i’m gonna do it

[soothesayrr]

i've had a plan to ctb for a while now but the issue is my partner. i love him dearly and i don't want him to see my dead body or hear about me dying. i don't know how to tell him that i want to kill myself and i can't stand the idea of living another day. i'm so paranoid that i'm being watched while i'm home and at work, i'm scared to go outside and be seen. i'm panicking before work because i keep thinking about the ways i want to kill myself in the bathroom while i'm there. my partner can't help me, i already know that. no one can help me. no one wants to be inconvenienced by someone who doesn't know how to function normally. i'm just trying to do him a favor and disappear before he does