Im tired of acting like i am ok

[Ailashan]

Hi guys,

I am really feeling bad right now. I still can't sleep because of all my traumas memories, they keep me awake no matter how hard i try to calm myself down/cope. I got guests coming over in a few hours, and i hate interacting with people in real life so much, especially in the state i am right now, but apparently i have to. The worst part is that i will have to act a-ok and sociable but it really is the last thing i want to do. I really wanna fall asleep and not wake up but i know its unlikely.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

It's exhausting and stressful putting on a happy face when you feel like you are dying inside.

 

[Ammended]

It's exhausting and stressful putting on a happy face when you feel like you are dying inside.

So much this. I died a long time ago. I've been going through the motions ever since.