Venting I think I might be a pedo

[peerlesscucumber]

do you have problems inhibiting impulses generally?

like when I am shopping, I sometimes think "why do I work so hard and pay for things? I could just steal this shit!" and then I fantasize about putting a large can of pringles under my jacket and running out the store

i don't actually steal things. i just like the idea of it. I probably won't ever go to a store and steal chips and I will literally always fantasize about shop-lifting, like that will never stop. it also doesn't bother me. i think stealing is unethical, so i'm not going to steal chips unless it's a really bad situation (like i am hungry, out of work, and have no money and don't have any way to make money at all)

Are you someone that is good at controlling impulses? Like if you thought about stealing chips, would you likely at some point say "fuck it, I need those chips!" If you are at a bar or getting intoxicated, do you think "I probably shouldn't have 1 more, but fuck it!" Do you ever think "I need to eat healthier, but I'm going to buy a bag of candy and eat all of it!"

Are you someone who can't control your urges?

I don't think it's that I have a problem with impulse, I genuinely think I wouldn't every harm a child in any way.
But the mere thoughts that form in my mind are what disgust me.
No normal person even thinks about the things that appear in my mind, and that's what disgusts me.
It's not that I might act on my thoughts what scare me, it's that I'm scared that I'm a monster just because I have these thoughts

I can relate because I was scared of the fantasies of domination I had as a child and I have always thought of myself as someone who is protecting others from them.

I saw this movie when I was very concerned about the "being a monster" thing. Maybe it helps.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Woodsman_(film)

TYSM!!! I'll be sure to check it out as soon as I can