i want to get a feel for this forum, the demographics is it global or just of the west, are you lucid or unhinged, are you twenties and thirties or middle aged, are you male or female
most importantly are you posting up for attention, out of desperation or are you like me and see everything for what is even if it doesn't feel good
this isn't a question i don't want answers this is just what i'm thinking
i want to tell my story in short form it all has a point, i'm sharing here because there is no where on the internet i can think of
i'm from the usa i'm 25 male
there isn't much to say about my childhood it was just okay
even my adolescence was dull but i have inattentive add and things escalated quickly , i couldn't process the academia and i attended a private high school
my happiness and creativity was stripped and in its place resentment jealousy
my parents come from dysfunctional families and a very religious society , my parents are the children of the baby boomers,
the result is a hybrid of latchkey kid and authoritarian conservative christian parenting
given that my parents have baby boomers as parents they are inconsiderate, harsh, and sociopathic
i believe mental illness runs rampant in my family on a psychological sense, they don't care though they aren't smart enough too
my grandfather i think was normal but he was radicalized by religion, and it led to an early death
as a result my father never matured and has emotional problems, he yelled at me a lot when i was in my teens, he beat my dog for barking
my mother is cold natured and lacks genuine warmth, she profiled me at some point as being like my father a loser and treats me like im a failure
my father impressed many of his attributes onto me none of which are healthy but i couldnt avoid under that household
my grandparents like my mum also view me as a failure like my father despite that they were born in an era of economic chance, they also just baby
people around as baby boomers do, they don't think at all, they aren't generous , and our surrounded by their friends whom are also sociopaths and narcissists
so the dynamic was always unhealthy a cold judgmental impatient mum
a unstable father who is mentally stunted seemingly never having aged past 15
my parents are very religious and i will never hear the end of it , i believe religion at least in this era is damaging ion so many levels , it also disrupts critical thinking
something my parents don't have because of the mennonite esque denomination they were raised in that was rules based
in my early twenties i kind of lost i wanted my parents to play a role they have no capacity for, i wanted to struggle visibly and for them to intervene but they never did
in my late twenties now they shift the blame for my economic failure onto me because thats what society does shift the blame to the weaker figure, they don't
examine their life much , they just espouse societal values
i never had it easy even though i could have , it didn't have to be this way, religious people and baby boomers don't understand that they insist things are a certain way
even though they aren't but they they'll push onto you without your consent anyway like a rapist
i am a failure by societies perception and from a quantifiable lense i am kind of a failure and i live accordingly, but i don't care
i have chronic health issues , that could be cured by healthy food but i'm too poor for that, and now i look like shit, i'm 6'4 and weigh 130 lb, my gallbladder doesn't work,
the reason i don't judge myself is because i was lied to by society , by social dynamics, furthermore i lived in a country captured by corporations and didn't notice til it was too late
i lived in the matrix , the truman show i didn't know better , and i failed to see capitalism , and the fiat , and the economics and finance some how i missed the point
and my diet my life in the formative years was poor instead of healthy food it was corporate food, and there isn't anything i can do about it even now
and i had addictions so my health and quality of life have plummeted
i don't know what to say, i only have myself and i trust no one, anyone can say anything to me and i wont believe me
i live out of my car even i could stay at home maybe maybe not it trends not to be , my parents don't want me there and its been a cold war since i was a teenager
but also i have to work and my area doesn't pay well so i have to stay away and i don't want to be there they suck the very little energy i have away from me
women don't care about me they aren't impressed i don't blame them but it makes me apathetic toward them and i don't care for society anymore and i reject it all , ironically i had when i was a teenager it just meant that i had nothing to live for and i have rendered the consequences
its 1030 here and im getting sleepy
most importantly are you posting up for attention, out of desperation or are you like me and see everything for what is even if it doesn't feel good
this isn't a question i don't want answers this is just what i'm thinking
i want to tell my story in short form it all has a point, i'm sharing here because there is no where on the internet i can think of
i'm from the usa i'm 25 male
there isn't much to say about my childhood it was just okay
even my adolescence was dull but i have inattentive add and things escalated quickly , i couldn't process the academia and i attended a private high school
my happiness and creativity was stripped and in its place resentment jealousy
my parents come from dysfunctional families and a very religious society , my parents are the children of the baby boomers,
the result is a hybrid of latchkey kid and authoritarian conservative christian parenting
given that my parents have baby boomers as parents they are inconsiderate, harsh, and sociopathic
i believe mental illness runs rampant in my family on a psychological sense, they don't care though they aren't smart enough too
my grandfather i think was normal but he was radicalized by religion, and it led to an early death
as a result my father never matured and has emotional problems, he yelled at me a lot when i was in my teens, he beat my dog for barking
my mother is cold natured and lacks genuine warmth, she profiled me at some point as being like my father a loser and treats me like im a failure
my father impressed many of his attributes onto me none of which are healthy but i couldnt avoid under that household
my grandparents like my mum also view me as a failure like my father despite that they were born in an era of economic chance, they also just baby
people around as baby boomers do, they don't think at all, they aren't generous , and our surrounded by their friends whom are also sociopaths and narcissists
so the dynamic was always unhealthy a cold judgmental impatient mum
a unstable father who is mentally stunted seemingly never having aged past 15
my parents are very religious and i will never hear the end of it , i believe religion at least in this era is damaging ion so many levels , it also disrupts critical thinking
something my parents don't have because of the mennonite esque denomination they were raised in that was rules based
in my early twenties i kind of lost i wanted my parents to play a role they have no capacity for, i wanted to struggle visibly and for them to intervene but they never did
in my late twenties now they shift the blame for my economic failure onto me because thats what society does shift the blame to the weaker figure, they don't
examine their life much , they just espouse societal values
i never had it easy even though i could have , it didn't have to be this way, religious people and baby boomers don't understand that they insist things are a certain way
even though they aren't but they they'll push onto you without your consent anyway like a rapist
i am a failure by societies perception and from a quantifiable lense i am kind of a failure and i live accordingly, but i don't care
i have chronic health issues , that could be cured by healthy food but i'm too poor for that, and now i look like shit, i'm 6'4 and weigh 130 lb, my gallbladder doesn't work,
the reason i don't judge myself is because i was lied to by society , by social dynamics, furthermore i lived in a country captured by corporations and didn't notice til it was too late
i lived in the matrix , the truman show i didn't know better , and i failed to see capitalism , and the fiat , and the economics and finance some how i missed the point
and my diet my life in the formative years was poor instead of healthy food it was corporate food, and there isn't anything i can do about it even now
and i had addictions so my health and quality of life have plummeted
i don't know what to say, i only have myself and i trust no one, anyone can say anything to me and i wont believe me
i live out of my car even i could stay at home maybe maybe not it trends not to be , my parents don't want me there and its been a cold war since i was a teenager
but also i have to work and my area doesn't pay well so i have to stay away and i don't want to be there they suck the very little energy i have away from me
women don't care about me they aren't impressed i don't blame them but it makes me apathetic toward them and i don't care for society anymore and i reject it all , ironically i had when i was a teenager it just meant that i had nothing to live for and i have rendered the consequences
its 1030 here and im getting sleepy
