Venting I feel like I need to die because of something I did (no I didn’t commit a crime)

[Strawberry_Clouds]

I feel awful right now. I told my mom I would do something to help myself in college but I've been so depressed that I've barley been able to get anything done and the deadline already passed. This cost about 600 usd and it's all for nothing. I feel so awful for lying to her the entire time that I was ok and that I was doing well because I wanted to live up to her expectations of me and my expectations of myself. I feel like this is a signifier that I don't deserve to live, and that I'm not meant to live. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sence, I'm really stressed out right now.

 

[AceVendetta7500]

I understand why you feel the way you do. But your impulse to lie was ultimately born out of a desire to protect your loved ones. This is because you are a caring person. You do not deserve to die over this. Learn from it. In the future, reach out for help as soon as possible. Your mother will forgive you.