Method I think I've decided how I'm going to go

[thatlatealready]

I'm going to buy propranolol from an online pharmacy/doctor, and take it in overdose in combination with alcohol. If I can get some opiates, I'll add those as well.

Then I'm going to take a nap on the train tracks near my house.

I'm hoping the combination of panic-stopping drugs will prevent me from freaking out and mean I am unconscious by the time the train hits. Doubling up doubles the chance of success, right?

Maybe. Who knows.

I kind of want to do it on the morning of the new year as I was born on a Monday and it feels right somehow, but I have two weeks of holiday abroad booked in mid January. I might as well hold on until after that is done. No point in wasting the money.

I have been procrastinating on booking anything apart from the plane tickets as I can't convince myself I'll still be here.

I got a reminder recently that I destroy everything I touch and am truly better off dead. I'm not even depressed anymore. I just don't want to be here.

I don't want to hold on. I want to be dead. I want to die.

Is my method likely to be effective?

(Yes I am aware I will traumatise the train driver. I am a sick freak, and I deserve to go to hell)

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can tell you opiates will do the job very well if you can get pure ones, maybe not propranolol alone. You can rad about ODs in the PPeH. I hope you fine peace.

 

[SVEN]

Leaving out the effect on others, I'd only have concerns that you move around once you pass out. Be terrible to lose a limb or two and survive.
The theory sounds good, however once we're unconcious everything else which happens is out our control.

 

[Kit1]

I'm going to buy propranolol from an online pharmacy/doctor, and take it in overdose in combination with alcohol. If I can get some opiates, I'll add those as well.

Then I'm going to take a nap on the train tracks near my house.

I'm hoping the combination of panic-stopping drugs will prevent me from freaking out and mean I am unconscious by the time the train hits. Doubling up doubles the chance of success, right?

Maybe. Who knows.

I kind of want to do it on the morning of the new year as I was born on a Monday and it feels right somehow, but I have two weeks of holiday abroad booked in mid January. I might as well hold on until after that is done. No point in wasting the money.

I have been procrastinating on booking anything apart from the plane tickets as I can't convince myself I'll still be here.

I got a reminder recently that I destroy everything I touch and am truly better off dead. I'm not even depressed anymore. I just don't want to be here.

I don't want to hold on. I want to be dead. I want to die.

Is my method likely to be effective?

(Yes I am aware I will traumatise the train driver. I am a sick freak, and I deserve to go to hell)

I am so sorry that life has come to this. All I want to say is that you are not "a sick freak" and you don't deserve to gonto hell. You are someone in a lot of pain and you are looking at ending that pain the way you feel is best. Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you understand that you are a human being worthy of being loved. Take care.