Discussion I don't want to die, not really.

[Yellow_Water620]

I don't want to die. I have hopes and dreams. I fell in love with drawing. It's the only thing I'm relatively good at. I wanted to see it through. I wanted to make amazing stories and share them with the world. But now they'll die with me. I feel as though I'm being forced to kill myself because I'm in such a vulnerable spot right now, with no support. No, no, it's me I won't blame anyone else.

How do I go on? I'm not suicidal, far from it. But I don't want to suffer. I really don't. The people I love wish me suffering. I have people who care for me, I do. But my life is so objectively awful I can't possibly tell them about it. I'm not strong enough. The people I have told can't do a thing, they're barely holding on themselves. I don't want to die, not really. But if things don't get better. If I have to endure this. This isn't worth it. I'll fight, though. Believe me I'll fight. I don't want my story to end in such a way.

I want to prepare my ctb method. Can someone help me? What is the most peaceful way? SN seems to be the most promising. I believe I have found DMC. Anyone willing to confirm?

 

[divinemistress87]

Hey if you dont really want to die then its ok to reach out for help such as therapy and or medication

 

[Yellow_Water620]

Yes, I plan to exhaust every resource I have at my disposal. I'm acutely aware of how impulsive I can be. I'm just anxious I won't be able to die in a peaceful way if things become too unbearable. It was hard enough to find and there are folks actively working to expunge it.

 

[nothinghereforme]

I have almost no natural positive feelings besides from drugs anymore thanks to chronic pain. It helps me to think about all that I could have that I never will now because of it and how much better everyone around me has it. How I'm permanently excluded now. It helps me get even worse faster. My only problem now is not having enough alone time and anything fast enough