Venting I wanna die

[kinderbueno]

I can't escape my mind I'm always filled with the urge to just die. Even when I'm asleep I get nightmares because my mind loves to torture me and I cant stop it. Yes, I've tried breathing exercises, meditation and all that but it feels like nothing works. I'm a slave to my thoughts and feelings. I wish I could just fly to Peru and get N, it's so hard to exist. I'll never be good enough for society, no matter how much I try to change myself and pretend to be neurotypical, everything is just exhausting. This world is going to shit anyways, there's no point in living

 

[samdocheon]

Music and series helped me these days during this waiting time to escape a little to my throughts.

 

[cowboypants]

If it's too intolerable I'd suggest getting on meds atleast life would be somewhat manageable. I feel it's a temporary thing as it has its own issues.

DM me anytime if you want someone to talk to kinder ;)

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I frankly can't wait for these months to pass so that I can die in peace! I relate with this so much. I sometimes try to give some advice to people on here in case their situation is temporary and fixable. It often is. But even doing this sucks because I know mine isn't.

I can't order SN without risking getting caught, at least not until next year. Even then it might be risky. If jumping proves too difficult I will just book a flight to Peru.

There is point in living so long as your life can permit it. We're not in fully blown post-apocalyptic technocracy yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand it's so torturous and dreadful suffering in this existence, I also just wish for Nembutal, for me personally it'd be such a relief to just die so painlessly. But anyway best wishes.

 

[kinderbueno]

Music and series helped me these days during this waiting time to escape a little to my throughts.

I have no motivation to watch series. I have adhd too which means my brain loves procrastinating. I wish I had enough determination to tell my mind to shut up and let me focus on something so that I can forget about my pain

If it's too intolerable I'd suggest getting on meds atleast life would be somewhat manageable. I feel it's a temporary thing as it has its own issues.

DM me anytime if you want someone to talk to kinder ;)

Thank you so much for the offer I love talking to you in the chat rooms I'll definitely DM you :)
I'll try and see if I can get meds

There is point in living so long as your life can permit it. We're not in fully blown post-apocalyptic technocracy yet.

I can live but it's unbearable because my mind hates me. I've tried recovery before, I've had counselling before and it didn't help

I certainly understand it's so torturous and dreadful suffering in this existence, I also just wish for Nembutal, for me personally it'd be such a relief to just die so painlessly. But anyway best wishes.

Thank you for the kind words :)

 

[Abhorrence2]

Me too i can't cope with the fact that i'm ugly and mentally ill, and since looks are the only thing that matter in life i have no hope.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Same, there isn't much I can really do though, I just Sit in my dark room alone and listen to music, so that time passes by quicker, The date I set for my CTB can't get here any sooner.