alixisbonez
Member
- Nov 15, 2025
- 31
Since last etempt I've had the persistent delusion and feeling that I am genuinely dead I know it's impossible but most times I cannot seem to convince myself that's it's not real right now I can say it's not real but I would be lieing if I said I believed that
Eating is hard now and hygiene is an issue I've been able to keep up with it thankfully because of the anxiety that I'm rotting and must keep myself clean to "preserve" my body I have been taking shots of vodka or vinager to help with preservation I sometimes sleep all day or don't sleep at all for days I feel I'm rotting and think I can feel the rot I know this is not good it's driven me to do reckless stuff becouse of the lack of care for my body as I think I'm dead therefor what I do doesn't matter and I need help but I can't get myself to seek it for now
I just keep telling myself I'm alive for now atleast we will see how long that lasts
Eating is hard now and hygiene is an issue I've been able to keep up with it thankfully because of the anxiety that I'm rotting and must keep myself clean to "preserve" my body I have been taking shots of vodka or vinager to help with preservation I sometimes sleep all day or don't sleep at all for days I feel I'm rotting and think I can feel the rot I know this is not good it's driven me to do reckless stuff becouse of the lack of care for my body as I think I'm dead therefor what I do doesn't matter and I need help but I can't get myself to seek it for now
I just keep telling myself I'm alive for now atleast we will see how long that lasts