Impulsive vs planned CTB

[birdofafeather]

The irony of having a set plan for when to kill yourself is that you look at the noose hanging from the door and you want it to happen now. Is it better to wait until the end of the week or should I just do it and risk it not going as well as I want it to?

I mean, it's... exhausting. I'm exhausted. I want to stop thinking. I want to stop feeling. And every cell inside of my body is screaming for me to get out now. To stop thinking and planning and worrying. But what if I fail? Another embarrassing trip to the hospital where I get ignored? Or being completely alone with no one knowing what I tried to do, staring at the ceiling trying not to break.

I want to die before I break. I want to die now. I want it to not fail.

Should I risk it?

 

[FuneralCry]

I would personally try to avoid the risk of the method failing if possible, the thought of potentially failing ctb is something that is so horrific to me. But after all, only you can decide when you should leave, it's a personal decision.

 

[birdofafeather]

I would personally try to avoid the risk of the method failing if possible, the thought of potentially failing ctb is something that is so horrific to me. But after all, only you can decide when you should leave, it's a personal decision.

I'm no longer scared of it failing. I've had too many failed attempts, I guess. I'm just... tired. Exhausted even, of failing and then taking it as a sign to live only for life to just repeatedly kick me while I'm down.

 

[GasMonkey]

Shit method.
Better a peaceful one.

 

[birdofafeather]

Shit method.
Better a peaceful one.

Yeah. I know. It's a bit hard given my resources. I'd love suggestions of what I can do given my limited resources