I'd CTB right now if I had the means

[Danby]

I'm at the end of my rope. After a few months where life didn't suck too bad, a bunch of stuff happened all at once--I got laid off, getting divorced, selling the house, and my soon-to-be-ex was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm just overwhelmed and depressed . . . been looking for a job but so far nothing. My severance is about expended. The house is going up for sale in two weeks and there's so much to do. I don't know where I'll be in a couple months. I already suffer from depression and all this isn't helping.

I've tried to CTB before--tried hanging but couldn't get it to work. Also tried the night night method, but could never get that to work either. First the beanbags and then the socks kept slipping out. If I had a gun I'd have done it by now, but I live in California so it isn't easy to get firearms. I'd send away for a shotgun, but my soon-to-be-ex monitors the finances and she'd find out before it got here. I just want the pain to end . . . and I want it to be quick. I had ruled out jumping off a building as I don't want to think about it on the way down. But now I'm not so sure.

 

[depressedinsomniac]

premature...at least job search a little...i know things seems grim but maybe you will make something off of the selling of the house? keep looking for work. Don't do anything rash. Personally I see daylight here in what you are describing. You got laid off right not fired? So you should be good if you ask me. Just hit the applications hard!

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to be free from the pain and suffering of existing, I always wish there's the option to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. But anyway I wish you the best.