Venting I guess my issue has resolved itself

[Kodokushi]

Had yet another dumb insomniac night right before terrible working shifts only to wake up to yet another fight and a break up

I don't think I processed it well? Perhaps I'm way too exhausted or something, it just felt as if it wasn't really happening to me, it was just happening and I was there like...an object? Physically it gave me hell with acid vomiting after I arrived at work and actually sat down and stuff, but I still feel empty mentally

On the other hand the issue with having a loved one resolved ifself and I don't have to worry about how he'll react knowing I ended myself, so...there's that

I have to keep a stupid smiley attitude/face at work right now, plus friends need support (cause of course they do, far more important than me, please forgive my bitterness), so apologies for random venting. I just feel like absolute shit right now stuck like this

 

[SVEN]

I guess that dreamlike, is this really happening feeling is classic clinical depression. So sorry it's all happening at once.

 

[Young.Werther]

Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes things just feel very abstract, like they're happening to another person and not me. Also random venting is really nice, no need to apologize! Venting makes things marginally better (maybe only very marginally but still).

 

[Kodokushi]

A little update, I guess? NOW he suddenly realized I'm suicidal and bombarded me with messages to stay alive, contact my doctor and get help, if not for me - then for his sake. Keep living, life is beautiful, etc etc etc...

Another day in the circus

 

[Jezzibell]

Sending virtual strength and support. Xx