Venting I hate the fact that I'm too ugly to be loved

[shadow_nova]

I want to be accepted , understood and loved for what I am . An ugly creature like me shouldn't wish for love but I want it . I want love where you love each other and accept everything about each other . To look into their eyes and see the world , to hold their hands and feel the warmth , to hear their voice and love their words . To kiss under the moonlight , to run through flower fields and to feel like we both are the only humans alive on this planet . Let today be Doomsday and I'll be ready to die in their arms . To see their soul and not their body , I want to feel it in my skin , I want to feel like I'm loved . A typa love that goes beyond love , it should consume me . It should be so passionate yet not obsessive , so possessive yet not toxic , so imperfect yet not abusive , so innate and emotional yet not manipulative , such a want but not a need . To be able to be yourself , to have someone accept you as you are , to have their smile breathe life into your rotten soul .
I know I'll never find anyone , I'll never ever be In a relationship because I'm too ugly but a part of me really wants to be loved . I'm seriously considering CTB due to my looks , even surgery won't fix my ugly face i feel . For a second I look atleast " human enough " in the mirror but when I step out and if anyone takes a picture or video of me especially from the back camera I look like a fucking melted monster from some another dimension like I just look so fucking horrible with my face melting from the sides . I feel so fucking depressed about life and my looks just make everything worse . Never been in a relationship , never got asked out , nobody ever had a crush on me and I'm so fucking jealous of people who actually are in relationships knowing that it'll never be me ):

 

[memoriesofyesterday]

I want to be accepted , understood and loved for what I am . An ugly creature like me shouldn't wish for love but I want it . I want love where you love each other and accept everything about each other . To look into their eyes and see the world , to hold their hands and feel the warmth , to hear their voice and love their words . To kiss under the moonlight , to run through flower fields and to feel like we both are the only humans alive on this planet . Let today be Doomsday and I'll be ready to die in their arms . To see their soul and not their body , I want to feel it in my skin , I want to feel like I'm loved . A typa love that goes beyond love , it should consume me . It should be so passionate yet not obsessive , so possessive yet not toxic , so imperfect yet not abusive , so innate and emotional yet not manipulative , such a want but not a need . To be able to be yourself , to have someone accept you as you are , to have their smile breathe life into your rotten soul .
I know I'll never find anyone , I'll never ever be In a relationship because I'm too ugly but a part of me really wants to be loved . I'm seriously considering CTB due to my looks , even surgery won't fix my ugly face i feel . For a second I look atleast " human enough " in the mirror but when I step out and if anyone takes a picture or video of me especially from the back camera I look like a fucking melted monster from some another dimension like I just look so fucking horrible with my face melting from the sides . I feel so fucking depressed about life and my looks just make everything worse . Never been in a relationship , never got asked out , nobody ever had a crush on me and I'm so fucking jealous of people who actually are in relationships knowing that it'll never be me ):

Why be jealous?

Relationships?

Relationships suck!

1. Child support payments
2 Attorneys/laws/judges/ etc..
3. Excessive drinking, jealousy, anger

You're the lucky one.

I don't get it.

I never understood the ideal of a "relationship".

Here's what we know:

You are accepted.
You are loved.
You are here.

Maybe the world is ugly and you're beautiful.

So let's flip the script :)

 

[escape_from_hell]

Here's what we know:

You are accepted.
You are loved.
You are here.

Some of us are not accepted or loved. Unfortunately, we are here.

 

[memoriesofyesterday]

Some of us are not accepted or loved. Unfortunately, we are here.

Oh no! You're unfortunately very correct,

So let's make it up to her..

Let's welcome Shadow escape_from_hell

 

[EvisceratedJester]

1. Child support payments
2 Attorneys/laws/judges/ etc..
3. Excessive drinking, jealousy, anger

1. Only applies if you decide to have children and then get a divorce

2. Likely wouldn't apply unless you get divorced and/or are dealing with cases of abuse. Otherwise, this shouldn't be that big of an issue.

3. Yeah, that's not an inherent aspect of relationships. Most relationships are not filled with excessive drinking and jealousy.


Anyway, @shadow_nova , you don't need a relationship to feel fulfilled. I understand that society likes to advertise this idea of "the one" and stuff, but a lot of people go into relationships and end up feeling just as miserable as they did before. In reality, romantic relationships are no more special than any other type of relationship. Even platonic love can burn brighter than romantic love. Romantic relationships can be beautiful, but in reality, they are typically pretty messy and require a lot of work to ensure that they workout. You are fantasizing about an ideal relationship that doesn't exist. Sometimes, we like to believe that the love of another will fix our problems but usually, our problems run much deeper than we realize. A relationship doesn't fix anything and it can even end up adding more stress to your life, causing your issues to worsen. At best, your partner can provide you with more support but that role could be filled by virtually anyone.

Also, I'm sorry that your appearance has caused you so much distress in life. I kind of get it, as I also hate my appearance and have throughout most of my life. I've found myself wanting to cry from just at my face and body in the mirror and my appearance definitely plays a role in my suicidality. You don't deserve to feel lesser than because of your appearance.

 

[memoriesofyesterday]

I want to be accepted , understood and loved for what I am . An ugly creature like me shouldn't wish for love but I want it . I want love where you love each other and accept everything about each other . To look into their eyes and see the world , to hold their hands and feel the warmth , to hear their voice and love their words . To kiss under the moonlight , to run through flower fields and to feel like we both are the only humans alive on this planet . Let today be Doomsday and I'll be ready to die in their arms . To see their soul and not their body , I want to feel it in my skin , I want to feel like I'm loved . A typa love that goes beyond love , it should consume me . It should be so passionate yet not obsessive , so possessive yet not toxic , so imperfect yet not abusive , so innate and emotional yet not manipulative , such a want but not a need . To be able to be yourself , to have someone accept you as you are , to have their smile breathe life into your rotten soul .
I know I'll never find anyone , I'll never ever be In a relationship because I'm too ugly but a part of me really wants to be loved . I'm seriously considering CTB due to my looks , even surgery won't fix my ugly face i feel . For a second I look atleast " human enough " in the mirror but when I step out and if anyone takes a picture or video of me especially from the back camera I look like a fucking melted monster from some another dimension like I just look so fucking horrible with my face melting from the sides . I feel so fucking depressed about life and my looks just make everything worse . Never been in a relationship , never got asked out , nobody ever had a crush on me and I'm so fucking jealous of people who actually are in relationships knowing that it'll never be me ):

We all accept you.

 

[sevennn]

i understand. idk why this type of pain is the one to be dismissed even here. it hurt really badly for a while. i cried. now i have another thing demanding my attention and everything else pales in comparison. but i understand your pain. i will die without ever having any romance in my life. thought it was essential. that i just will. but i won't. i wont ever have anyone kiss me. not ever now. it would hurt if i could feel it, but tinnitus overshadows everything. it's a deep ache. i understand

 

[uglyugly]

I can relate, I've been ugly my entire life. No amount of plastic surgery is going to fix my nasty face. BUT, stick with me here....

Ugliness is defined by society. They throw photos of gorgeous, thin, perfectly groomed people at us every day. No acne, no scars, no premature gray or thinning hair, etc. Virtually no one looks like that in real life and if they do, they destroy their own bodies to get that way. Airbrushing is a real thing. The point is that someone is trying to sell you on what beauty is or is not. Don't buy it. So society can look at me all day and say I'm disgusting, and so what? That's their opinion, not fact. I would not buy into the bullshit that you are ugly - don't ever let any one convince you of that. It simply is not true. Beauty lies in the personality, empathy, kindness and depth of a person, not in their appearance. I can tell you are not ugly just by your writing. I accept you as you are and I bet everyone else here does, too.

Relationships are a lot - and I do mean a lot - of work. They are not easy. I don't want one. Being free to do what you want with your life is worth it, and no one in a relationship is ever completely free. Not to say they are all bad, but freedom to live a life on your own terms is priceless.

 

[memoriesofyesterday]

There you have it Shadow..

You're not so ugly after all :)

Everyone here seems to love you.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

OP, believe or not everyone can find someone, might be difficult but not impossible. About your appearance, there are 2 options: either you accept yourself or you do something about it. Just because you don't fit the society standards of beauty doesn't mean you are ugly. If you want to change yourself, go ahead, but do it for yourself and not for others. Makeup, skincare, hair care, clothes, accessories... all this can make a big difference in your appearance, without need of plastic surgery. And in case you really want do a plastic surgery, it can do miracles.

I just remembered one thing: not everyone care about looks. May look like a lie but there are people like that in the word.

I know it seems impossible, but I believe in you <3

Ofc, you can ignore my post if you didn't like, by no means I'm trying to simplify or negate your suffering.

Best wishes

 

[shadow_nova]

Why be jealous?

Relationships?

Relationships suck!

1. Child support payments
2 Attorneys/laws/judges/ etc..
3. Excessive drinking, jealousy, anger

You're the lucky one.

I don't get it.

I never understood the ideal of a "relationship".

Here's what we know:

You are accepted.
You are loved.
You are here.

Maybe the world is ugly and you're beautiful.

So let's flip the script :)

I get you but unfortunately my own parents never loved me , I try my best to think positive but I don't have any friends and I barely interact with anyone because I'm an anxious mess and it gets really lonely sometimes

I can relate, I've been ugly my entire life. No amount of plastic surgery is going to fix my nasty face. BUT, stick with me here....

Ugliness is defined by society. They throw photos of gorgeous, thin, perfectly groomed people at us every day. No acne, no scars, no premature gray or thinning hair, etc. Virtually no one looks like that in real life and if they do, they destroy their own bodies to get that way. Airbrushing is a real thing. The point is that someone is trying to sell you on what beauty is or is not. Don't buy it. So society can look at me all day and say I'm disgusting, and so what? That's their opinion, not fact. I would not buy into the bullshit that you are ugly - don't ever let any one convince you of that. It simply is not true. Beauty lies in the personality, empathy, kindness and depth of a person, not in their appearance. I can tell you are not ugly just by your writing. I accept you as you are and I bet everyone else here does, too.

Relationships are a lot - and I do mean a lot - of work. They are not easy. I don't want one. Being free to do what you want with your life is worth it, and no one in a relationship is ever completely free. Not to say they are all bad, but freedom to live a life on your own terms is priceless.

Thanks a lot (:

 

[steppenwolf]

It's not about looks; you're not missing out on anything that can't be bought if you want it badly enough. I looked like a film star when I was younger, didn't do me any good. All my looks got me was a free trip around Europe giving handjobs, and a stint on this one porno which was like stuffing a chicken.

And looks aren't forever even if you have them. I'm 50 now and have never been in a 'relationship'. My hair's gone, my face is melting and the decades of heavy smoking and drinking and recreational drug use are catching up with me. I've known your world well enough for a while now, and I know it's not going to get any better. Just make yourself at home with it, and if anyone has a problem with how you look, well that's their problem.

 

[coffeebeany]

I get you but unfortunately my own parents never loved me , I try my best to think positive but I don't have any friends and I barely interact with anyone because I'm an anxious mess and it gets really lonely sometimes

I feel you. And I m so sorry. You got taught that you were unlovable and unlikeble. And this became your reality and truth. I have a similar experience and I get anxiety around people. Everything feels unsafe. I know that it does not make any difference in real life because the consequences are the same. But your parents never loved themselves. It was never about you. You are easy to love and easy to like and so it should have been. But your parents probably projected their own lack of self-love and self-worth onto you. A child doesn't know the difference.

 

[shadow_nova]

I feel you. And I m so sorry. You got taught that you were unlovable and unlikeble. And this became your reality and truth. I have a similar experience and I get anxiety around people. Everything feels unsafe. I know that it does not make any difference in real life because the consequences are the same. But your parents never loved themselves. It was never about you. You are easy to love and easy to like and so it should have been. But your parents probably projected their own lack of self-love and self-worth onto you. A child doesn't know the difference.

Thank you (: