Venting I fucked up again

[ixkitty]

Someone asked, I told. I was honest. I hate it here. They wanted me to have a purpose. The only reason I'm here is because I've failed so much. I fail at living. I fail at dying.. I fail ... now here I am. Preparing to die. Again. And I know I'm gonna fuck up so why should I try ...

I hate it here

 

[mrtime87]

Someone asked, I told. I was honest. I hate it here. They wanted me to have a purpose. The only reason I'm here is because I've failed so much. I fail at living. I fail at dying.. I fail ... now here I am. Preparing to die. Again. And I know I'm gonna fuck up so why should I try ...

I hate it here

So do I, but is there anything worth living for?

I ask because I've tried so many times and am giving up. I have 3 months until I'm forced outside and want to hear someone say they have something to live for.

If you do CTB, how do you plan on doing so?

I ask because I live in Ohio where we don't have physician assisted suicide. I want to ask a doctor for help but can't because they'll place me in a mental hospital. It's frustrating because there are methods of ending a life, but even if Ohio offered a right to die, I wouldn't qualify.

 

[ixkitty]

So I've tried to live for everyone else's sake: My cat, a new anime episode, that one kid that said they'd "see me tomorrow". I still have some SN from my last attempt. I will probably do that one again. Alabama doesn't have Assisted Suicide either.

Mental health tends to not qualify for anything everywhere but Switzerland and maybe Canada (recently??) . I've never really traveled before or else I'd take my happy ass to Switzerland and just stay there till I'm cleared. I've tried to contact other states in the Past but they didn't accept me.