Venting i'm mentally ill and i just wish for a peaceful death

[Buh-bye!]

i have no place in here anymore, i deliberately made sumn of myself that's a big failure at every thing, and can't even stand outside for seconds now. i- i am happy for myself, as in, i am feeling good that i could destroy it all and i succeeded. now all i want is a good death soon enough or all of this is going to be in vain. the thing is i could've elaborated more but saying stuffs makes me anxious, weirdly anxious. so yeah, just a vent. not being able to buy SN is a curse of some sort, wish i could do that. night night's just not working most of the time, it's time consuming and all that. but yea wtvs huh