I need to leave NOW

[Jupit3rs]

I barely have time to think about killing myself, i wanted to make the plan perfect but at this point... is that even possible? I have my rope in front of me, the whole set up is just there, beckoning... i don't know if i can last more than a day. I put the rope in my neck to see if it could hold me, i still feel it there... what a strange sensation. Everything seems perfect, however, i don't know, i'm too afraid of failing. I'm so exhausted that maybe i can fuck everything up... honestly, who knows....
I wish i wasn't suffering this much, i really want to go home... I'm not worthy for this place, just a waste of space. Always a burden... being alive or dead... I'll be always a burden, such a paradox.

 

[FuneralGrey]

If you're still with us, I'd ask you to think about reconsidering. It sounds like you're feeling acutely stressed and overwhelmed. No plan will ever be "perfect," but when it comes to cutting off oxygen to your brain and risking permanent disability in case of failure, it's, in my opinion, important to be properly prepared and certain you'll get the result that you want.

I understand what it's like to feel like you can't give it even twelve more hours, or one more day. But one more day of life in exchange for avoiding a lifetime of being a vegetable is a deal I would take.

The choice is yours. You don't deserve this pain. If you choose to go through with it, I wish you well, and hope you find the peace you are after. If you want to talk, I'm around.

 

[Jupit3rs]

If you're still with us, I'd ask you to think about reconsidering. It sounds like you're feeling acutely stressed and overwhelmed. No plan will ever be "perfect," but when it comes to cutting off oxygen to your brain and risking permanent disability in case of failure, it's, in my opinion, important to be properly prepared and certain you'll get the result that you want.

I understand what it's like to feel like you can't give it even twelve more hours, or one more day. But one more day of life in exchange for avoiding a lifetime of being a vegetable is a deal I would take.

The choice is yours. You don't deserve this pain. If you choose to go through with it, I wish you well, and hope you find the peace you are after. If you want to talk, I'm around.

I'm still here, but yes, you are right. I'm not in the best headspace... i was actually planning to do this very careful, i had many things in mind for preparation, but life makes you want to quit so easily... i feel light headed, tired... I guess getting this out of my chest is working. But i really need to leave this month, I can't wait much longer, idk if my body can take much more... i feel stupid now

 

[FuneralGrey]

I'm still here, but yes, you are right. I'm not in the best headspace... i was actually planning to do this very careful, i had many things in mind for preparation, but life makes you want to quit so easily... i feel light headed, tired... I guess getting this out of my chest is working. But i really need to leave this month, I can't wait much longer, idk if my body can take much more... i feel stupid now

It's not stupid. You are in pain, and it makes sense to want to do whatever you can to end that pain – and you happen to know how you can achieve that. You deserve to find relief, and I hope you can find that in a safe and effective way. It sounds like you have a careful, well thought-out plan; that is excellent.

It can be so challenging to continue to survive when you have your exit planned, but it's better to do it once and do it right. I can hear how exhausted you are. You don't deserve to suffer any longer by going through an unsuccessful attempt.

 

[Outandproud]

Babe whats going on? This seems like an impulsive feeling like you are having a breakdown.. im a little drunk now just a little.. but ive been there, in despair, for daddy/family issues idk if thats your case but it can get better, you colud overcame that if you have the resorurses.. let me know.. we are here for you.. im willing to chat whatever you decide .. sending love from my bed

 

[SarRy]

It can be a nervous situation when someone isn't in a calm headspace. One should know what problems they face and what could be done to remedy the issues. Whether they can fix their issues or not should be thoroughly considered. It can be hard to be rational when emotions are high. This is also when mistakes are made. Take a break. Take a breath. Consider what you are doing.
With all that being said. I hope you find peace for yourself.

 

[Outandproud]

Do you have benzos or something to knok you out and just sleep?

 

[Jupit3rs]

Do you have benzos or something to knok you out and just sleep?

No, but i'll be fine.
I still have to study and do stuff, i guess that is making me more overwhelmed. But there's no other option...

It can be a nervous situation when someone isn't in a calm headspace. One should know what problems they face and what could be done to remedy the issues. Whether they can fix their issues or not should be thoroughly considered. It can be hard to be rational when emotions are high. This is also when mistakes are made. Take a break. Take a breath. Consider what you are doing.
With all that being said. I hope you find peace for yourself.

I know i want to die, that's not something i'm questioning... but yeah, i'll do it with proper time to think everything through, too tired to do it properly at the moment.

 

[Outandproud]

No, but i'll be fine.
I still have to study and do stuff, i guess that is making me more overwhelmed. But there's no other option...

I know i want to die, that's not something i'm questioning... but yeah, i'll do it with proper time to think everything through, too tired to do it properly at the moment.

Ok.. i respect that.. if theres not other option im deply sorry that life has get you to this conclusion and i hope you have a safe retourn to the stars you beatiful soul., where are here for you now and in the future. Your no alone. We could reach your same resolution any time., im just rolling the dice & see where it gets me

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm also afraid of failing ctb with hanging, of course I wish that it's easier to ctb that way. I envy those who have left this world. I understand feeling so tired of everything and I get that it's hard to carry on enduring this existence when all that you want is to be gone. I wish you freedom from suffering for when the time is right for you to leave.

 

[jussrav]

I'm still here, but yes, you are right. I'm not in the best headspace... i was actually planning to do this very careful, i had many things in mind for preparation, but life makes you want to quit so easily... i feel light headed, tired... I guess getting this out of my chest is working. But i really need to leave this month, I can't wait much longer, idk if my body can take much more... i feel stupid now

I can't take much more its hell.