i’m alive sadly

[the guilt i carry]

how stupid of me was to assume that it'll work. i vomited. actually i was hoping that maybe i would feel something. something like desire to live. but now i'm just disappointed that i didn't have more pills and that i couldn't hold up not to vomit. i feel better now, and now i know that i probably will never try pills again.

 

[user39]

what method did you use

 

[the guilt i carry]

what method did you use

I took about 50-60 pills antispasmodics

 

[Shadowlord900]

I wish I could of helped, but without knowing what brand/type of antispasmodics you were taking, I had no idea how to search for the lethality of said pills.

Just saying the type of drug you're taking isn't that very helpful. It'll be like if I said I took 5g of an opioid. Now if said opioid was fentanyl yes that would definitely make me CTB if I had no previous tolerance to opioids. But if it were morphine, then no, 5g of morphine is likely not gonna make me CTB.

 

[the guilt i carry]

I wish I could of helped, but without knowing what brand/type of antispasmodics you were taking, I had no idea how to search for the lethality of said pills.

i took «no-spa» pills. i know that there are there's suffocation and heart failure in the side effects. i know that they are not very serious, but i've heard that even the smaller amount killed some people. sadly i don't have access to smth more serious.

 

[Shadowlord900]

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/289546754_Acute_toxicity_study_of_drotaverine_hydrochloride_in_rats_by_intramuscular_route

RTECS NUMBER-NX5014000-Chemical Toxicity Database

This is all I could find about deaths related to Drotaverine (No-Spa is its brand name).

LD50 of Drotaverine in rodents ranges from 350mg/kg to 540mg/kg when taken orally. So for close to 100% lethality, we would need to double that, and safest to go for the higher figure, so 1080mg or 1.08g.

So if you were say 70kg, you'd need to take 75.6g of Drotaverine for any good chance of CTBing. Even if each pill you took had 1g of Drotaverine (which I'd highly doubt it, single pills rarely ever go up to 1g), 60g would have not been enough to make you CTB.

I don't think it's a good drug to try to CTB on just because of the large volume you'd need to consume at once for any decent chance of CTBing.

Chances are, the other people you're talking about having died from smaller doses may have had other health problems that helped Drotaverine to make them CTB. I mean you really can't CTB from benzos alone, but it is technically possible to get respiratory depression and CTB from that when overdosing on benzos if you have a breathing problem such as sleep apnea.

 

[Viranamari]

In the end, SN depends on many factors. It depends on what pills you took. Whether or not there are expired. The number of pills you took and the side effects of overdosing. Some pills, only have nausea and dizziness, not death. However, you are immensely lucky that the pills you took didn't lead to permanent damage. Maybe next time, you can check with us on how you plan to CTB so that we can tell you if they would or would not work out. Anyways, I wish you luck.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it's well known that overdosing on pills generally doesn't work. If taking pills was a reliable method, the ones that people could succeed with would be listed in the suicide resource compilation. But anyway, it sounds so horrible failing ctb, that is what I fear but anyway I wish you the best.