Venting Interrupted.

[holdont1llmay]

I was nearly through with hanging myself earlier. Before I started kicking my feet. What I was using held me fine. I have or well now had a sturdy tv stand that hung from my wall, I was on the pc working on a website and pacing after that because I don't even know If I truly want to die. (I know now, I've decided i just won't eat until my body fails and I end up unable to live. I am underweight as is. Won't take long.)

She woke up my brother, proceeded to take my belt away, my step stool, my tv and left me alone in my room. They both berated me, cussed me out, he blamed her for giving birth to me.

She yelled at me for being stupid, even though she told me to try again. She always tells me to try again after a failed attempt.

I am not loved by the only people who are supposed to love me. I just don't know why they don't I haven't attempted in a long time.

I wish god was real so he could kill me. I wish all the times my immediate family has tried to kill me worked, all the times ive been choked nearly to death by my mother, my brother, and my father maybe I deserve death. My throat hurts from being wrapped around the belt, and now it stings because I'm crying. I hope when I finally die, she goes through all this.

I want her to feel an ounce of misery I do on a daily basis, and by taking away her eldest son maybe she will. I am spiteful.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I too was unloved and abused by the very people that were supposed to protect me. I feel your pain. It has lived on in me for my entire life. No matter how hard I try to see things differently, it just doesn't work. I don't know why people have children when they don't intend to at least love them.

 

[NewPerspective]

My brother,

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Words cannot describe the pain you must feel. You need to know that there is hope and there is a God. God will seek justice one day for those who have hurt you. Call upon the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. God wants to give you eternal life, the evil people of this world around you want to see you dead, which ones will you listen to?

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live."

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

"He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

I hope these words encourage you to seek help, I don't know how old you are but it seems that you are young and need to reach out to someone and tell them what has been going on. You have a future and a whole life ahead of you, there is nowhere else to go but up.

If you need any help finding resources or someone that can get you out of that situation please let me know.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

My brother,

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Words cannot describe the pain you must feel. You need to know that there is hope and there is a God. God will seek justice one day for those who have hurt you. Call upon the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. God wants to give you eternal life, the evil people of this world around you want to see you dead, which ones will you listen to?

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live."

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

"He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

I hope these words encourage you to seek help, I don't know how old you are but it seems that you are young and need to reach out to someone and tell them what has been going on. You have a future and a whole life ahead of you, there is nowhere else to go but up.

If you need any help finding resources or someone that can get you out of that situation please let me know.

You need to keep your religious pro-life, anti-choice prosletyzing to yourself. Find another forum if you want to spew this nonsense.