Venting I don't wanna hurt them

[AnonymousL]

I know they're gonna be okay eventually..
but I just can't stop thinking about the people I love and that love me back.
Im gonna hurt them a lot by doing this.

I know I'm gonna be able to let it go at some point.
I have been there before.

Staying alive just to not hurt people won't be enough. But for now I'm holding on to that..

It pains me, I feel so guilty.

 

[Big_Eal]

thats the mean reason i still alive , my family. But i will have to do it in some point , I got out of my friends live

 

[getoutgirl]

It's a reason to stay alive, but not a reason to live. You merely survive through guilt as it slowly kills you. People love you and you love and care for them back, that just shows you are a kind and empathetic person. Ideally, we should be glad for that, but for us it sometimes just adds to the pain.
I personally fear often the moment when through pain I lose all empathy, when the impulse can shut my love for others, yet in my darkest moments that is all I wish for. It's the one thing tying me up here. And it's such a cruel trade. We want to leave, the pain to end, but we don't want to hurt them. But they seem incompatible. And they are. So it traps us. Of course, the third way out is to actually enjoy and live life, not escape it through death while hurting our loved ones, nor stay due to them in a state of asphyxiating survival for as long as you can endure. But that third way out is so much harder than the two. And I can't ask that of anyone since most of us can barely scrap the minimal energy most days. I just wish some of us can make it there. It is a posibility. I also wish that for you. In any way, all the best <3