Venting I win the worst 2025 award

[bubblebunny]

I always somehow believed life would get better for me but this year kinda proved it literally won't.

I failed uni, worried all summer about what I was gonna do next, my house literally burned down, my cat got hurt, I lost literally everything but my Apple Watch, my phone, the clothes I was wearing and some jewellery! Afterwards uni rejected me, I lost my job cause you need to be a student for it, and all this time I have this unbearable ache for love cause I've never been loved ONCE in my life. Never held, no first kiss, zero romantic milestones.

I'm already so behind with everything I'm 21 I have no milestones in anything, no qualities to use on job applications just pain. No degree or accomplishments.

It truly cannot get worse!

 

[eternalpace]

You're not the worst of 2025… Sometimes a lot of things go wrong… It doesn't mean you're defective or behind on anything. Even those people who seem to be Mr. or Miss Perfect have crap in their closets. I understand your reasons for wanting to CTB… I just didn't want you to go out of this world thinking you're a screw-up. You're not.

 

[Dejected 55]

I understand... haven't had my house burn down, but did lose a house once and am almost losing the one I'm in now.

A lot of people make the mistake of assuming you hate yourself and that all you need is more confidence or whatever... but, for me anyway, I have confidence in myself... I've just also learned over time that too many things out of my control keep happening around or to me that set me back no matter what I do... and you can't combat all those things, especially not alone all the time.

When I was in the hospital recently, they kept going over affirmations for confidence... and I waited my turn to be last in the group sessions, and then I said that wasn't my problem. If I didn't like myself and bad things happened I wouldn't be nearly as depressed because life would make sense... but I like who I am and know I have good qualities and skills to offer... but I'm alone anyway. They never had an answer for someone who likes who they are but is depressed because the world is harsh anyway.

 

[pris]

i'm so sorry. maybe now is the time to say fuck it all and become an artist-musician. it's a pretty badass backstory to me, even if it hurts now. maybe a better life can happen after leaving the university pipeline?