FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,732
If I could back in time i would have told my 25 year old year old self not to leave the building with that 55 year old man at work.

Two years ago in November 2022 I met the 55 year old man and feel in love with him. I thought he was this nice and fun guy who really liked me. I met him on my first week of work at one of the company's offices in London. The office day our boss had a meeting with everyone and then afterwards the boss allowed us to either continue working or mix with other people.

I had to complete so e learning packs my workplace gave me these were things on health and safety, bribery laws because working in an organisation that provides housing is open for lobbying snd corruption, equality and diversity policies and procedures and just information about the company I needed to know working there. I decided to talk to some colleagues and then told them I needed to complete my e learning packs thats when I met the man. He told me to forget about those and come hang out with all the colleagues.

I decided to go on a walk outside with the man and another male work colleague. We ended up at the imperial War Museum because the man knew a route to museum from the workplace. London is well connected. We had so much fun and I enjoyed myself because I never really had friends to do things with. We made it back on time for lunch.

When we made our way back in the work building I thanked the man for all the fun and he told me " the fun hasn't even started ". I thought this was going to be a great place to work and then he began to communicate with me at work, he made me feel so special and seen while my boys my own age ignored me which was why i fel, in love with him. This man I fall in love with ends being a two faced gaslighting coward who was dishonest with me about his complex relationship status, goes on to break my heart, sabotaging me in the workplace and humiliating me in the process with the assistance of our boss who is his friend. and my so called woman "friend" at work too.

Here is the full story : https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-he-has-permanently-messed-up-my-head.172481/

I never used to understand why he changed towards me the minute I worked out his complex relationship status he concealed from me and when I told him that even though I was in love with him I am happy for his relationship and wished him well. He knew I was ready to move on from him. I blamed myself for everything. My grandmother said at the time "
"He did like you and it was case if I can't have you no one else can." I thought her suggestion was ridiculous but now I understand what she meant.

If you could go back in time and prevent 1 mistake from ruining your life which would it be ?
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
179
Quitting college wrestling, hands down
 
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M

manic

dead again
Nov 8, 2024
35
meeting a man i wasnt supposed to probably
 
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PlannedforPeru

PlannedforPeru

SaSu. Lurker
Sep 21, 2024
138
Back in time? I'd give my parents a condom, morning after pill, pull all the stops.

But seriously though, I'm sorry that dude led you on. He was surely old enough to know you were growing quite attached to him and to do that with the baggage he had was just shitty. Btw I read a few of your stories and your grandma seems like a gem.

If I had to go back in time in my lifetime I'd go back to sophmore year of highschool where the Chemistry teacher proposed the question "Should we ban Dihydrogen Monoxide? It is the cause of deaths for hundreds a year." Nobody picked the side of no, I should have picked no.
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

Waiting for my next window of opportunity
Mar 9, 2024
1,008
Without hesitation, I'd stop myself from developing an eating disorder. There is not one part of my life it hasn't touched -- or more accurately, ruined. I don't know how to live with it but I also don't know how to live without it. (Which I'm sure you can relate to @FireFox).
 
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vanillamilkshakes

vanillamilkshakes

Aspiring Corpse
Aug 26, 2024
434
Choosing better people to surround myself with
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,705
i would have to go all the way back to 2015-2016 i would of never listen to music with headphone on they damaged both my ears and caused a brain injury
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,755
I'd have to go back further and beg my parents not to have children. Tell my Mum to wear sunscreen and not sunbathe so much because she's destined for skin cancer and death in a few years otherwise.

Most of the shit in my life was either impossible for me to prevent or, it would have been extremely difficult to dodge.

The second major issue- I could have been honest with my Dad from the start and told him I didn't want him to re-marry because it put me in contact with a (suspected) narcissist who initially caused my ideation. I knew and know that would have ruined his happiness though. Maybe I would have said- marry who you want but, I don't want to live with you. That would have upset him too though.

There have definitely been other 'mistakes' I've made. I chose the wrong degree initially. I went through over a decade of awful limerence. I could have done with knowing the term earlier on- that may have helped. None of that stuff was as devastating as the earlier stuff though. I don't think there was a way for me to dodge my bullets in life. It would have been better if my parents hadn't offered me up as a target to begin with.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,119
There isn't really anything that I can go back in time to do. My life has been fucked by me having autism and by me being incompatible with life, not by doing a specific mistake
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,245
Meeting the man that assaulted me and caused my stroke
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,732
Meeting the man that assaulted me and caused my stroke
@divinemistress36 enormous virtual hug you deserved so much better. One of the worst things about life we no amount of psychology can ever help us understand why people are so cruel towards others without any care or remorse for their actions.
meeting a man i wasnt supposed to probably
@manic It's so scary how meeting someone can either change your life forever either in a good way or bad way

Meeting that old man in the workplace forever changed me as a person what made it worse before I met him at 25 years old my life was beginning to get better. For the first time I was happy in my life and looking forward to the future.

I was finally growing confident in myself then this lying POS came along and took that away from me. My family don't understand why I can't move on. My family have no idea how I felt on top of the world at 25 years old and no longer that person who always scared of the future

That man forever changed me. I am naturally socialable person but now I am scared to make friends at work, I now ask more questions about the backgrounds of guys I like, I am always going to have to live with the embarrassment of falling in love with an older man all because he gave me attention while guys own age ignored me.

I never tell my future husband what i went through.
Back in time? I'd give my parents a condom, morning after pill, pull all the stops.

But seriously though, I'm sorry that dude led you on. He was surely old enough to know you were growing quite attached to him and to do that with the baggage he had was just shitty. Btw I read a few of your stories and your grandma seems like a gem.

If I had to go back in time in my lifetime I'd go back to sophmore year of highschool where the Chemistry teacher proposed the question "Should we ban Dihydrogen Monoxide? It is the cause of deaths for hundreds a year." Nobody picked the side of no, I should have picked no.
@PlannedforPeru If you answered no in the class the teacher would have been worried and next thing you know a meeting with your parents. You will be surprised how some teachers alarm bells ring quickly if you say something that concerns them.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,609
Rmv injury damage this 1, go see girl this 2
 
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kunikuzushi

kunikuzushi

sause
Jan 24, 2023
294
Being born. I've been miserable every day since my earliest memory.
 
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PlannedforPeru

PlannedforPeru

SaSu. Lurker
Sep 21, 2024
138
If you answered no in the class the teacher would have been worried and next thing you know a meeting with your parents. You will be surprised how some teachers alarm bells ring quickly if you say something that concerns them.
Maybe it would've been alarming with the added context of being suicidal but lol no it's since the compound in question is water, we all voted yes to ban water.
 
Just_Another_Person

Just_Another_Person

Experienced
Sep 16, 2024
203
Being created. Not even the conception should occur.
 
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cryptoinvestor

Student
Jul 12, 2024
132
if i could go back, it would be right back to the moment i entered the world,coming out my mamas stank pussy, i would wrap my umbilical cord around my neck tight enough
 
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NegevChina

NegevChina

Experienced
Sep 5, 2024
238
I was born damaged, had childhood traumas, Im sorry i wasnt killed in the first trauma. That was when my "friend" pushed me from behind and made me fall from 2.5 m and caused me a fractured scull and collar bone. Few more incidents that could have ended with me dying but i was "lucky" to survive and im so so sorry i did and somehow reached 57. I need to CTB by myself now.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,126
I wish I had the luxury of having parents who did not plan to have me thus making it easier to prevent my own birth. As it stands the only way I could do that when traveling to the past would be by killing either one of my parents or at least preventing them from getting together somehow.

But in terms of my own life, I guess I would probably go back to September of 2015 and force myself of the past to either be more forward with the coworker who was interested in me at the time or to turn her down entirely to save myself from that heartbreak sooner. Knowing me I'd probably choose the former option which is still a fair bit messier and would not guarantee a better outcome for me. I wasted almost my entire 20s ruminating on what could have been with her all because she gave me a chance but I was too slow to realize it at the time and by the time I was ready it was too late and she got with someone else. This moment was also the point where I realized just how evil I am and so I decided to double down on it and let hatred consume me. I'm only just now in the process of starting to begin to commence planning the blueprints of letting go of this hatred of mine but after so long it definitely wasn't worth all those wasted years. It was also terrible for all the people I've hurt along the way with my cruelty.

Maybe instead I'll just go back to any point in my timeline and shoot the me from then.
 
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L'absent

L'absent

À ma manière 🪦
Aug 18, 2024
680
I couldn't do anything. Life is a mass of dissatisfaction and pain, there is no way out. The human error has always been to fill one's existence with the economy of the ego. We are only servants of the species and serve only to adapt the DNA to the environment through our sacrifice. This is hell. What would you like to change when you go back? Nothing can be changed.
 
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S

spiraloutdeath

Member
Jun 10, 2024
37
DO NOT TRUST DOCTORS AND TAKE PRENDISONE

This drug took a person who loved life had an amazing job .. great health into an ogre

- severe mental health
- fat gain like nothing you could imagine packing the face, neck, chest, stomach, thighs calves with dense unmovable fat
- extrem muscle wasting
- bone necrosis
- loose skin and wrinkles
- liver issues
- rapid aging

FUK THIS DRUG!!!!
 
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CantDoIt

Elementalist
Jul 18, 2024
820
I would go back to 12 and start wearing sunscreen, hats, and sunglasses. Skin is totally ruined and was before mid 20s because I was so depressed that I never worse sun protection even though my parents were obsessed with making me be outdoors.

Then I would also not start eating junk food like crazy and let my weight drop at 21 and would learn to manage stress better earlier. Basically, take my health seriously as my appearance is ruined. Ironically because I was too depressed to care about my appearance.
 
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star.trip

star.trip

Student
Oct 6, 2024
154
Traveling to the past is impossible. If I could I would avoid my parents having met, or avoid the moment I was conceived. I would have avoided having a hellish childhood and adolescence where I was to blame for everything, and received physical and psychological abuse. I took refuge in my studies and avoided social relationships for fear of being hurt.
 
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O

ontheBOTA

-
Nov 2, 2024
2
There's nothing that could salvage it.

It's a butterfly effect situation where i think trying to fix one thing would create something worse.

Im ridden with childhood ptsd, i dont even know what's the original one or if it could even be helped.

But i guess one thing is i would explain my adhd ass the consequences of not brushing your teeth
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,870
I would go as far back as before I was born (I wasn't sentient before, but for the sake of this question, I will pre-suppose that hypothetically I could - not to get too complicated with paradoxes and time traveling rabbit holes). If I had the ability to, ensure I was never born because all my suffering and problems with life, albeit some fleeting periods of tolerable sentience and some fleeting moments of joy and pleasure do NOT outweigh the overall majority of sentient mundanity and times of intense suffering during the more than three decades of unwanted sentience that I am currently bearing through.

Of course, realistically that would not happen, and on a more realistic note, I would have just decided not to take the path I did in life and instead, just took the money I had for college and put that towards just doing something that would sustain my financial needs, maybe get into crypto early (think like 2010 or something) and then after that, lived comfortably and perhaps even have financial freedom to pursue some of my goals earlier in life. Then if things went to shit, at least I have more means or options to CTB.
 
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A

affirmatice

Student
Aug 31, 2024
142
Taking care of my teeth as a young kid- or rather having parents who cared enough to make sure I did and didn't let me consume tons of soda and sweets. All damage was done before I turned 14 years old.

I have no desire to continue living in this state. Most people with decent teeth probably haven't considered how difficult life can be when they're damaged.

can't smile, can't laugh, can't eat food without fear, can't feel confident. This isn't a journey I want to go through. What options do I have left? Paying 30,000$ for veneers or other restorative dentistry that probably will give me tons of body dysmorphia and still shame. Still will live in fear of eating since fake teeth are never as strong as real teeth. And then even if all goes well, it'll need to be done all over again in 10-15 years.

So… yea. I can't even blame myself since my parents never even bothered to establish the habit and just let me show up to school, dirty, teeth unbrushed ever since I was in kindergarten.

I lost one of the most important parts of my health and appearance at a young age. I have no desire to "overcome" this.

I want to see my girlfriend for Christmas and spend some last days in her arms. Sometimes after the new year, I'll probably be gone. Thanks mom and dad!
 
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11April

11April

11.04.2015 ❤️
Jan 9, 2023
74
I would try to build a relationship with that girl again, who is still the only source of true happiness in my life. I would try to understand what exactly in me she finds so unpleasant, and I would try to fix it in myself.

Even then, 10 years ago, I understood that I was losing her, but I couldn't do anything about it. Perhaps I would have been more decisive if I had known how bad it would be for me without her in the future. I didn't know then that her absence in my life could break me so much, divide my life into before and after.

In general, I would just try to do again what I had already done, but with a clear understanding of what my mistakes would cost me. Although, probably, I would have failed again. There is something in me that she finds unpleasant. And, apparently, I can't change it in any way 😔
 
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flashoflight

New Member
Nov 7, 2024
4
Just getting married was my biggest mistake. If could not even have met my wife who is now divorcing me and taking everything I ever worked for in my entire life, that would be my dream. Knowing she doesn't give a shit after 13 year of marriage is enough to push me over the edge alone.
 
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theolivanderroach

theolivanderroach

but, what ends when the symbols shatter?
Sep 20, 2024
121
I'd spike my moms drink with abortion pills
 
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lnlybnny

lnlybnny

the art of being alone
Jan 25, 2024
528
would ask my father to wear a condom
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,732
Just getting married was my biggest mistake. If could not even have met my wife who is now divorcing me and taking everything I ever worked for in my entire life, that would be my dream. Knowing she doesn't give a shit after 13 year of marriage is enough to push me over the edge alone.
@flashoflight You deserved so much better. Its so painful to love and care about someone so much and have that person never appreciate anything you did for them. We can never understand how someone can be so selfish and feel no pain for hurting the person that cared and loved them.

I was not dating that old man but I loved him so much. When he was so upset he was spending Christmas alone at home I sent him a Christmas card at work to make him feel better, l always asked how he was doing and genuinely cared about him

What hurts the most for me was not his rejection of me but the pure disrespect he showed me and then treating me like a stranger. All the kindness I showed him he completely forgot all that when I was no longer of use to him.

He got everything he wanted. Me gone from the workplace and reunited with the woman he loves. This arsehole has been on and off with his partner for over 20 years. When he is not with his partner he gets with other women including in the company and dumps them like trash when he is back with his partner.

I hope that arsehole dies all alone in care home. I have been in pain for over year because that man. Since February last year I was in nothing but pain over the way he treated me. I couldn't even cry because I was in shock the man I loved so much and thought was a nice guy turned out to be lying entilted piece of shit.
 
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