Venting I really thought it was getting better

[areagarden]

So far, this year has been the worst of my life. Well about a week ago things started looking up. I could see a world where I stayed. And now I can't. Everything hurts so so badly. I feel so unloved and so disgusting. All I want to do is die. I'm not at my own place right now and I thought that would be enough to stop me but now all I want to do is go to the woods and hang myself there instead. Why couldn't it stay good. I don't think I have it in me to live any longer. I wish it never got better and I never had this stupid false hope I could live a happy life. I've been destined to misery from the beginning and I was a fool to ever think that happiness would stay. Now im just even worse off than before because I allowed myself to imagine a world where I was happy.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Aww, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I felt like I was gaslighting myself by somewhat believing my situation would improve. I know what you feel like. I don't know anything about your situation. But I really hope some twist of fate can occur and you can have a glimmer of hope again and make things better for yourself. Because you don't deserve to suffer so much and be led to suicide. God bless you and I am wishing the best for you.

 

[Captain laser]

i tried my best to fight for a future too, but after all i just wasnt meant to be, i know things come and go and thats just how life is, but i wish the things i love didnt keep abandoning me.

 

[Pure Vanilla]

Do you get any joy from talking to people? friends can make things feel not terrible while you talk to them (and then instantly you are reminded everything sucks when they get busy or go) if you can find them anyway