Venting I don't see any purpose in life besides consumption of media.

[Motoko]

Just a small vent from me.

I don't see any purpose in my life, besides the consumption of media. By media I mean: books, movies, music and older games.
I haven't consumed any of these in a long time and without them I feel emptiness which I cannot fill with anything else.
I'm considering getting back to consuming all that stuff. The main reason of that would be to just spend time on distracting myself from the death which will come naturally sooner or later anyway.
It may sound stupid, but when I'm thinking about consuming that stuff I already feel regrets and it really makes me nervous for some reason. I feel like I should do something else, but I don't know what. I feel that if I spend time on consuming media, then some kind of punishment will come to me! Even by reading classical novels from 20th century, I feel like I would be disappointing either myself, or someone who I even don't know.

The realization that consuming this stuff would make me feel better for a moment, paradoxically makes me feel worse.

 

[Draconian Alone]

Ugh yeah, you're right. Whenever I try to dope myself up with a show or a piece of junk food it always makes me feel bad. I mean, I usually do it to feel like a normie just for a second… then gets hit with the realization it won't work.

 

[Labyrinth]

Your post is very important, I even saved it to the memorable list. The punishment of consuming too much media is not mere guesswork, but your intuition warning you. I've already received this punishment: of never being or doing who I should be -- who I would like. The world changed but I didn't change with it, time passed and I did nothing. Everything that was bad got worse, and what could have been avoided was not.You will hate yourself for being who you are, you will hate yourself even more for having stopped being who you were, and you would love to be who you were again -- but you are not anymore.

Please have the wisdom I didn't have and don't let this happen.

 

[Username1359751]

"20th century" novels have become "classical"? Omg...