"I'd like to feel a bit better/ I'd like to recover" Support Group Megathread

[Blackswede]

I feel like shit but I know it's just temporary. I'm on Zoloft and I was doing good at 100mg but not as good as I would like. So my doctor adjusted my dosage to 150mg. Now, it's only been like two weeks but I'm still in the adjustment period which is causing dark thoughts and feelings. I have to wait like 3 more weeks before the effects kick in and depending on how it goes, I may not have a need to be on here anymore. But that's not a guarantee and I'm unsure that even if it does work better then 100mg, will it fill me 100%? But I'm holding on for now!

 

[HighFlight]

But I'm holding on for now!

Welcome, and continue to hold on to that hope. There will be times when it is all you have. The various drugs effect people in different ways. As a result, it is more trial and error until would find something that works for you.

 

[HighFlight]

Welcome, @Cavalcade!

Although it often feels like it, you are not alone. I'm glad you took a chance on the thread, and hope you will be able to connect with people on the site struggling with similar issues. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond.

I am one of those people who also struggles with social isolation. My job is remote, and I can go days without directly interacting with any coworker or client. Immediate family feels more like co-inhabitants than loved ones. And I have no irl friends.

Similar to you, I leaned into this site about a year and a half ago, and after hearing from so many others and what they've gone through, decided it was worth sticking around.

It's great that you are doing things to take care of yourself. This is so easily ignored, but is critical to any recovery. Keep this going, and hopefully you'll be ready to dance around to Chromeo.

In addition to taking care of yourself, it's also important to be kind to yourself.

I hope that you can find a little peace along your journey.

 

[Night_Crew]

Hello everyone.

I'm really, really struggling today. It may/may not be my birthday today and I feel like such a complete failure.

It may or may not be my birthday. Due to maladaptive coping mechanisms and debt, I'm relatively old but still living at home. I dread going outside as I do not like people to see me and how pathetic I am. I would have CTB'd a while ago, but have agreed (with myself) I will only do when my mum dies so as to not cause her pain.

I'm chronically lonely, but am aware I'm not ready for any form of a relationship with such debt and living circumstances.

Is there any techniques you can share to help me pass time beyond sleeping?

 

[Electra]

Hi everyone,
I've been a little bit on a rollercoaster of anxiety. Sometimes it's manageable, other days - sends me into a full-blown panic attack. I also keep waking up at night, they're like palimpsests of disturbed night rest. Not sure what to do about them, since they keep happening separately from my daily experienced anxiety levels. I do still believe there's a connection there because the alternative of unknown cause of disrupted sleep disturbs me more.
Best wishes for everyone here ️

 

[ZarskoV]

hi everyone!
I've been lurking for a while. I just wanted to wish you all the best

 

[HighFlight]

Hi @Night_Crew, Happy belated maybe-Birthday. :) I hope today was a little better for you.

Birthdays have always made me take stock in my life, and often I come up wanting. I watch others and am amazed at the things they can do. This holds true for this community as well. I am often blown away by the artistic skill and technical knowledge members bring to the threads. So, I don't believe that any one is a "failure" even if you feel like one at the moment.

It's nice that you are taking your mum's feelings into consideration. But it can be difficult solely living for other people's happiness. I know, as I am doing myself - my mother, my sick wife, and 2 adult children who as unable to get started on their adulthood. While it's important to consider others, it's equally important to consider yourself. (No, this is not a suggestion to go ctb; but merely a reminder that it's important to take care of yourself as well.)

What sort of things do you enjoy doing?

@Electra, I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety. My child has panic attack and has been prescribed Clonidine to take when they feel one starting. They're also on Wellbutrin daily, which has helped their depression. What has your doctor said about them, especially with the problems with sleeping? I would hope they might be able to help, but don't know the specifics of your situation.


This time of year is supposed to be joyous, as we surround ourselves with friends and family. Christmas is my wife's favorite holiday. She will bake cookies, cook a Christmas dinner, and make sure there's gifts for everyone. This year however, she will be limited in what she can do, as she received her cancer diagnosis and will begin chemo within a week. As I said before, I am living for others and I know she will need me to get through this. I only hope I am strong enough.

For everyone else, including lurkers like @ZarskoV :), I hope you can find a reason to enjoy this holiday season.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

For everyone else, including lurkers like @ZarskoV :), I hope you can find a reason to enjoy this holiday season.

Thanks!

I also hope everyone can enjoy the holiday season as best as possible!

 

[Electra]

@HighFlight I wish you and your family the best. Hopefully everything will be okay. In the end everything has to be ok, if it's not okay now - it's not the end.

About sleeping, I do have some suggestions from my doc. If it gets really bad - I take some meds, but I really want to try and have a good nights sleep without the need for medication. At the moment - that ain't happening, but maybe some day. My next visit is in January, I'll express my concerns to her abt sleep and see what she will suggest.

 

[DumbWays2Die]

Update: Went on a "date", and the girl later clarifies that she doesn't have any interest in dating atm. But I understand from the context she doesn't have any interest in dating ME. Meh, life goes on, though I am a bit sad about it, ngl. I thought we clicked. Fuck my genes (no offence to my parents). Or it's probably just me being Tom, and she being Summer.

Planning to go to Nepal for the Three Passes Trek probably around April. Treks are the only things I look forward to nowadays. And if HAPE or HACE does its job, no one will be any wiser.

 

[Adûnâi]

I've had another retarded convo with my retarded mom. I would never talk to her, but she's the only person with whom I can use my voice, so I'm forced to endure her. Of course, it's only a phone call, and I just whine to her, but I still hate her. Like this time I've told her that I hate and envy her because she's a privileged piece of shit because she can just emigrate to her beloved Canary Islands whereas I can't even go outside because I'm male and thus persecuted.

Also, I'm a pagan, so making he suffer on Christmas is a good deed.

Update: Went on a "date", and the girl later clarifies that she doesn't have any interest in dating atm. But I understand from the context she doesn't have any interest in dating ME.

I'm terribly sorry! People say, females are cruel to females, but males get cruel treatment from both sexes, and much crueller (I'm literally under a threat from death for being biological male). But on the bright side, you did get some experience, that's something!

 

[ZarskoV]

I've had another retarded convo with my retarded mom. I would never talk to her, but she's the only person with whom I can use my voice, so I'm forced to endure her. Of course, it's only a phone call, and I just whine to her, but I still hate her. Like this time I've told her that I hate and envy her because she's a privileged piece of shit because she can just emigrate to her beloved Canary Islands whereas I can't even go outside because I'm male and thus persecuted.

Also, I'm a pagan, so making he suffer on Christmas is a good deed.


I'm terribly sorry! People say, females are cruel to females, but males get cruel treatment from both sexes, and much crueller (I'm literally under a threat from death for being biological male). But on the bright side, you did get some experience, that's something!

I'm so sorry... Why are you under threat for being male? I hope you overcome this terrible situation. Sending love to you and to everyone who reads this

 

[mageSaSu]

Having a really hard time processing the trauma that im facing in my life right now, hope everyone else is doing well today

 

[Electra]

Having a really hard time processing the trauma that im facing in my life right now, hope everyone else is doing well today

I'm so sorry to hear, I hope it'll get better for you <3
I personally feel sad today, because I was supposed spend NYE with friends and I got sick, so now I feel like I let them down, and I let down myself too. It shouldn't be such a setback for me, but it is. It feels like it is. Maybe I'm taking this too harshly, but it really ruined my mood.
For anyone else reading - all the best to you, hope you're having a wonderful day!

 

[olvidame]

I have made the decision to resign from my job. For my entire life, I have struggled with an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. That ends today. Once I finish writing this post, I will take the important step of scheduling an appointment with a professional who can provide a diagnosis and the medication I so desperately need. I have battled the demons within my mind for far too long, and while I have won many of those battles, the weight of these prolonged struggles has taken a heavy toll. I am tired of fighting. I simply want to live. To my fellow brothers and sisters, stay strong and keep persevering. We deserve the chance to live fully.

 

[ZarskoV]

I'm so sorry to hear, I hope it'll get better for you <3
I personally feel sad today, because I was supposed spend NYE with friends and I got sick, so now I feel like I let them down, and I let down myself too. It shouldn't be such a setback for me, but it is. It feels like it is. Maybe I'm taking this too harshly, but it really ruined my mood.
For anyone else reading - all the best to you, hope you're having a wonderful day!

You are not alone. I spoke with two friends to go out this night, but I am not feeling good today. I feel even worse because I don't want to let them down me neither. In fact, a few days ago I promised myself to celebrate the New Year. I shouldn't be surprised: I'm pathetic at keeping promises. Anyways, I don't know what to do... I have only four hours left, even less, to take a decision, as I live in Spain and passed that time it'll be 2025.
I hope things get better for you, Electra, and for everybody else. Happy New Year

 

[Electra]

You are not alone. I spoke with two friends to go out this night, but I am not feeling good today. I feel even worse because I don't want to let them down me neither. In fact, a few days ago I promised myself to celebrate the New Year. I shouldn't be surprised: I'm pathetic at keeping promises. Anyways, I don't know what to do... I have only four hours left, even less, to take a decision, as I live in Spain and passed that time it'll be 2025.
I hope things get better for you, Electra, and for everybody else. Happy New Year

It's comforting knowing I'm not alone. I feel a bit sad right now and alienated, but for different reasons. Anyway, I hope whatever you chose - you spent your New Years happily.

 

[HighFlight]

I have made the decision to resign from my job. For my entire life, I have struggled with an undiagnosed and untreated mental illness. That ends today. Once I finish writing this post, I will take the important step of scheduling an appointment with a professional who can provide a diagnosis and the medication I so desperately need. I have battled the demons within my mind for far too long, and while I have won many of those battles, the weight of these prolonged struggles has taken a heavy toll. I am tired of fighting. I simply want to live. To my fellow brothers and sisters, stay strong and keep persevering. We deserve the chance to live fully.

Welcome and congratulations on taking the necessary steps to recovery. I've lived a lifetime with those demons - they been around since middle school. But in the late 70's, mental health wasn't discussed. It was just part of your personality. For me, it wasn't until about 5 years ago when the flood gates opened. Came close to a ctb attempt alone in a hotel room. Lost my job. Found a new one with a more toxic environment.

I've sought the help you are looking for and have had several diagnosis - ADHD, Depression, GAD, Social Anxiety, PTSD, etc. I work with a therapist weekly, and have too many meds. But I'm somewhat functional. If I could only get my confidence back. :( But life likes to find ways to block that from happening for me. So the struggle continues...

Hopefully, you have not followed in my footsteps and are seeking help much earlier in life. Don't give up until you get the answers you are looking for. I wish you all the best, and know you can defy gravity if you put your mind to it.

But regardless, I hope that you will find some peace along your journey.

 

[HighFlight]

@olvidame - Is you profile pic and the attachment to your post original art? They are very good. If you feel up for it, I would like to see some more.

 

[Night_Crew]

Hello everyone. I've been really, really struggling over the past couple of weeks. I'm experiencing chronic waves of what I can only describe as despair with despondency. I have absolutely no friends and am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I'm pretty sure my depression has worsened and I'm definitely what could be described as chronically lonely.

What if anything has helped someone else here crawl away from their rock bottom?

 

[fairykitty]

Hello everyone. I've been really, really struggling over the past couple of weeks. I'm experiencing chronic waves of what I can only describe as despair with despondency. I have absolutely no friends and am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I'm pretty sure my depression has worsened and I'm definitely what could be described as chronically lonely.

What if anything has helped someone else here crawl away from their rock bottom?

You're not alone i was just about to come here to comment the exact same thing. i'm not really sure what to do either because im pretty much at rock bottom too but i hope for only good things for you… we will find true friends some day

for now while i'm alone im going to cling to the little things in life that no one person can ever take away.. like animals and nature. it's the only thing i can think to do. the only time i feel normal is when i can feel fresh air and it's so fucking hard when i hate leaving the house

 

[MoonBat]

I'm finally pushing myself to get in touch with a therapist after an intervention with my mom, she is worried about me, turning 23 later this year without any aim or goals. My recovery of my mental health is my primary goal, but things like a job or physical health would be good along the way. This said, I was wondering if anyone here has used that little "Find a Therapist" option on Psychology Today? My mom is pushing me to reach out to counselling and therapy, putting emphasis on it as a make or break and showed me this website in particular. Personally I think that Psychology Today news site is a bit... clickbaity, but I've been telling myself I need to be less of a cynic and be more trusting of others. Is that way of finding a therapist reliable?

 

[fairykitty]

I'm finally pushing myself to get in touch with a therapist after an intervention with my mom, she is worried about me, turning 23 later this year without any aim or goals. My recovery of my mental health is my primary goal, but things like a job or physical health would be good along the way. This said, I was wondering if anyone here has used that little "Find a Therapist" option on Psychology Today? My mom is pushing me to reach out to counselling and therapy, putting emphasis on it as a make or break and showed me this website in particular. Personally I think that Psychology Today news site is a bit... clickbaity, but I've been telling myself I need to be less of a cynic and be more trusting of others. Is that way of finding a therapist reliable?

it is a reliable site!! just please be sure to pick a therapist that would suit your needs best, like if you need someone who is trauma informed (bc a lot are not). it's how i found my therapist
good luck!! you can do it :)

edit to add: make sure you have a therapy in mind that you think may work for you, for example EMDR or IFS / CBT / DBT, and make sure the person you pick is well versed if not a specialist in that therapy

 

[cali22♡]

it is a reliable site!! just please be sure to pick a therapist that would suit your needs best, like if you need someone who is trauma informed (bc a lot are not). it's how i found my therapist
good luck!! you can do it :)

edit to add: make sure you have a therapy in mind that you think may work for you, for example EMDR or IFS / CBT / DBT, and make sure the person you pick is well versed if not a specialist in that therapy

I love your name and your profile pic...

 

[HighFlight]

@cali22♡ - I'm glad you're here. I hope you are doing OK.

 

[lita-lassi]

been a while, wishing everyone here the best in their recovery journeys mines been pretty crap but i found out 2nd hand my abusive ex has been "harassed" and has broken bones (the least he deserves) and if i have to take my joy from some assholes misery, its going to be his

no im not normally this grim or callous sounding but do trust i have my reasons

@HighFlight @Praestat_Mori @ConfusedClouds and other regulars, good to see you again and some extra your ways

 

[altkey]

life has been a roller-coaster since I've last posted on this thread, learned some things about some people I know and just as a whole learned about people and the truth about how they are, I think the worse has passed now, I am feeling a bit better these days, slowly, but surely, maybe I have a chance of recovery

 

[Marsoff]

Hello, I am an Aspie guy from Argentina and I need mental help. I rarely visit that page unless I am too hopeless.

 

[Greyhawk]

Hi, I hope everyone is doing well. I originally joined this forum to research about SN or find an alternative method to kill myself but didn't end up doing it being the coward I am and after feeling the pain what my cousin's suicide brought to me and my family. I got diagnosed with bipolar II and I'm seeing a therapist finally in 2 weeks. I feel some hope for the first time after months of being depressed and want to get better. I want to find purpose for my life again.

 

[Marsoff]

Let me tell you. I am still pissed at the DMV, they told me to wait 6 more months.