L

Life'sA6itch

Student
Oct 29, 2023
141
I would have never been born. I don't have any regrets other than that. And the way my family treated me, I am certain they feel the same. There is not anything I could change without having a supportive, non-negligent, non-abusive family.
 
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Unleashtherain

Unleashtherain

Member
Nov 12, 2024
73
I took psychedelic mushrooms when I was 19 and had drug induced psychosis. Now at 41, I'm treatment resistant schizoaffective. One simple mistake cost me everything.
 
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-nobodyknows-

-nobodyknows-

Arcanist
Jun 16, 2024
435
Telling someone I was suicidal. In the end, it only complicated things
 
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L

losingsteam3141

Grad Student USA
Aug 30, 2024
57
Getting a college roommate. I didn't have any problems with him, but that exacerbated by insomnia issues and really messed up my college experience. I guess an overarching thing I could change is being able to handle my health issues (including insomnia) better before starting college. I should've realized how short and important those 4 years were.
 
F

flashoflight

New Member
Nov 7, 2024
4
@flashoflight You deserved so much better. Its so painful to love and care about someone so much and have that person never appreciate anything you did for them. We can never understand how someone can be so selfish and feel no pain for hurting the person that cared and loved them.

I was not dating that old man but I loved him so much. When he was so upset he was spending Christmas alone at home I sent him a Christmas card at work to make him feel better, l always asked how he was doing and genuinely cared about him

What hurts the most for me was not his rejection of me but the pure disrespect he showed me and then treating me like a stranger. All the kindness I showed him he completely forgot all that when I was no longer of use to him.

He got everything he wanted. Me gone from the workplace and reunited with the woman he loves. This arsehole has been on and off with his partner for over 20 years. When he is not with his partner he gets with other women including in the company and dumps them like trash when he is back with his partner.

I hope that arsehole dies all alone in care home. I have been in pain for over year because that man. Since February last year I was in nothing but pain over the way he treated me. I couldn't even cry because I was in shock the man I loved so much and thought was a nice guy turned out to be lying entilted piece of shit.
I feel your pain so much here. I can relate to it so much. I can see you deserved so much better as well, my heart truly breaks for you.

I am being treated like a complete stranger as well by someone who is taking everything from me. I genuinely have dreams about taking a baseball bat to her head, but I know in this world it's only going to be me that suffers and end up on the street. She is so entitled as well, I really just don't get it. As with you, there is no respect at all, just a total narcissist who walks right over people and screw the consequences. I am already drafting out the messages that will get sent to people when I am gone. Suffice to say she will be getting one as well as many people that she knows too.
 
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Lilythefenfen

Lilythefenfen

Exhausted of trying
May 8, 2023
76
id go back to before i started talking to my rapist. id stop myself from getting on a plane, believing his lies. id save myself from the pain of living in agony.
 
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Z

zulu123

Member
Aug 8, 2024
17
Dropping out of college. Now I am stuck working miserable dead end jobs that do not pay me well and work me way too hard.
 
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M

monk-in-hell

Member
Oct 23, 2023
39
the first time i took a benzodiazepine and spiraled into addiction.
everything i ever wanted or needed from this life i threw into hell thanks to benzos
 
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lost_ange1

lost_ange1

An angel who wants to go home..
May 29, 2024
156
There is not one single thing that could of changed my whole life other than the choice of not even being born.
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,704
I feel your pain so much here. I can relate to it so much. I can see you deserved so much better as well, my heart truly breaks for you.

I am being treated like a complete stranger as well by someone who is taking everything from me. I genuinely have dreams about taking a baseball bat to her head, but I know in this world it's only going to be me that suffers and end up on the street. She is so entitled as well, I really just don't get it. As with you, there is no respect at all, just a total narcissist who walks right over people and screw the consequences. I am already drafting out the messages that will get sent to people when I am gone. Suffice to say she will be getting one as well as many people that she knows too.
@flashoflight This is what gets people killed. I watch a lot of true crime and 1 thing I learned watching true crime is not everyone can cope with having their lives ruined or potentially ruined and end up resorting to murder.

I rescent watched a true crime documentary which involved a young famous British Pakistani Tiktoker called Mahek Buhari who plotted with her mother Ansreen to kill a man.

Ansreen was having an affair with a 21 year old man. The man was angry when Ansreen ended their affair and threatened to tell the Ansreen's husband about the affair unless she pays him thousands of pounds. Man was even threatening leak the nudes she sent him.

Mahek and her mum was never going to cope with disapproval and shame from family and the wider British Pakistani community if the affair was made public. Mahek's dad would have most likely would have divorced the mother and she was gong to lose her privileged lifestyle. In south Asain families image is an enormous deal in families.

Mahek got her tiktok followers to help her kill the man. Mahek, her mother and her tiktok followers all got life in jail.

The man died a painful he was burnt to death in his car. He didn't deserve to die a horrible death but he was an entilted piece of shit who should have accepted the affair was over.

I am NOT justifying murder but true crime shows you have there are people out there who are not scared to kill the minute they realise they are going to lose everything. This is why people need to be very careful when destroying other people's lives. people's lives are NOT a game
Telling someone I was suicidal. In the end, it only complicated things
@-nobodyknows- Same here when I was 21 years old my suicidal thoughts began. When I told my university friends in my law class I was suicidal they avoided me and didn't want to be around me anymore.

First I reached out to my close friend in my law class about my suicidal thoughts. She is one of those devout Christians who go to chruch everyday Sunday and read the bible. She blamed me for being a feminist for suffering depression. She believed a woman's purpose in life is to be a wife and mother. My friend suggested I talk to my African relatives about my depression. I told her my relatives are not nice people she looked at me as if I was crazy because she has nice and loving cousins, uncles and aunties that she can talk too. My friend and I are both African descent.

My friend even got impatient with me when my depression continued and wasn't going away. I then noticed she began avoiding me at university and even got others in my class to do the same. One day on campus we were hanging out with other people in our law class. Together we went to the library areas but I stayed behind to check out some books.

When I was leaving the library I saw my friend gathered with the others and when she saw me she and the others ran away from me. My mental health deteriorated throughout my 3rd year and my friend stopped talking me completely after exams. I was always there for this friend. I another classmate who like me is a black Christian and saw as a friend she stopped talking to me when I told her I was suicidal. She was even ignoring all messages.
id go back to before i started talking to my rapist. id stop myself from getting on a plane, believing his lies. id save myself from the pain of living in agony.
@Lilythefenfen Enormous virtual hug you deserved so much better. It's so scary how meeting one person can change your life.

I never used to understand why there people do not want to mix with others and refuse let people in their lives until I grew older. I wish I never let that old man in to my life and showed him kindness. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a nice and trusting person it would have protected me from him and all the pain he caused me.
Dropping out of college. Now I am stuck working miserable dead end jobs that do not pay me well and work me way too hard.
@zulu123 Quitting college or university is so much common than you think it's just not talked about that much. Society needs to talk more about this.

When I was doing my undergraduate degree I knew plenty of people who dropped out especially within the first and second year. I am doing postgraduate and I met a guy who dropped out of medical school and now studying business.
Taking care of my teeth as a young kid- or rather having parents who cared enough to make sure I did and didn't let me consume tons of soda and sweets. All damage was done before I turned 14 years old.

I have no desire to continue living in this state. Most people with decent teeth probably haven't considered how difficult life can be when they're damaged.

can't smile, can't laugh, can't eat food without fear, can't feel confident. This isn't a journey I want to go through. What options do I have left? Paying 30,000$ for veneers or other restorative dentistry that probably will give me tons of body dysmorphia and still shame. Still will live in fear of eating since fake teeth are never as strong as real teeth. And then even if all goes well, it'll need to be done all over again in 10-15 years.

So… yea. I can't even blame myself since my parents never even bothered to establish the habit and just let me show up to school, dirty, teeth unbrushed ever since I was in kindergarten.

I lost one of the most important parts of my health and appearance at a young age. I have no desire to "overcome" this.

I want to see my girlfriend for Christmas and spend some last days in her arms. Sometimes after the new year, I'll probably be gone. Thanks mom and dad!
@affirmatice You deserved so much better. Parental negligence is a serious issue in society that is not talked about enough and socal services are failing to hold these parents responsible.

In the UK we had a really messed up case involving parental negligence. The parents in the case had a wheelchair bound child and they kept feeding the child junk food . The child ended up getting morbidly obese. The parents always left their obsese child alone in her bedroom soiled in urine and period because she was unable to move and do anything as result of her obesity are being stuck in a wheelchair. Her bedroom had flihy conditions as her mother never cared to clean the house. The parents never cared about her and even when the child cried for help the mother always responded with cruelty.

The child died as result of her illness and living conditions
 
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C

CogitoMori

Member
Oct 21, 2024
56
Saying no to the only person that ever made me feel cared about. I should've said yes. I might've had a friend.
 
disabledlife

disabledlife

Arcanist
Jun 5, 2020
408
I hesitated before posting this message, and I apologize in advance if I might have offended some people.

I would have gone back in time far enough to change the history of my country so as to never experience this dictatorship. My country experienced a fascist dictatorship during the Second World War. This dictatorship sanctified parents, like gods and considered children as worthless objects! It created great Mother's Day, then Father's Day, etc. This country created generous family allowances and medals for large families, etc. This dictatorship (although pro-Nazi) allowed, through hypocrisy, anonymous childbirth, to hide the fact that mothers slept with German soldiers. This dictatorship that penalizes people without children! It is this dictatorship that was the cause of the largest anti-Jewish roundup in the history of this war (even Hitler had not asked for this roundup, and deportation to the Reich, which was entirely the initiative of the dictator of my country).

Since the Second World War ended and my country was liberated, my country has kept a lot of laws and customs of this dictatorship. Out of hypocrisy, the governments of the country after its liberation had declared this passage to the dictatorship as null and void, as if it had never existed. And yet, this country continues to give large family medals, large family advantage cards, guards hypocritical laws, such as giving birth under X.

This country continues, and is still the only one in the world, to allow giving birth under X, by making sure that this anonymity is definitive, by creating false birth certificates making adoptive families (if the child has been adopted) pass as blood families!

This country continues to glorify (and considers procreation as a human right, universal!) the procreation of selfish parents, aware of the mistreatment they will do to their children, aware of creating handicapped children (if they have genetic diseases, dwarfism, color blindness, ...), drug-dealing parents, drug addicts, ... This country is known worldwide for its insecurity, the absence of justice (except corruption), its arrogance, the endangerment of school teachers (who resign massively!) ... If this country had never experienced the German invasion, many children would never have known an existence of suffering, diseases, handicaps, ugliness, dwarfism, born without ever knowing their biological parents (annoying in the case of medical history) ... My country would never have experienced such a decline! Above all, I WOULD NEVER HAVE EXISTED (life of suffering, loneliness, rejections, autism, genetic diseases, etc., life without interest that I seek to leave)! My country is the worst country for antinatalists who are mocked! It is very bad not to have children in my country, this simple fact pushes to rejections, deprivation of aid, access to employment, housing, discrimination, etc.! My country is one of the worst in the world for disability, inclusion, social... The president of my country is worried that citizens have fewer children (while it is still the "developed" country with the most fertility), and wants to do everything to increase fertility! I would have preferred that children be born to loving parents, aware of giving them the best possible life, without risk of disabilities, suffering, harassment... We can always dream.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,704
I took psychedelic mushrooms when I was 19 and had drug induced psychosis. Now at 41, I'm treatment resistant schizoaffective. One simple mistake cost me everything.
@Unleashtherain There is so much about drugs we do not know. It's strange how some people can take drugs multiple times and be totally be fine then there others who take drugs just once and end up messed up.

The human mind is very weird which is what makes it so scary.
 
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Unleashtherain

Unleashtherain

Member
Nov 12, 2024
73
Yeah no use in wishing I can go back since it's impossible. I was with a bunch of friends camping and they are fine and living normal/happy lives. Luck of the draw on my end I guess. I've tried so many medications over the years and nothing gets better. I just want everything to end.
 
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disabledlife

disabledlife

Arcanist
Jun 5, 2020
408
For me, In my scale, I go back to prevent my birth. I would never have existed.
 
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Sandra

Sandra

Member
Aug 22, 2024
15
I often wondered that. I thought that I could fix things if I could go back in time. Bit now, I am not so sure. With my deposition I think things would turn out even worse if I started mendling with my choices.
 
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Reflection

Reflection

One last hurrah
Sep 12, 2024
263
I would prevent myself from making some of the mistakes I did with my ex girlfriend last year.
 
sos

sos

Specialist
Jul 22, 2024
314
i would not swim to the womb

give another egg cel a push

"so long loser" will be my final words
 
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LostLily

LostLily

Why do I exist?
Nov 18, 2024
53
Convince my parents to not have children
 
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littleraccoon3

littleraccoon3

Member
Nov 20, 2024
23
I would have gone back in time and tried to stop all the abuse going on in my house and reported it to the authorities and spent a lot more time with the people I've already lost and wouldn't have wasted my damn bitcoins on shitty weed and wouldn't be living my miserable life right now
 
O

onlyforever1

Member
Oct 27, 2024
7
I would ideally like to have never been born but if I had not gone to Japan to teach in 2016 and gotten so depressed I gained a hundred pounds then there might at least be hope for me in the future. now there's just death down every pathway.
 
T

thecreepycanadian

Member
Oct 24, 2023
18
If I could change one thing it would be not moving to Canada when I was a kid. The year we arrived here was the year I was sexually abused. It killed me, stopped me from becoming the man I was meant to be. I'm just a dead person
 
mangotango0249

mangotango0249

Member
Nov 8, 2024
24
I shoulda never left korea. Even though I was 10 years old and my parents forced me to go to Canada, I should've just ran way. I shouldve just fucking did anything to stop them from sending me here. Maybe I wouldn't have been raped and neglected without family or friends by myself living in a foreign country when I didn't even know the goddamn alphabets.
If I could change one thing it would be not moving to Canada when I was a kid. The year we arrived here was the year I was sexually abused. It killed me, stopped me from becoming the man I was meant to be. I'm just a dead person
fuck. I'm so fucking sorry. This hits too close to home. I don't even know who i am I never really did. I'm so sorry my friend♡
 
dextrcotine

dextrcotine

New Member
Nov 18, 2024
4
For me it would be getting treatment for ADHD a decade before I did. My life would have been so so so so much better.
 
motherofmahesh

motherofmahesh

Member
Nov 20, 2024
7
I would go stop myself from dropping out of college for love
 
Valhala

Valhala

Student
Jul 30, 2024
160
I would go back a year and I would never let her go, I would never leave her and I would never break up with her.