hose in exhast car thing. I failed because I only learned how from watching my father fail suicide. And times when I could have succeeded I was intervined.
One day I took acid and realized how beautiful life was. I thought maybe things would get better and I'll wait until I'm 27 to decide again.
I experienced heartbreak, friends successfully killing themselves (the guy I lost my virginity to laid on train tracks weeks later. I never told him it was my first time) I've been hospitalized, sent to a teenage correction facility in another state, tried all the medications, became addicted to Xanax, got cut off and became agoraphobic, tried all the illegal drugs...my family got rid of all my stuff when I moved for a few months, I've been shamed, blamed, but mostly a burden. My dad tells his work I'm retarded to get out of stuff. I flunked out of university my senior year. I can't keep a job. I go to a lot therapy mostly for PTSD. My friends are all selfish drug addicts or alcoholics. My last boyfriend was emotional abusive and I'm still in love with him. (Most stupidest frustrating thing ever)

I'm pretty extreme, I dress weird, am very artsy, love all science. Art has saved me for the most part. I participate in burning man and spin fire. I was going to school for medical illustration...wanted to 3D render biochemistry. I used to be good but I haven't kept up with it and have lost my spark, it seems.

I've been a failure all my life and have suffered since my father decided crack was a better alternative to having a family. I grew up emotionally neglected, and in therapy/prescibed drugs.

I thought love could fill in the empty holes of my soul but I'm a burden to anyone. It's really not fair to the other person.
I thought well I could love my career but I failed out of college and have never had motivation to really work hard on anything. I find little purpose to anything and having a whatever job crushes my soul.

I really can't blame anyone by myself, now. I feel like I am suffering everyday. I'm unproductive, sleep 18+ hours, live in my bed, mooch off my family, cry a lot...etc... I just don't see a point to anything. Life will live on without me. I am totally at peace with that.
 
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A

adrianno23

Member
Nov 3, 2018
16
Hey, I'm 26 F, I was part of all kinds of SS reddits, even though I didn't post much on this site. I will be CTB this week so I thought that it would be nice to say hello. :smiling: (yeah, not very fitting emoji huh)

Maybe I will try to add something later. But I don't feel like it at this point. I also have to write effing suicide note, I don't know how, I feel drained. I have to clean whole apartment. And at last I have to be succesful, I'm scared of that part, as much as I hate life, life after being rescued would be even worse.
 
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T

Tyuiop

Student
Nov 25, 2018
155
Hi all, i'm 25 f, planning to ctb at christmas. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar and tried many meds but they don't help. I believe that this is a dream and when we die we wake up. I'm also disabled by my meds i sleep 12 hours a day and can't work full time. And i'm just tired of living like this, lonely and no fun from anything.
 
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Smilla

Smilla

Visionary
Apr 30, 2018
2,549
Hi all, i'm 25 f, planning to ctb at christmas. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar and tried many meds but they don't help. I believe that this is a dream and when we die we wake up. I'm also disabled by my meds i sleep 12 hours a day and can't work full time. And i'm just tired of living like this, lonely and no fun from anything.

Welcome and sorry you are here but glad you found us.
 
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everrgreenn

everrgreenn

well
Nov 24, 2018
20
There's not much else to do anymore. Everyday seems so long and I don't want to live this slowly.

I don't have too many hobbies, except that I like to run. It's one of the only things that I like to do anymore.

I've been planning to ctb for a few years now, and the only thing still keeping me here are my friends.

I'm glad to have joined the community and I'm looking forward to getting to know some of you.
 
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