i feel like im not depressed enough for this

[soaringskies]

ive tried ending it twice. the only reasonable one was 6 months ago. context, i live at my parents house. in my culture you dont really move out until marriage. i tried drowning in my bathtub. i had it filled, writing notes. my friend textedme. i responded and by the time i was about to try again, my mom yelled at me to get out of the tub. i feel so stupid. if i actually was suicidal i wouldve done it properly. i dont have a proper reason to be depressed compared ot some of my other friends, i have it way better than them. i dont even know. anyone else feel the same? ive been lurking on this site for ages. i feel like i have an intent at least. but i havent properly tried and i feel stupid

 

[bl33ding_heart]

There's no "proper reasoning" to be depressed. Every individual person has a different life and different experiences. You have your own reasons for your depression and they are valid. And your attempt still counts as an attempt even if you feel like you could have done a better job, because you still made an attempt to end your suffering. Don't be so harsh on yourself, you don't have to be a certain way for your feelings and your depression to be valid. You are a suffering person like the rest of us, and that automatically makes you valid in your struggles.

 

[omenalready]

there is not something as a good or a bad depressive / suicidal person i think, it's not a competition. The fact that you're here isn't proof that you weren't serious. It means something interrupted it. That's not stupidity, that's just what happened.

Also, your pain doesn't become smaller because someone else's is big. You can have a roof over your head and still be genuinely drowning.