can’t afford to live can’t afford to die

[eeriepuff]

i genuinely despise my parents for bringing me into this world knowing they are poor. my preference to die would be with a gun but unfortunately i can't even afford that. the cost of living is sky high so I'm expected to keep living although i can't afford to live & then can't afford to die either. WTF. At this point I'm deluding myself into believing maybe one day I'll get lucky & win money or I'll have to accept my death will be extremely grizzly and not as clean cut as I'd been hoping.
I'm trying so hard not to start cutting myself again. I just want money. That is all I want.
Lmao my night is going so rough. It's taking everything in me really not to slash my wrist. I would pray to get money but idek if god is real

 

[AngelTear]

Real I'm in the same boat as you. I had to change my preferred method because I originally wanted a gun too but no money to afford one.

 

[Quietist]

I just want money. That is all I want.

Fucking same. The tragedy of life is that a lot of people are actually ambitious but inhibited and limited by lack of financial resources.

So then we enter the trap of survival mode, coping with dead-end jobs to pay bills or end up being hikikomori well into our adulthood, living with ageing parents as an alternative to homelessness.

 

[eeriepuff]

Real I'm in the same boat as you. I had to change my preferred method because I originally wanted a gun too but no money to afford one.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. SN as a method for me is too risky as I hate throwing up + I've seen threads of people surviving which is like the worst case scenario imo. A gun would be so simple. I've been around one before so maybe I'll be able to get my hands on another one in the future

Fucking same. The tragedy of life is that a lot of people are actually ambitious but inhibited and limited by lack of financial resources.

So then we enter the trap of survival mode, coping with dead-end jobs to pay bills or end up being hikikomori well into our adulthood, living with ageing parents as an alternative to homelessness.

A job to me is like a fancy word for slavery. I just hate work more than anything. And I agree with everything you said 100%. Being ambitious but having 0 resources is hell on earth.

 

[ikiruNObungaku]

I feel this. I think a gun would be suitable to go, but at the same time I am worried about owning one. So I want to go via Nem. but it is risky to purchase online, isn't it?

I dislike it when people say money does not make people happy, because it would make people like us so much more happy. I want to afford good food, school, and doctor appointments, but I cannot for any.

 

[eeriepuff]

I feel this. I think a gun would be suitable to go, but at the same time I am worried about owning one. So I want to go via Nem. but it is risky to purchase online, isn't it?

I dislike it when people say money does not make people happy, because it would make people like us so much more happy. I want to afford good food, school, and doctor appointments, but I cannot for any.

Fuck I hate normies. Can't even look up nem without getting redirected to a fucking suicide hotline lol.

 

[eeriepuff]

N is completely out of reach. Unless you live in some South American countries or can travel there and somehow find it.
I'm afraid to say, I've been poor, I have money now. Problems in my head are still here and I still struggle and want to ctb. And any available method has risks and/or involves some kind of pain or another.

I don't even have insurance at the moment. Please speak for yourself.

I don't even have insurance at the moment. Please speak for yourself.

LMAO imagine reading me & so many others complaining about most of our issues that are making us want to ctb come from a lack of money & you say something so tone deaf & rude :/

 

[volo]

I don't even have insurance at the moment. Please speak for yourself.

I'm so so sorry. You are right…. I hope your suffering subsides as much as possible as soon as possible. I apologize again. I wish I could say something to make it better.

 

[eggsausagerice]

So then we enter the trap of survival mode, coping with dead-end jobs to pay bills or end up being hikikomori well into our adulthood, living with ageing parents as an alternative to homelessness.

i seriously hate when people interpret being a hikkomori as being a lazy neet bum, when it's quite literally the only way to avoid homelessness if you have no job or can only get low paying jobs that wouldn't be able to cover an apartment. my parents are getting old and are getting tired of me, but i lack the resources to move so the only thing i can realistically do is kill myself to stop burdening them, since they're already in their 60s while i'm in my 20s. i'd rather die than try to keep living in a world i only struggle in.

LMAO imagine reading me & so many others complaining about most of our issues that are making us want to ctb come from a lack of money & you say something so tone deaf & rude :/

i replied to someone else's (i got them mixed up with volo) comments the other day where they said you could purchase N in peru if you can travel, and i said that most people on sasu have severe financial problems so they'd never be able to. i'm assuming they live nearby peru. there was another thread the other day asking why gun suicides weren't as common if you can just go into a store and buy one, and the first reason i said is money. i know 2 different people that bought a shotgun and it was around 300 dollars for both of them. sometimes i get depressed knowing that wealthy people have the upper hand even when they're killing themselves.

 

[eeriepuff]

I don't even have insurance at the moment. Please speak for yourself.

LMAO imagine reading me & so many others complaining about most of issues that are making us want to ctb come from a lack of money & you say something so tone deaf & rude :/

i seriously hate when people interpret being a hikkomori as being a lazy neet bum, when it's quite literally the only way to avoid homelessness if you have no job or can only get low paying jobs that wouldn't be able to cover an apartment. my parents are getting old and are getting tired of me, but i lack the resources to move so the only thing i can realistically do is kill myself to stop burdening them, since they're already in their 60s while i'm in my 20s. i'd rather die than try to keep living in a world i only struggle in.



i replied to someone else's (i got them mixed up with volo) comments the other day where they said you could purchase N in peru if you can travel, and i said that most people on sasu have severe financial problems so they'd never be able to. i'm assuming they live nearby peru. there was another thread the other day asking why gun suicides weren't as common if you can just go into a store and buy one, and the first reason i said is money. i know 2 different people that bought a shotgun and it was around 300 dollars for both of them. sometimes i get depressed knowing that wealthy people have the upper hand even when they're killing themselves.

I've saved up some money so I can eat my last meal & then get ready to start starving myself

 

[Hollowman]

Don't slash your wrist you'll just make your situation worse. Everyone can afford the tourniquet method.

 

[eeriepuff]

Don't slash your wrist you'll just make your situation worse.

I understand lol the last thing i need is a mental hospital again

 

[sophia30]

I've saved up some money so I can eat my last meal & then get ready to start starving myself

I've tried this before it's not impossible. No water no food just painkillers

 

[eeriepuff]

I've tried this before it's not impossible. No water no food just painkillers

I'm thinking of water fasting like Bobby sands. It took him 66 days to die without food and just water & electrolytes

 

[eggsausagerice]

I'm thinking of water fasting like Bobby sands. It took him 66 days to die without food and just water & electrolytes

66 days is insane

 

[eeriepuff]

o

66 days is insane

omfg ikr LMAOOO i wanna be gone by tomorrow

 

[3rdworldsadness]

In the same struggles:(
Unfortunately here, gun is strictly out of reach to civilians yet crimes happens everything... and I'm broke too, just trying college for making a slavery in the furure and thinking about this makes me more more suicidal, i feel so unlucky and rotten. My parents are so poor and uneducated and I end up in this devastating situation just like a poor person. It's so heavy and soul crushing feeling of realization that our fate is sealed with capitalism burden we are leveled as the low tier cartagory on the so called society. Money would solve many problems of mine too. Thinking about current or future financial makes me extremely anxious and so hopeless. Everyday I wish I can just die in my sleep.. i hate my parents for dragging me in this vile hell too, much hate them and feel anger towards them, very very unfair reality,,im extremely sorry:(

 

[sophia30]

I'm thinking of water fasting like Bobby sands. It took him 66 days to die without food and just water & electrolytes

No food or water is the method. Much faster than no food. It has to be both and it's not as painful as it seems. It's a very spiritual way to die. Painkillers plus any meds that suppress pain and awareness help.

 

[eeriepuff]

In the same struggles:(
Unfortunately here, gun is strictly out of reach to civilians yet crimes happens everything... and I'm broke too, just trying college for making a slavery in the furure and thinking about this makes me more more suicidal, i feel so unlucky and rotten. My parents are so poor and uneducated and I end up in this devastating situation just like a poor person. It's so heavy and soul crushing feeling of realization that our fate is sealed with capitalism burden we are leveled as the low tier cartagory on the so called society. Money would solve many problems of mine too. Thinking about current or future financial makes me extremely anxious and so hopeless. Everyday I wish I can just die in my sleep.. i hate my parents for dragging me in this vile hell too, much hate them and feel anger towards them, very very unfair reality,,im extremely sorry:(

It's okay im doing the best i can. I don't think I'll be around too much longer though lol

 

[EndlessRage]

i genuinely despise my parents for bringing me into this world knowing they are poor. my preference to die would be with a gun but unfortunately i can't even afford that. the cost of living is sky high so I'm expected to keep living although i can't afford to live & then can't afford to die either. WTF. At this point I'm deluding myself into believing maybe one day I'll get lucky & win money or I'll have to accept my death will be extremely grizzly and not as clean cut as I'd been hoping.
I'm trying so hard not to start cutting myself again. I just want money. That is all I want.
Lmao my night is going so rough. It's taking everything in me really not to slash my wrist. I would pray to get money but idek if god is real

I have money but it hasn't bring me any real happiness, i just feel empty.

 

[eeriepuff]

I have money but it hasn't bring me any real happiness, i just feel empty.

I'm so sorry about the way you're feeling. Although a lot my issues that are pushing me to ctb are money related ,sometimes i am curious if id still feel empty even with money.

 

[EndlessRage]

I'm so sorry about the way you're feeling. Although a lot my issues that are pushing me to ctb are money related ,sometimes i am curious if id still feel empty even with money.

I have access to a old pistol now but i am too much of a coward to pull the trigger, please do not cut yourself it's not worth it and i have always ended up regretting it as well, i get it i once too was in a very tense moment of my life it felt like the whole world had turned against me. I ended up cutting myself all over my arms, my stomach. I still regret doing that to this day. No matter how bad it gets if you feel like you're not prepared to do it just stay calm and things will work themselves out for you.

 

[eeriepuff]

No food or water is the method. Much faster than no food. It has to be both and it's not as painful as it seems. It's a very spiritual way to die. Painkillers plus any meds that suppress pain and awareness help.

I will try this