If you had to have one child, would you prefer a boy or a girl?

[noname223]

I read an article about the topic. Seemingly in Germany more and more people prefer having a girl over a boy. Maybe most of the reasons consist of gender stereotypes.

But I thought about my answer. One of the best things I achieved in my life thus far was not to repeat the mistakes my parents made. Meaning procreating. Lol.

Most role models I have are men. The thinkers I listen to the most are male too. I soon want to post a thread with the title: "Who are you imitating?" There was a time as autistic trait I imitated David Foster Wallace. But I think I was just very weird socially to that time. I think I improved gladly in my awkwardness. No more imitating other people in such a way. Masking is the way to go.

I think I would prefer having a girl over a boy. One reason might be my sister is way more functional than me. Maybe the reason for it is my neurodivergence. I was born after her and the older the mother the more likely does autism occur under some circumstance.
Maybe the difference is not the gender. Moreover, as a person I find her horrible superifical and shallow. I don't like spending time with her. At the same even though I like myself more than her I loathe myself a lot.

I think I am a typcial autistic. People in real life told me my autism was obvious. I am not that good in masking. I think having had a psychosis is a hindrance in hiding my neurodivergence. You have to analyze a lot with this combination. Female autists are better in masking, end up less often like a complete recluse just like me. They have better chances to find a significant other. And have better chances to find a job. I assume that because they can adapt better to social requirements. The truth often is though that her functionality comes along with a higher mental pain level. I think I am not independent at all. I think one reason is how I was raised. And it wasn't expected from me to be independent. I am not completely sure the gender is what makes the difference. I just don't like my life much. Even though I have values that I support and the rest of my family consists only of morons that ruined lives of innocent people. I often wish I was a different person. Though, when I meet many people and learn more about them I actually prefer being me.

 

[LadyEve]

Trans people exist. Gender isnt binary.
To me this reads as would you prefer your child to have a vagina or penis. And that. Feels strange.

But I also understand society raises and treats ppl bases on how they look/sound so. I think this is more about the type of person you'd hope to raise. A more 'functional' and independent person. That's all about how you nurture them. Not how they are born.

 

[noname223]

Trans people exist. Gender isnt binary.
To me this reads as would you prefer your child to have a vagina or penis. And that. Feels strange.

But I also understand society raises and treats ppl bases on how they look/sound so. I think this is more about the type of person you'd hope to raise. A more 'functional' and independent person. That's all about how you nurture them. Not how they are born.

I think yes. But I don't really consider trans people to have a third gender though. They have the gender that they belong to and which they express.

I thought about adding non-binary people though. It would make the question more complicated. And I think it easier to talk about the difference between boys and girls because many people don't actually know that many and not much about non-binary people. It would make a nuanced debates more difficult. You could argue for the opposite at the same though.

The criticsm is very valid though. Thanks.

 

[yotaka]

Non-binary person here. For what it's worth, I agree: we complicate everything.

 

[noname223]

Non-binary person here. For what it's worth, I agree: we complicate everything.

Shall I delete the thread? It sort of excluded non-binary people. I also didn't feel comfortable to share an opinion on them. Because I don't know enough about them.

 

[yotaka]

Shall I delete the thread? It sort of excluded non-binary people. I also didn't feel comfortable to share an opinion on them. Because I don't know enough about them.

Ah, no, I didn't mean it like that. That's very thoughtful of you to ask, though

 

[Pluto]

 

[Seneca65AD]

No particular leaning one way or the other - I just wanted a child that was healthy. My wife and I were older parents but through the magic of science, my best little swimmers were matched with my wife's best eggs and whoila - a perfect daughter. Now, after she was born, I could not imagine ever wishing for a boy.

However, I did not consider trans, non-binary, or gay because, unless there are medical issues, I take the child as they are born - boy/girl. Now, if that changes, then so be it, no problem. But I am not sure I am sophisticated enough to raise a child completely free of gender. My daughter's room was decorated for a girl and she wore girls' clothes when she was still an infant. My daughter loved dolls and teddy bears, but also loved watching wrestling and being suplexed on the bed. My daughter's school has a number of 2 dad and 2 mom households, and they dressed their kids according to the gender assigned at birth - at least when the kids were small. Once they got older, they seem to have taken the path my wife and I did which is let the kids pick out the clothes they like.

I did not actually take the question as complicated because for me, it only dealt with birth. Obviously loving parents, in my mind, are going to support their children regardless of who they turn out to be, (unless they are Philadelphia Eagles' fans - then that shit is a deal breaker).

 

[Macedonian1987]

If we lived in a much better world in which there weren't any wars, poverty, suffering, illnesses I would have liked to have a baby girl I would have named her - Christine.