Discussion I don't see the point in talking about it anymore

[ElTopo]

The title pretty much explains it, lately I've found myself in the situation of trying to put into words the way I'm feeling, my story and my conclusions about ending it all and in trying to do so I kind of realized there's no point in making myself known to others, even if I crave some deeper connection with others I think I'm way past the point of hoping to be helped or to find someone who will care enough. I realize there's a part of my unconscious that wants to transmit the memory of my experience to someone else before disappearing but another part of me has just caved in and wants to leave quietly. Plus it's very painful to put it all into words once again, I don't think I'll ever be able to do it. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[depressedinsomniac]

sort of....right now i try to find bucket list stuff pretty much...old shows to binge watch...eating different favorite foods....sort of like a farewell tour...i am debating doing a goodbye thread...part of me wants to do one just to describe how sn feels. But plenty have posted stuff like that. It's been done. What can i say it's a hell realm. i am pretty bitter it's come to this. But yes why whine to others yes yes. We all feel a need to i suppose. It's a dark place when one has suicidal ideation.

 

[melonrazor]

yeah. it gets repetitive plus no one really cares that much

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Yup. No one cares and neither do I. It doesn't matter. I do realize the irony of coming here to say that.

 

[imOK]

I can relate, I have to write my goodbyes and feel it's important for the few people I leave behind so they don't feel like they could've changed anything but man... I just don't know what to write. I'm not in this dramatic, depressed mood I was in my early 20s. That was over twenty years ago when I had a lot more life left in me. Now I'm just tired of it all. There's simply not much more to say beyond that.

 

[Hollowman]

Yeah I feel the same way. No one's ever understood my problem. I'm so done there's pretty much no point in talking about anything.

 

[failureofahuman]

I get you specifically when you mention wanting to transmit the memories of your experience to someone else before you're gone. I get these urges to tell acquaintances and strangers everything about me and my plans, only to tell them not to stop me at the end. I haven't ever really done it, as obviously they would try to tell someone, but I wish I could. I just want to talk without any sort of judgement or advice. I want to just look into someone's eyes and see their face as they listen to what I have to say. I want to be remembered as a good, interesting person. I want that person to have that intimate glimpse into me, without any sort of long-lasting connection. Just something they can look back on in years and form their own conclusions on.