i am on the end of college as one of the top of the class, i have a gf, i have a loving family (even if some were distant and abusive before), i even have pets, multiple close friends AND friendgroups, i am not left out but it's like It will never get better.
I am 19, I was diagnosed with mild depression at 14 and it feels like it really never went away (infact it got worse) and I don't think it ever will, between then and now I've tried to CTB at around 16 by OD on my meds, I had 0 problems the next morning.
and ever since i was diagnosed with autism at 17, it's been even worse mentally for me, at night I cry a lot and I don't think my mom hears me even if our room are next to each others, I cry because I don't think i'll ever grow out this state of mind and I just feel really depressed.
I am at a state right now where I don't talk to anyone, at family gatherings I don't say anything, when I go out I stay silent, when I am with my girlfriend I answer her witj short phrases and never talk first.
I just feel so pathetic knowing I have the things others envy but I can't find the joy of it, I doomscroll all day and barely find joy playing the video games I was once fond of.
I am turning 20 this year and I don't think I wanna see my 30s.
I am 19, I was diagnosed with mild depression at 14 and it feels like it really never went away (infact it got worse) and I don't think it ever will, between then and now I've tried to CTB at around 16 by OD on my meds, I had 0 problems the next morning.
and ever since i was diagnosed with autism at 17, it's been even worse mentally for me, at night I cry a lot and I don't think my mom hears me even if our room are next to each others, I cry because I don't think i'll ever grow out this state of mind and I just feel really depressed.
I am at a state right now where I don't talk to anyone, at family gatherings I don't say anything, when I go out I stay silent, when I am with my girlfriend I answer her witj short phrases and never talk first.
I just feel so pathetic knowing I have the things others envy but I can't find the joy of it, I doomscroll all day and barely find joy playing the video games I was once fond of.
I am turning 20 this year and I don't think I wanna see my 30s.
