Discussion If you had never found SS, what do you think would have happened?

[Versailles]

What do you think would have happened in your life or would have done if you had never met SS?

 

[stygal]

I don't really know...
Probably 1. cry a lot and feel even more lost/alone 2. try to CO poison myself without any proper knowledge

 

[Versailles]

Probably 1. cry a lot and feel even more lost/alone

Like me, besides that I would have resorted to some ineffective method

 

[down for the count]

Before I found SS I thought it would be easy to CBT using carbon monoxide. I knew it already but SS reinforced my idea of how strong SI is. I probably wouldn't have CTBd but would ruminate about getting hit by a train or jumping of a bridge.

 

[Losteverythingtwice]

More failed attempts. I'm sure of my method. Was unaware of PPHB and suggestions until signing up. (Long time lurker)

 

[stygal]

Like me, besides that I would have resorted to some ineffective method

I think that CO might not be the best choice either because lots of things can go wrong - and I would have just done it without thinking about it first.

But that's actually another thing: before coming to this site I was convinced that ctbing was "easy" and every method (I knew at that time) was 100 % guaranteed success. Because you generally just here from people who succeed and are gone rather than everyone who failed.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

For me the world was starting to feel incredibly shitty and surreal back when I joined. Above all else, it was reassuring that I wasn't just losing my mind and that many others felt the same way I did (and do). If you're never able to voice your deepest, innermost issues and doubts about life, you start to feel really stifled. So even if I never ctb, it is nice to know I haven't lost the plot completely.

 

[EmpressDean]

I would probably live everyday with these awful "I want to k*** my****" like a broken record and failed medications. I think when I was a teen I thought ingensting shampoo or bleach would do it.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'd have gone insane.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Everything would just continue to spin out of control, and I would likely still be alive with no way out. Many resources outside of this forum will all-too-readily say how "painful" a given method is, but thanks to SS, my death is closer than ever, and I am comforted by the sharing of knowledge here.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Then I would resort to traditional method like hanging...

 

[Versailles]

More failed attempts. I'm sure of my method. Was unaware of PPHB and suggestions until signing up. (Long time lurker)

I see you are new, welcome to SS, feel free to express yourself however you want! We wish the best for you.

 

[ChaseBees]

I would have continued to OD on things that aren't lethal. Would have thrown up more, had dropped blood pressure and passed out often. Once I threw up party of my stomach lining after OD'ing. And I've been hospitalized twice, once which made me way worse and caused my chronic illness.

So, I would be doing bad...

 

[BottomlessPit]

I would have gone insane from the lack of reliable methods...

 

[OrcWitch]

I am too new to say really. But I don't now, I'd be me right now but with many unexpressed things I've kept to myself.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Hard to say, on the one hand, finding this site helped me to cope a lot better than anything else I've ever tried but on the other hand due to meeting someone here that raised my hopes up only to lead to them getting crushed I've become more suicidal than ever for the past year although my original plan was to kill myself anyway if I made it to 30 without ever having a girlfriend. The only difference now is that I plan to do it when I'm 28 instead of 30 I guess…

 

[Versailles]

due to meeting someone here that raised my hopes up

It is also my case, I met a great person here, we share our contacts but he is a person, he simply disappeared from the networks

 

[clown_17]

I think I never would've figured out what a subtle attempt is (partial suspension, sn, n) and so any time I attempted it would've been jumping or maybe bleach. And that probably would of left me alive but with permanent health issues and many more psych ward stays since there's no tall bridges or buildings where I live.

 

[nevinoven]

I wanted to use drotaverine OD to ctb.

 

[LivvenDe]

I would try to kill myself in some stupid non effective way... And have serious worse problems afterwards

 

[Shadowplay]

Lived a long and happy fulfilling life full of joy and peace and unicorns and rainbows. :-)

 

[Pluto]

Would have suffered even more than I already have.

Letting off steam, finding hope in genuine CTB options, feeling bonded with others in the same situation... I don't even want to think about life without this site.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I would have gone insane and ctb'd by blasting the Earth's core since I would think that there is no hope for mankind.

Being here made me see that there is but a sparkle of hope, although it's little and most of it comes from people that are unfortunately leaving this place or planning to leave.

As for the methods, I found this place while researching the PPH. So I might still know some of it. Just lesser explained.

My first option was the Exit Bag. Although I was trying to brew some chemicals.
I already had failed at hanging since I was using the hanged man knot and ruled out jumping.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Would have been in a hell of a lot more pain I imagine. Might have ended up trying a stupid method or improperly attempting and leaving myself worse than before.

 

[yesnt]

for me, probably another failed attempt and then self-loathing then another attempt, and the cycle repeat.

 

[existtosuffer]

I wouldn't be informed nor have access to an option that gives me the right to make a decision over my life.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Knife instead of SN, lol. Maybe hanging if I got lucky.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I would've been...

One with the Herd


Nah, just kidding. I would've gone bananas.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would still just be suicidal. I have wanted to exit this world for a long time and nothing will ever make me want to live. I would still be living the same empty, pointless existence.

 

[AtMostOkay]

If I'd not been introduced to this site, I'd have continued to feel desperately alone and wholly unseen. All of you here have provided me with a modicum of comfort, simply by sharing. So thank you.