love_peep

love_peep

Specialist
May 26, 2023
313
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: a.hamza.13, Kali_Yuga13, pleaseiwanttogo and 36 others
RichardFirst

RichardFirst

Specialist
Jan 16, 2021
383
May you find the peace that you never had in life.
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: pleaseiwanttogo, Timothy7dff, HoplessBegins and 5 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,065
Rest in peace, farewell.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: pleaseiwanttogo, HoplessBegins, venin and 2 others
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,124
It was a great pleasure to chat with you and to keep you company in the last days. I hope you are in peace now. See you on the other side my friend. Farewell!

Requiescat in pace.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: pleaseiwanttogo, HoplessBegins, venin and 3 others
Wyldfyre4948

Wyldfyre4948

Waiting for my bus
Jul 12, 2023
377
Rest easy friend. Thank you for sharing your story and your time with us.
 
  • Love
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Timothy7dff, HoplessBegins, venin and 2 others
W

who doesn't matter

Student
Jun 17, 2019
190
Sayonara sir
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: venin and LoiteringClouds
ZoloftSüchtig

ZoloftSüchtig

„We can olive together“
Apr 9, 2023
109
Rest in peace <3
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: venin and LoiteringClouds
cheese.out

cheese.out

Why am I still here
Jul 25, 2023
204
Wish you all the peace in the world and a safe journey. We are strangers rn but we will see us on the other side, my friend❤
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: venin and LoiteringClouds
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,296
I hope you are at peace now.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: venin, LoiteringClouds, Praestat_Mori and 1 other person
MiraiShisen

MiraiShisen

Student
Jun 15, 2023
165
Per aspera ad astra , hope you are at better place now
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and LoiteringClouds
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
May you have gotten to the peace you deserve.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Timothy7dff, HoplessBegins, venin and 2 others
blitz

blitz

Alive out of habit
Nov 14, 2022
64
Hope you found peace.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: venin, Praestat_Mori and LoiteringClouds
irie

irie

Member
Mar 10, 2023
98
i'm sorry it had to come to this, rest easy, i hope you're at peace now
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Timothy7dff, venin, Praestat_Mori and 1 other person
LoiteringClouds

LoiteringClouds

Tempus fugit
Feb 7, 2023
3,784
@love_peep, finally you are gone.
I'm so sorry what you have endured,
But now your salvation was procured.
Your act of sheer self-love was done.

Now you are free from terrible pain.
Eternal peace is your final gain.
But why can't I stop crying,
While staring a knot I'm tying?

Your passing told me I'm still human -
Helpless one - so I'll do what I can.
I'll remember you with sheer pride,
Until see you on the other side.


I talked to @love_peep several times, so I'm so sad and feel guilty a bit, but I believe he is now in a better place.

Note: I mentioned about a knot above but I don't have a plan to hang myself in the near future.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Roadrunner, Mayonaise, Crono and 3 others
silent star

silent star

Soon I will forget this life
Apr 30, 2023
95
I hope you found peace, rest easy.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: LoiteringClouds, venin and Praestat_Mori
M

marshmallowfluff

Member
Jan 23, 2023
58
Safe travels ✨
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: LoiteringClouds, Praestat_Mori and venin
venin

venin

Text
Jul 28, 2023
757
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
Goodbye🫶🏼 sorry you had to go through all those painful and unfair things
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: LoiteringClouds and Praestat_Mori
アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,199
I hope you found the peace you have never experienced while being alive. I wish you the best. I'll join you soon.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Aprilfarewell4, LoiteringClouds and Praestat_Mori
Starry✧・゚Daze

Starry✧・゚Daze

Member
Aug 3, 2023
75
You grew wings, dear stranger ♡
Fly and rest among the stars, your pain is gone now.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: DrearyAsh348, Mayonaise, nessun_nome and 5 others
Red Desert

Red Desert

Here for a short time. Здесь на короткое время.
Apr 24, 2023
84
Yeah, it's been exactly one year since then. That guy really died, I hope you're in a better place
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
Yeah, it's been exactly one year since then. That guy really died, I hope you're in a better place
It can only be assumed that they died. In reality no one can, actually, know for certain.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: D34DbyD4WN and Praestat_Mori
Steff1337

Steff1337

Autistic and schizophrenic, please be respectful
Jun 21, 2024
659
Farewell. May you rest in peace eternally.🕯️
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
BlockHammer

BlockHammer

Confused loser
Oct 25, 2023
240
Man i hope you will find peace in afterlife
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
l'm_rotting

l'm_rotting

New Member
Jun 9, 2024
1
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
rest in piece 💟
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,549
Rest In Peace Forever
 
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
Red Desert

Red Desert

Here for a short time. Здесь на короткое время.
Apr 24, 2023
84
It can only be assumed that they died. In reality no one can, actually, know for certain.
That's what his best friend and personal psychologist told me. I don't think they're lying
 
chiarax00

chiarax00

Persephone’s Child
Jul 5, 2024
5
For moderators and administrators, if you see this message, then please deactivate this account next Saturday, that is, 7 days after the publication of the thread



Hello dear friends and just the inhabitants of the forum. I want to say that if you see this thread, it means that I still committed suicide. Unfortunately, it is a pity that I had to leave at such a young age, namely at the age of 19. While I was here on the forum, I met a lot of good people who are sincerely ready to help you or write to you with support.It is very cool that in these couple of months I have found so many friends here. Honestly, it feels like I'm already dead from the inside, today is August 1 at 12:12 pm. For quite a long time I tried to Fight my depression, for 5 months I suffered and very much, because every day I got worse and worse until I turned into a vegetable. I tried many different antidepressants and even took benzo, but there was zero sense, neither psychologists, nor pills, nor a mental hospital helped me at all in any way, and this is sad.'Cause I've lost everything, now everything has changed since the month of April , I became very insensitive and dull, at the moment I just sit and wait for 6 hours to be delivered to me, sn. I remember my first attempt at CTB and I can say that it was not very fun considering that I was lying on the rails and it was like it didn't matter to me that I was lying there . I lay on the rails and just looked at the stars and the moon and waited for the train that should have moved me within 2-3 minutes. Looking at the stars and the moon and listening to music sounds really romantic, but unfortunately my Si saved me in the last seconds. 5 seconds before the train was supposed to pass over me, I rolled over, although I didn't see or hear her because I was turned away from her and my music was playing. It was a busy May day for sure.And right now, this is finally my 2nd attempt and hopefully the last.I will drink sn Around midnight from Thursday to Friday, but it will need to be decided when to drink exactly.In general, what Sn And what pills will I take.


1)Meto mode 48 hours
(Cerukal tablets=metoclopramide)
2)Painkillers paracetamol 1000mg
4)Fasting 10 hours
5)And the drink sn 20g 50ml water


Day 1Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
Day 2Medication and Dose
08:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
16:00hrs1 X 10mg Metoclopramide
23:00hrs 1000mg of paracetamol.
23:15hrs 3 X 10mg Metoclopramide
24:00hrs SN drink.


In general, something like this. I don't know what else to add, I just despaired as much as possible in this life, and besides STB, nothing will help, I tried everything, as I wrote above, but the results are zero. Perhaps my childhood influenced my depression, when I was 7 years old my father hung himself drunk and naked in the street in front of me.And believe me, this is not the best experience, but still the rope miraculously broke and he did not die.True, to this day he is already dead, he died of a heart attack when I was 12 years old. True, at the age of 9 I went to an orphanage because my parents drank a lot and could not provide for my brother and me.This is of course sad, but of course I will not be very upset, because finally it will all end soon. I'm sorry that it happened, but there's no other way. I lost my dreams, my plans for the future, I lost myself as a person. Unfortunately, I'm not interested in anything else, all I do all day long is get high and listen Lil peep. I don't even know until a year ago I was a cheerful person who had some principles. Now everything is different with everything. Well, actually it's not that important.The only thing I want to add is a big thank you to all those who supported me and answered my questions or just threads. I am very grateful to you all. I wish you all good luck with your future attempts Ctb.In general, I don't even know how to end it all, I will miss you guys, so see you on the other side guys and once again good luck to everyone.
wishing you nothing but peace now, thank you for sharing your life and just a fragment of your story with us
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,258
That's what his best friend and personal psychologist told me. I don't think they're lying
Well, you didn't say that before now. My comments were based on the notion that there are quite a few members who seemingly die after taking SN, but there's no real way of verifying if that actually happened, or if they're lying in a hospital bed somewhere, or possibly locked-up in a mental facility, or even if they just made everything up and decided to "stage" an exit to leave SaSu. Not sure why his psychologist would divulge something like that to you, though, as they're bound by ethics rules. Regardless, if your friend did pass away, I truly hope they're at peace.
 
  • Love
  • Informative
Reactions: GuessWhosBack and Red Desert

Similar threads

lilyofthevalley404
Replies
5
Views
422
Suicide Discussion
lilyofthevalley404
lilyofthevalley404
ASM91
Replies
2
Views
337
Suicide Discussion
dazednconfused
dazednconfused
athiestjoe
Replies
58
Views
4K
Suicide Discussion
opheliaoveragain
opheliaoveragain
potatocube
Replies
31
Views
2K
Suicide Discussion
ordep91
ordep91