Help I'm starting to hate my girlfriend

[Menschenmühle]

So I posted a thread here a couple of months ago expressing my grievances towards the behaviour and personality of my girlfriend. Now time has passed and I see no point in continuing a relationship where the other person is refusing all change, who is so far from being up to the standards, if I may say so.

As I mentioned before, she wallows herself in self-pity and pessimism. Some people here said to love her just for the sake of loving her, to expect no reward. But this is extremely difficult. As far as I know, she's not a family member nor a cherished friend that I've been with for so long. As cruel as it sounds, I don't believe I ower her anything anymore, and maybe it's for the best that our ships depart from course.

The tipping point is when I expressed some personal values that I seek to embody, she replied by laughing, and saying that the greatest thing I can do in life is to soothe the suffering of my loved ones, especially as she claims that I'm partially the cause of their suffering. She is talking about my mother here, it's as if she believes I'm mistreating my mother in some way. She disrespects values that I hold dear to my heart, and wishes to replace them with self-guilt and whatnot.

Now I don't know when to exactly break up with her. Should I do it now, tomorrow, or never? I don't want to hurt her, and I'm quite afraid that she'll use the event of a breakup to further her own convictions about how everyone abandoned her and how she deserves to be alone and depressed. In this way, I can't deny that I'd feel a sense of guilt, for further degrading a person's sense of worth. But why should I even care about this? Am I really responsible for the conclusions that she comes up with regarding her own life? Eh, I don't know when and how to act really, it's quite a delicate situation.

 

[derpyderpins]

As someone who once stayed in a relationship waay too long: don't do that.

You aren't married. She is her own person. You can't owe your life to her because you've dated to this point. Breaking up hurts, but staying together with someone who resents you drags the hurt out indefinitely.

 

[Worndown]

For some, wallowing in self pity works. It is a learned behavior and difficult to shed.
You are in the tough position of caring but not being able to help or cope.
It happens.
Leaving in a nice manner is best for both of you. Do it before hate is too strong.

 

[Menschenmühle]

For some, wallowing in self pity works. It is a learned behavior and difficult to shed.
You are in the tough position of caring but not being able to help or cope.
It happens.
Leaving in a nice manner is best for both of you. Do it before hate is too strong.

I understand, but there's a feeling that I might regret my decision later on, that I actually love her more than I thought.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I readed your previous thread- sounds like your gf doesn't wanna (or can't) change her point of view... It's bit frustrating to listen differing opinions and arguments all the time without really solving any of them, and she is kinda rude... We are all different in sense, but if she is just dragging you down, it's better to move on- or say that you would hope for her to put in some effort, etc... Something about "biological reality" could btw make some sense, since if there is not "happy hormonal balance" in the body, then there's some difficulties to see or experience things on the brighter side / there's no energy to be happy or motivated.

 

[Worndown]

Loving someone and being able to cope with them are opposing emotions.
I tried that for 10 years and finally had to run away.
While I can say I hated their behavior, I did feel bad for them as a person. A life wasted away.
You do what you need to do.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Sounds like you're ready to move on. But reading your earlier threat, you've been for a while.