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Placo
Life and Death
- Feb 14, 2024
- 902
However, it is certainly difficult to understand where depression ends and clear reasoning begins; that is, understanding whether this thought of being a lost case is the result of the disease or is it a clear thought that one has knowing that one has the disease, I hope I have explained myself well.
Tesha
Life too shall pass
- May 31, 2020
- 927
I wish it was good. Just morning. Sigh.really hot today
felt kind of dizzy todayAttachments
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Thx for asking! I'm ok so far. Nothing seems to disturb the tranquility here - I hope that stays the way it is.
Hbu?I'm ok, trying to focus. Tomorrow I'm going swimming again
HighFlight
Global mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 723
Good morning @stillunemployed
@arnxxx, how is the ketamine working for you?took sooo many photos today
like sooooooo many, lolAttachments
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lita-lassi
let me spell it out for you: go to hell
- Sep 25, 2023
- 614
ran away from my problems for a while. might keep running. or snuff it, who knows
HighFlight
Global mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 723
The pictures are nice. I took a selfie.
Tesha
Life too shall pass
- May 31, 2020
- 927
Hello everyone. Need to vent, not after sympathy - I've tested positive for Covid… for the fifth time… it wipes me completely out every single time.
On the plus side, it means I can't taste my own shite cooking.
lita-lassi
let me spell it out for you: go to hell
- Sep 25, 2023
- 614
i was stuck on the couch unable to mane for like 10 days when i got it and it took so long to recover from properly. that sucks so hard you keep getting it, i can't imagine 5x oof
wishing you as a speedy recovery as possible
also good afternoon, i just got out of therapy and boy are my eyes tiredgood morning
going swimming again today, probably the last time this year
HighFlight
Global mod
- Jun 28, 2023
- 723
Good morning. But why is this the last time this year you're going swimming.
OMG! 5 times!?!? I hope this time you can recovery quickly.
BurgundySnap
Sick of being sick
- Jul 19, 2023
- 76
Hello all,
Tonight, I feel abysmal. How silly in a way, that I saw a child in a video advertisement and saw my dead friend in him. I swear, he looked just like him, down to the clothes and face shape. It was like I was seeing him alive one more time, and he looked so happy. It feels so silly from an outside perspective that something so random can flood memories back into you. It felt comforting in a way to know someone's kid is growing up happy and well at least.
I just have so many thoughts, swirling in my head, about my friend right now. I know the memories were good, at least. It does not stop it from hurting a lot anyway. My mind is just turned to static and I am shaking really hard. I know it will pass though. One day it will not hurt so much like this.
I hope we can treat ourselves well. All of your pictures are amazing to see, it is fantastic to know all of that is really outside. They are honestly like shots from movies...
@Tesha , I am also sending you well wishes for a speedy recovery from this. It is awful how often you have gotten sick...And I am sure your cooking is not that bad! @stillunemployed , swimming sounds very fun! Was it maybe the last time due to weather?
It seems abrupt to say it now, but
Take care
I'm sorry you have covid for the 5th time. That must be so awful. I hope you don't suffer long-covid.
May I ask how you caught it? I hope you have speedy recovery!
@stillunemployed y swimming for the last time this year? Summer just started?!
@BurgundySnap
Tesha
Life too shall pass
- May 31, 2020
- 927
Thanks all. I currently sound like I've been smoking 60 a day for 50 years. This really is the worst I've felt during any of my Covid bouts. Needless to say, I'm not being allowed to admit to the trauma clinic until I test negative. I did have to fend my community team off yesterday as they were wanting to send paramedics round as my oxygen was dropping into the high 80's, (un)fortunately it's creeping back up now.
As to how I got it - who knows… I guess I'm blessed with Covid friendly genetics! The first time I contracted it, I was actually an inpatient in a psych hospital in April 2020 - when everyone thought it was an almost certain death sentence. Sadly it wasn't…
@BurgundySnap I know from my CPTSD that suddenly seeing someone who reminds you of your past can be unsettling and hard to accept. Please take time for yourself; grieving never really stops, you just learn to ride the waves.went swimming again today, probably for the last time this year
Storms are coming. That lake has very cold water, very hard to swim in it, unless it's during a heat wave like this week. There is going to be a temperature drop next week and lots of rain.
Discipline.
I would love your cooking, i find that i could eat anything.
moar pothos
moar pothosAttachments
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lita-lassi
let me spell it out for you: go to hell
- Sep 25, 2023
- 614
good morning, we win another weekend!Burden & boundaries.
Another confused attempt at putting words to venting something I've had rattling round my head more significantly for a few days that I get popping up whenever there's thoughts to do with reconnecting with my past lives/those I have been ghosting for 1-2 years now.
Say I was to try reconnecting - well, I don't ever know what I'm saying/meaning. Its even taken 2 years to have a therapist (someone supposedly trained/familiar/professional with folk who are all over the place and adapting to them) who vaguely can finally - for the first time in my life - understand me - often reading between the lines and picking up on various expressions/sign language interpretations when I totally lose my words - not something I can explain in a brief 'intro'. Even then I still have no clue and the body language reading is more to help de-escalate me getting super frustrated with myself for losing my words and feeling like wasting such limited time.
One of the main reasons for 'running away' was getting overwhelmed by people offering an ear etc but me not having words or understanding. That then caused 'impatience' and a sort of increased pressure for me to 'open up' and 'safe space' and 'don't bottle' etc. these were people I knew well and/or liked and/or thought I trusted. But I can't trust me. Which has got worse and worse as I have got older and stick out more now where I can't just bounce between social crowds or seasonal existences so anonymously getting away with acquaintances/lesser relationships. 30s 'should' be more settled.
The whole 'talk to a professional' is well and good but so limited to just 50mins a week. The other end is ranting nonstop to a friend - being a clear burden. But you also hear about people being advised to have boundaries when supporting friends/family to look after themselves. In my mind does that then just highlight being a burden - that noone can physically be there to vent to/try making sense with 'on demand' chats - needing to draw a line somewhere. So its not worth opening up the conversation to even try because the line has to be drawn somewhere - a weird game of chicken. Do I bail as a 'burden' before they withdraw with 'boundaries'? Basically a never-win scenario, always on eggshells.Sorry, I can't help anyone today.
I need to know how can I grieve properly. Ended a relationship too abruptly, and I've kinda been in shock for too long. Every time I need to move on, I regress back to denial, that it can't be happening, etc. I want to man this up and get over it.
Would mass-venting here help? You can always create your own thread to rant all you want there, it's very common in The Sanctuary. You can in your profile as well.
Oh that sounds brutal at your end. Wish I could offer some words of suggestion back to you. I'll send a (with consent) big hug.
Thanks for reading and your thought and ideas. You have helped - you've read/listened, which means a lot to me.
I tried venting on my profile a load a few months back but I find it just spirals me more where I pick more and more holes in what I am thinking. And made even less sense than if stopping to think and trying to communicate something to the 'wider world' not just ranting to myself stuff I already know but can't work out. I also feel like I need some sort of external input to try and even attempt making sense. Which isn't so viable.
The ball of string analogy is often used with therapy 'helping to untangle and organise thoughts'. But I feel like mine is a ball of elastic - everything goes straight back to how it was no matter how good a particular session feels with 'progress' - unless the next session was virtually right away, thats too much time and I ruminate/over analyse all over back to the beginning. But I think the best description is 'consistently inconsistent' - no matter how I try to understand or use logic or pick up on patterns, all theories are busted before long at all.Similar threads
