Im going to hang myself on may 19th

[human123]

Im 18 years old and I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was 11. Ive also attempted 3 times in the past, twice when I was 11 and once when I was 12. I was in and out of mental hospitals back in middle school, and once I got out for the 3rd time, I was determined to get better out of fear of going back to that hell hole. I went to lots of therapy and tried to will away my thoughts. For a bit, I seemed to be doing well and was able to push them to the back of my head, but that didn't last. I really tried my best but I cant take it anymore.

I know id be throwing my future away and would miss college. I know im smart and have the potential for a bright future. But I dont care because I also know that ill continue to experience this insurmountable suffering that I tried so long to find off. Im going to do it. Thats final.

On the 18th, 19th, and 20th of May I will be home alone all day. On the 18th I will prepare myself and on the 19th ill carry my plan of full suspension hanging out. I have a rope already and have been working on writing a suicide note. Soon after my mom leaves for work, I will go down stairs in the basementand hang myself on an old pull up bar. no one should find me for about 7 hours. That should be enoughtime to be fully dead. I will also tie my hands behind my back so I cant undo the noose. I might also put a bag over my head just in case the rope breaks. I am pretty confident that this is going to work. Then I will finally be at peace.

The only negative is that this would hurt my mom. She spent a lot of money on me with a trip she planned for me. All of that money would be wasted once I die. My mom would likely also blame herself, but I hope my not can prevent that. I dont want to hurt anyone.

If you want to hear my story, then i wrote about it here.

My story

The beginning The early years not much happened so ill skip them. girst, my parents got divorced when I was in 2nd grade. I remember my father was putting me to bed and told me that he would be away for a while. I asked if he was going to come back, and he said he didn't know and then just left...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Im not sure why im posting this now, I was going post as I get closer to the date, but here we are. In a wierd way, im kinda excited, even though I shouldn't be. I will likely post in more detail when its close to the date, but for now, is do you have any recommendations or worries of it failing. I need this to succeed.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems and failed suicide attempts. Yes, tying hands behind the back ensures successful hanging by preventing a natural urge to undo the rope knot, although it must be extremely difficult to undo the knot with the weight of the body pulling on it. I assume you will stand on an object like a chair or stool and step off it to become suspended in the air. You may therefore choose to kick it away in order to overcome an urge to step back on it, making the process inevitable, as you clearly want it to be. You'll be gone in minutes through asphyxation, so won't need to die by hanging for hours. So no chance of early discovery. The rope is unlikely to break if it's really thick and therefore strong. And it needs to be firmly secured to both the bar and around your neck, of course.

 

[human123]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems and failed suicide attempts. Yes, tying hands behind the back ensures successful hanging by preventing a natural urge to undo the rope knot, although it must be extremely difficult to undo the knot with the weight of the body pulling on it. I assume you will stand on an object like a chair or stool and step off it to become suspended in the air. You may therefore choose to kick it away in order to overcome an urge to step back on it, making the process inevitable, as you clearly want it to be. You'll be gone in minutes through asphyxation, so won't need to die by hanging for hours. So no chance of early discovery. The rope is unlikely to break if it's really thick and therefore strong. And it needs to be firmly secured to both the bar and around your neck, of course.

Thank you very much. I will use a hangman knot for the noose. would that work? also, which knot would be best to secure the rope to the pull up bar? and yes I plan on stepping off of a very light plastic chair and kicking it down.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

I assume a hangman's knot, for which instructions on how to tie it are available in Internet, has been intended primarily for executions in which someone is dropped from a height by opening the elevated floor on which they stand, resulting in instant death by the neck bone being broken by the high sudden force applied. It should certainly be suitable for the gentler method of just stepping into the air from a kicked-away chair. It is a similar process then to that used in Iran for public executions, in which convicted persons are hung up in the air suspended on a crane, dying in 15 minutes or so and left on display for a while after the death throes have stopped. I have no particular suggestion for the pull-up bar knot, other than pulling on it hard in a rest before the planned hanging event.
Incidentally, if two people decide to commit suicide as closely attached partners by hanging themselves at the same time, they can hold or even better tie hands together before stepping into the air, so it's difficult or impossible to loosen the knots around their necks. As an alternative then to tying hands behind the back.