Venting I regret not killing myself.

[Anxieyote]

Things only got worse over time.

I lived to see my friends slowly disappear and fade away. I lived to have a 3rd visit to the psych ward. I lived to experience the hurt and pain of failed friendships and hard breakups. I lived to see housing costs increase so much I can no longer survive on my disability income alone.

I acquired SN twice and neglected to use it. Now I don't have another way of acquiring it, and I'm forced to consider more painful methods. I was a fool for not killing myself earlier when I had the chance. There is no worse feeling than the feeling of being trapped on this planet with no way out.

 

[Macedonian1987]

If you still have some old SN left and it was propely sealed, it should still be good. Just To be 100% sure, you can take some of it to a chemical lab and have it tested. It will probably be expensive, but if you are certain that you will be ctb that wouldnt matter.

 

[Anxieyote]

If you still have some old SN left and it was propely sealed, it should still be good. Just To be 100% sure, you can take some of it to a chemical lab and have it tested. It will probably be expensive, but if you are certain that you will be ctb that wouldnt matter.

The entire bag was thrown out by my family when they raided my apartment while I was in rehab.

 

[StoicPizza]

I regret missing my windows of opportunity as well. I try ligature strangulation with torniquette every night but can't get it right for some reason

 

[ForestGhost]

I'm sorry you're hurting this much. I really hate the cliche "it gets better". It's nothing more than survivorship bias from people who happened to get lucky, or a bullshit platitude from those who never suffered in the first place. The random walk of life can really trend in any fucking direction, eh? With the world being in the state that it's in, definitely feels like everyone's playing this prison planet game on hard mode at the moment, too.

I know we've never interacted but I've seen your name around... as a fellow furry-adjacent-thing with addiction issues maybe I see you as a kindred spirit in some ways. Nothing more than a small consolation from a stranger on the internet, I know, but I think you seem pretty cool and wish things could be better.