There are no easy answers- most methods involve pain and risk and lots of planning to have a good chance. Only 1 in 23 attempts works in the u.s., if you do a rushed attempt it will likely not work Many peopel here struggle with the same issue, there is not an easy, painless way You just need to research methods and see what is most feasible for you- of course one key thing to do is to fully explore options for recovery- are there people who can help? It may be worth it to post your reasons for considering ctb to see if people have ideas to help. It is very difficult to follow hrough if you knwo in the back of your mind that there could be good options for recovery.