Venting I want to give up on everything, but I have no method at my disposal.

[sla_porra22]

Basically the title is self-explanatory. I want to practice CTB, but hanging is impossible, because I have nowhere to tie it. I live in a country that is extremely difficult to get weapons and I am broke too much to buy an exit bag. This has led me to get into street fights, walk in dangerous places and so on in the hope of being killed. Nothing works. There aren't even any buildings that I have easy access to try to jump, or anything like that. There are only two points where I could try; a bridge over a boulevard, and the subway tracks. At both I have a chance of failing. I CANNOT fail. Even thinking about killing myself wears me out.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

Genuinely sorry you're going through all this and have resorted to such ineffective methods. Have you checked the PPH in case you're able to source some of the drugs required for the methods mentioned there? Sadly not everything is available everywhere, but you may find something that'll help.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

ikr. Killing yourself is a full time job. Tell me about it. On the front page, there are all the methods you could ever need.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as all I hope for is to not exist, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again with no risks of it going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, it's so cruel to me how painless guaranteed death is made inaccessible, I suffer so much from being trapped in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[Ksavagedie]

Basically the title is self-explanatory. I want to practice CTB, but hanging is impossible, because I have nowhere to tie it. I live in a country that is extremely difficult to get weapons and I am broke too much to buy an exit bag. This has led me to get into street fights, walk in dangerous places and so on in the hope of being killed. Nothing works. There aren't even any buildings that I have easy access to try to jump, or anything like that. There are only two points where I could try; a bridge over a boulevard, and the subway tracks. At both I have a chance of failing. I CANNOT fail. Even thinking about killing myself wears me out.

You're not alone... I've been trying to figure out a way to CTB for over a year. It's exhausting. I've managed to isolate myself from friends, family and work so I could probably go 2 days without being found. I've considered jumping in front of the subway, but I know there's a risk of losing limbs and still surviving. I'm thinking it may be the only viable way now though. I'm trying to figure out a way to buy SN or Fent. I tried with pills and alcohol 10 years ago and they found me and pumped my stomach. I understand how you're feeling. I wish we could find a way to leave in a humane way. For people who experience this type of suffering, it's an isolating and misunderstood pain. People resent you for it like it's a choice.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Same boat.

What about ligature? It's hard to outlaw rope, shoelaces...