lilyofthevalley404

lilyofthevalley404

Lily
Oct 28, 2024
33
I plan on catching the bus partially into next year when I sort out my will and get some other family things in place. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts since I was 8 with multiple attempts and I've decided a peaceful exit on my terms is what is best for me after my anxiety and depression has ripped so much control from my life. I plan on collecting all the material asap and then storing them in a lock-box until I sort out some pre-plan stuff and I'm sure I'm ready I want to ctb. And if I decide I'm not ready for ctb i have the items just in case the uk outlaws it lol (I know in its original air vacuumed bag it's quite stable)

MATERIALS

MEDICATION AND POISON


  • Sodium Nitrite - 100g
  • Antiemetic - 3 x 10 grams
  • Paracetamol
  • Antacid
SOURCES
removed for obvious reasons lol

TESTING EQUIPMENT

BLOOD METHOD


  • Piercing tool (fresh blood is required)
  • Some sort of surface to place blood on (a slide or a spoon is good)
AQUARIUM METHOD

  • Digital Scales (listed below)
  • 5-10ml syringe
  • Nitrite test strips. ( Usually part of an aquarium test kit)
  • 2 x Distilled water of same measurement


OTHER MATERIALS

  • Kitchen scales for weighing out SN
  • Cup x 3 for drinking SN
  • Cup x 2 for testing SN
  • Kitchen spoon for stirring
  • Measuring jug for water
  • Drinking water
MATERIALS THAT MAY BE NEEDED/ RECOMMENDED

  • Vomit bag or bucket
  • Mint for removing taste of SN
  • Storage box for all previously listed items (preferably one with a lock)


STORING SN

Its best to keep SN in its original packing to stop it from degrading to sodium nitrAte and do testing closer to CTB date

However SN is quite stable when in air-tight and dry conditions



PLAN

TESTING


Set aside 25g of total SN this will be used to test if the SN purity is above 95% (recommended)

Blood Method

  • Set aside roughly 1 gram of SN
  • Combine with fresh blood
  • A positive result is the blood quickly going black/dark red
Aquarium Method

  • Add 5 grams of SN to bottle one (per litre)
  • Move 1 ml of bottle one to bottle two
  • Test bottle two with nitrate strip
  • A positive result is around 10mg/l on the test kit


Repeat multiple times to assure purity of SN



STAT protocol

  • Make sure all materials are available and collected and purity of SN has been tested before starting the protocol


Try to fast for as long as possible and drink minimum water before starting the protocol



  • 00:00 hrs : Stop drinking
  • 02:00 hrs : Higher end of a regular dose of paracetamol
  • 02:15 hrs : 3 x prescribed dose of a dopamine-blocking antiemetic
  • 02:30 hrs : double dose of prescribed dose of an antacid
  • 02:45 hrs : Prepare 3 x 25g SN/50 ml of water
  • 03:00 hrs : drink first SN cup


If vomiting occurs drink another SN cup



Timeline of side effects (may differ)

3 mindizzy
5 minsVery drowsy, responsive
12 minsUnconscious
15 minsDeep sleep/ un-rousable
25 minsIncreasing cyanosis (blue-skin)
30 minsIrregular shallow breathing (death-rattle)
40 minsDeath


IF RESCUED/SURVIVED/CALLED FOR HELP

Tell hospital you took SN and ask for methylene blue to minimise the risk of long term side effects



Long term side effects are minium but liver damage can occur - ask for blood tests/ liver tests
 
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Reactions: TheHolySword, End_it_all, consider and 8 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,778
It sounds like you've suffered a lot but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.
 
PixelPlant

PixelPlant

smile, you’ve lived :)
Aug 15, 2023
129
I wish you the best and hope everything turns out the way you wanted
 
GetReadyy

GetReadyy

Member
Aug 15, 2024
46
There is no one to find my body, I don't want to rot at home, do you have any ideas for this?
 
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Reactions: Unknown21
EgoBrained

EgoBrained

One day your suffering will end
Sep 25, 2024
39
There is no one to find my body, I don't want to rot at home, do you have any ideas for this?
Doing it in a hotel is an option, that's how I would do it if I went the SN way, in the bathroom and leave a note outside the bathroom's door for the cleaners stating what I've done and that they should contact the authorities instead of going inside.
 
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Reactions: deadbehindtheeyes12, GetReadyy, Tuonetar_ and 1 other person
lilyofthevalley404

lilyofthevalley404

Lily
Oct 28, 2024
33
Just added together the prices and it come out to £180 fml why is a peaceful death so expensive and that doesn't even include a hotel room

I've also omitted the antacid from my plan due to wanting to minimise drug reactions

I might try and obtain the AE through the NHS to try and lower the price but the bulk comes front SN anyway so it wouldn't make much difference DMC is so expensive :(
 
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Reactions: mellowdependency
M

melancholia13

I hate it here
Nov 5, 2024
36
Just added together the prices and it come out to £180 fml why is a peaceful death so expensive and that doesn't even include a hotel room

I've also omitted the antacid from my plan due to wanting to minimise drug reactions

I might try and obtain the AE through the NHS to try and lower the price but the bulk comes front SN anyway so it wouldn't make much difference DMC is so expensive :(
How much is DMC?
 
D

DOHARDTHINGS24

Arcanist
Apr 30, 2024
418
BLOOD METHOD

  • Piercing tool (fresh blood is required)
  • Some sort of surface to place blood on (a slide or a spoon is good)

  • A positive result is the blood quickly going black/dark red
Hey
I'm definitely no expert (!!!) but I did a blood test with my SN a few months back. I pricked myself with a diabetic lancing device that I bought from the chemist - it was a suggestion from someone here, because I can't cut. I did 2 tests - one where I put blood into SN, & one where I put SN into blood. I used little white bowls. The colour change was immediate. Within 3 seconds, probably within one second. But I aimed for dark chocolate brown - everyone said like Hershey's syrup or teriyaki sauce etc. Not black or dark red. Both of mine went dark chocolate & the consistency changed immediately too, from runny blood to sludgy & thick.
Best of luck.
 
SNastablesalt

SNastablesalt

she longs for freedom
Oct 6, 2023
96
Just added together the prices and it come out to £180 fml why is a peaceful death so expensive and that doesn't even include a hotel room

I've also omitted the antacid from my plan due to wanting to minimise drug reactions

I might try and obtain the AE through the NHS to try and lower the price but the bulk comes front SN anyway so it wouldn't make much difference DMC is so expensive :(
I recommend looking for polish SN sources <3
 
TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
290
DMC profits off of our suffering but there is very little that can be done with such limited options unfortunately. I'm sorry that your life has led you here and sorrier still that it becomes so impossible to escape. I hope you are able to find your peace
 
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Reactions: lilyofthevalley404

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