Venting I regret not killing myself.

[Anxieyote]

Things only got worse over time.

I lived to see my friends slowly disappear and fade away. I lived to have a 3rd visit to the psych ward. I lived to experience the hurt and pain of failed friendships and hard breakups. I lived to see housing costs increase so much I can no longer survive on my disability income alone.

I acquired SN twice and neglected to use it. Now I don't have another way of acquiring it, and I'm forced to consider more painful methods. I was a fool for not killing myself earlier when I had the chance. There is no worse feeling than the feeling of being trapped on this planet with no way out.

 

[Macedonian1987]

If you still have some old SN left and it was propely sealed, it should still be good. Just To be 100% sure, you can take some of it to a chemical lab and have it tested. It will probably be expensive, but if you are certain that you will be ctb that wouldnt matter.

 

[Anxieyote]

If you still have some old SN left and it was propely sealed, it should still be good. Just To be 100% sure, you can take some of it to a chemical lab and have it tested. It will probably be expensive, but if you are certain that you will be ctb that wouldnt matter.

The entire bag was thrown out by my family when they raided my apartment while I was in rehab.

 

[StoicPizza]

I regret missing my windows of opportunity as well. I try ligature strangulation with torniquette every night but can't get it right for some reason

 

[ForestGhost]

I'm sorry you're hurting this much. I really hate the cliche "it gets better". It's nothing more than survivorship bias from people who happened to get lucky, or a bullshit platitude from those who never suffered in the first place. The random walk of life can really trend in any fucking direction, eh? With the world being in the state that it's in, definitely feels like everyone's playing this prison planet game on hard mode at the moment, too.

I know we've never interacted but I've seen your name around... as a fellow furry-adjacent-thing with addiction issues maybe I see you as a kindred spirit in some ways. Nothing more than a small consolation from a stranger on the internet, I know, but I think you seem pretty cool and wish things could be better.

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Things only got worse over time.

after my closest failed attempt, it did

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Yes this must be absolutely horrible after one didn't commit suicde and then in front of his eyes everything gets worse and worse.
I also regret that I didn't kill myself in February this year because it all just got worse since then. There is no wonder or an angel that will appear and heal us , actually I should already be a corpse but sadly even though one has so many reasons to ctb its still extremely difficult to actually do it.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I regret being revived. I knew the hell would just continue. I told them. They were just unmoved. and more concerned with how they felt then me. Prolifers

 

[fkyou]

Same I regret it so soooo much I only caused myself tremendous suffering worst than the one that brought me to suicide in the first place..I was happy with my decision very okay but stupid me procrastinated and now I'm in sadness

 

[Irisse]

I keep lying to everyone in my life about how I regret almost jumping of a bridge, when I wish so badly that I did it. While I wouldn't have experienced a wonderful friendship with my irl friend, I also wouldn't have experienced new traumatic things. And the core of my being is such that the scale always tips to the negative. I agree a lot with the philosophy of the user @pthnrdnojvsc, as I believe that fleeting happiness isn't worth the worst trauma and pain.