Venting I hate christmas

[chudeatte]

ive never not hated it. every year I dread the day and I just stay in my room away from everyone. even though my mother gets me gifts, I never go down to open them when everyone else does. I just dont care. I dont even open them in front of others because I cant fake being happy for any of it, I cant be expected to perform for her and then have her get mad at me when I dont seem grateful. it makes my mood so much worse. it's not that im ungrateful but idk how I feel. when I see these things that are bought for me I feel so terrible inside, like why would you all get these things for me when its not worth it. im going to kill myself anyway, please just save your money and use it towards yourself or something. its such a waste in my eyes I feel so bad. like ill look around my room and see all the things that I own or they've gotten me and I feel so bad they've put their money towards these things that im just going to leave behind. every year I stay in my room and I spend the day crying in bed, feeling more depressed than ever before wishing I was dead. its the same with my birthday too which is only a month after. I just feel terrible. the new year coming up doesnt help either. it feels like a deadline because with each day im coming closer to that decision ill have to make where ill finally die. it just all sucks. I think im going to spend the day drinking alone in my room even if drinking makes me worse. I dont care anymore

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel this too. Xmas gives me stress because there is too much lights, it's cole outside, I'm very tired in winter and I don't like gifts. I loved Xmas when I was a kid but I was a kid and I was just waiting for my Lego and other gifts... Now it's too much about money and the real sense of Xmas is gone. I think it will be my last Xmas so I'll say goodbye to everyone and it's heartbreaking but I cannot handle it anymore.
You're definitively not alone. Good luck to all of us who don't like Xmas.

 

[Ligottian]

Speaking for myself...When you are 65 and all alone, Christmas is just another day.

 

[chudeatte]

Speaking for myself...When you are 65 and all alone, Christmas is just another day.

yeah its starting to feel that way for me too, but im 19 and I have younger siblings so its still very much a thing in my house. I wish it could just be another day for me. in a way it is, at least in my mind. but theres an obligation to participate I feel because of my family which I cant really ignore. if I was alone I wouldn't feel so bad about the day, but oh well

 

[si4]

ive never not hated it. every year I dread the day and I just stay in my room away from everyone. even though my mother gets me gifts, I never go down to open them when everyone else does. I just dont care. I dont even open them in front of others because I cant fake being happy for any of it, I cant be expected to perform for her and then have her get mad at me when I dont seem grateful. it makes my mood so much worse. it's not that im ungrateful but idk how I feel. when I see these things that are bought for me I feel so terrible inside, like why would you all get these things for me when its not worth it. im going to kill myself anyway, please just save your money and use it towards yourself or something. its such a waste in my eyes I feel so bad. like ill look around my room and see all the things that I own or they've gotten me and I feel so bad they've put their money towards these things that im just going to leave behind. every year I stay in my room and I spend the day crying in bed, feeling more depressed than ever before wishing I was dead. its the same with my birthday too which is only a month after. I just feel terrible. the new year coming up doesnt help either. it feels like a deadline because with each day im coming closer to that decision ill have to make where ill finally die. it just all sucks. I think im going to spend the day drinking alone in my room even if drinking makes me worse. I dont care anymore

i feel similarly. it doesn't even feel like christmas tbh, i keep wanting to ctb impulsively this whole damn month but i have to wait till after christmas or im a selfish pos for traumatizing everyone right before christmas :/ this time of year is so hard

 

[Pluto]

 

[monetpompo]

i've been grinching out, you're not alone. my parsnts don't celebrate christmas but i always feel like i'm missing out and like i'm the only person that seems to actively hate the holiday. i get irritated listening to christmas music and seeing all the lights when i go outside because it all feels pointless to me. but i keep on wanting to be included even though i have no place in the holiday. i just want to be a normal person with friends and family that i can celebrate it with. it's hard to not feel like i'm fucked up for being unhappy.

 

[Morte]

Christmas is the only holiday of the year that I really like. because I had good memories at that time in my childhood. I also like how the city is lit up. But one thing is true, every year thats passing, i care less about it.