Venting IM SADDD (FAILED ATTEMPT)

[Wilt-On-High]

I feel so embarrassed
I'm sorry for lying to everyone

I couldn't do it
My head hurt so bad
I put my head through the noose and pulled and pulled but there was so much pain
I got a bad headache

And I had to pretend to everyone that nothing happened when I left the bathroom :(

This is my fourth attempt
I'll try breaking into the 19 storey flats and jumping next time
( question for anyone who reads this: Is 19 storeys reliable?)

I'm sorry everyone :(

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Don't be too hard to yourself It's ok to fail!! I hope you recover quickly and welcome back!

Jumping is even more difficult than hanging. Ig you tried partial? That's also difficult to get it done right.

 

[Wilt-On-High]

Don't be too hard to yourself It's ok to fail!! I hope you recover quickly and welcome back!

Jumping is even more difficult than hanging. Ig you tried partial? That's also difficult to get it done right.

Thank you :3
Yeah...I tried partial :(

But jumping seems so much easier
I could just let go of everything
And fall

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Thank you :3
Yeah...I tried partial :(

But jumping seems so much easier
I could just let go of everything
And fall

I know…partial is a bitch and very hard to pull it of.

 

[Coringa]

Mas pular parece muito mais fácil

I think jumping is harder because the SI will be bigger

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer, personally it feels so cruel to me how it's so difficult to be permanently free from all the suffering but anyway I hope you find peace.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

There's nothing to feel ashamed of. Failing at ctbing is normal and common. I also have several failed ctb attempts under my belt. There is nothing to apologize for.

 

[coffeebeany]

SI

could you explayin to me what SI means?

 

[skyflame]

No need to be sorry. Hope it all works out for you, friend.

could you explayin to me what SI means?

SI stands for survival instinct

 

[athiestjoe]

I feel so embarrassed
I'm sorry for lying to everyone

I couldn't do it
My head hurt so bad
I put my head through the noose and pulled and pulled but there was so much pain
I got a bad headache

And I had to pretend to everyone that nothing happened when I left the bathroom :(

This is my fourth attempt
I'll try breaking into the 19 storey flats and jumping next time
( question for anyone who reads this: Is 19 storeys reliable?)

I'm sorry everyone :(

Hey, please don't feel embarrassed about this; it's totally understandable. A lot of people go through challenges and setbacks because of SI and it's crucial to remember that just because it didn't work out right now that you "failed" somehow. I'm really sorry to hear about the pain and suffering you're facing. It honestly breaks my heart to know you're dealing with such difficult moments. I wish there was more I could do to help you beyond just sending my warm words of support and sympathy/empathy around the situation. The world can be so cruel, harsh and unforgiving. Whatever you decide, I truly hope you find peace & serenity!

could you explayin to me what SI means?

SI stands for Survival Instinct. I recently shared a post that delves deeper into this topic, exploring the biological factors that trigger it rather than just anecdotes. It also includes links to other discussions on the subject. I found it to be an interesting subject to dsicuss anyways, and I you might like the read for more details about it! : Scientific Approach to Understanding SI and Discussion on Tools to Minimze SI Factors

 

[nails]

my last attempt went exactly like yours, so i partially understand how you feel. the head pain is far too severe to just ignore. you pulled your head out of that noose because you're a human who had a human reaction to severe pain.

you didn't lie to anyone and nothing about what you did should be seen as "embarrassing." you have no need to feel sorry, you didn't do anything wrong.

i don't think jumping is a good idea. it's too unpredictable. for starters, the SI will probably be so strong, you likely won't end up jumping. but even if you do, it's just a very unreliable method. some people die after jumping from short distances, some people live after jumping from super high distances. it's not certain that you'll die and the consequences of surviving are very severe, i'm sure you can imagine how terrible it would be to live through something like that.
i know you don't want to hear this, but please don't risk it.

i'm wishing you the best, and i hope you are able to find some peace. feel free to message me if you need to talk. <3
(also, is that Damon Albarn on your pfp? i love him!!)

 

[Wilt-On-High]

my last attempt went exactly like yours, so i partially understand how you feel. the head pain is far too severe to just ignore. you pulled your head out of that noose because you're a human who had a human reaction to severe pain.

you didn't lie to anyone and nothing about what you did should be seen as "embarrassing." you have no need to feel sorry, you didn't do anything wrong.

i don't think jumping is a good idea. it's too unpredictable. for starters, the SI will probably be so strong, you likely won't end up jumping. but even if you do, it's just a very unreliable method. some people die after jumping from short distances, some people live after jumping from super high distances. it's not certain that you'll die and the consequences of surviving are very severe, i'm sure you can imagine how terrible it would be to live through something like that.
i know you don't want to hear this, but please don't risk it.

i'm wishing you the best, and i hope you are able to find some peace. feel free to message me if you need to talk. <3
(also, is that Damon Albarn on your pfp? i love him!!)

Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it. I really do :)
And I guess you're right about the jumping, unfortunately

Also yes that Is Damon albarn I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HIM TOOOO MUCHHHHHHHH

I think jumping is harder because the SI will be bigger

Yeah...But when your desperate it's like a whole different story

Hey, please don't feel embarrassed about this; it's totally understandable. A lot of people go through challenges and setbacks because of SI and it's crucial to remember that just because it didn't work out right now that you "failed" somehow. I'm really sorry to hear about the pain and suffering you're facing. It honestly breaks my heart to know you're dealing with such difficult moments. I wish there was more I could do to help you beyond just sending my warm words of support and sympathy/empathy around the situation. The world can be so cruel, harsh and unforgiving. Whatever you decide, I truly hope you find peace & serenity!

Thank you :)
It's been hard honestly
I mean....FOUR FLIPPING TIMES IVE FAILED :(
its like something keeps trying to keep me here even though i don't want to be alive
I have no future

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

I feel so embarrassed
I'm sorry for lying to everyone

I couldn't do it
My head hurt so bad
I put my head through the noose and pulled and pulled but there was so much pain
I got a bad headache

And I had to pretend to everyone that nothing happened when I left the bathroom :(

This is my fourth attempt
I'll try breaking into the 19 storey flats and jumping next time
( question for anyone who reads this: Is 19 storeys reliable?)

I'm sorry everyone :(

Hey! :) I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I've tried hanging before and only 3 times in my life out of 30 attempts have I ever peacefully almost passed out. I don't have the guts to hang I've got another method but please reach out to me if you want support. I'll CTB if things don't work out in my favour with something but I'm still around for a short while so please, whilst I'm here talk to me. I don't know you but I care.

 

[maniac116]

You didn't fail!
You just haven't succeeded yet.
You have to succeed only once.
Maybe check out other methods?
In the end I hope you find peace

 

[Defenestration]

Be careful jumping is hard because of SI.

 

[ShinyScissors]

My 16 year old brother was terrified of heights yet his one and only attempt was successful. I envy it, I feel pathetic to be his big sister who is still around with failed attempts on my record