I dont have the extreme amount of self love needed to be "successful" in modern society

[darkcirclesunder]

And this makes me want to ctb. I really despise my self, and my life is proof of it. Unfortunately in modern society you need deep amounts of self love to get by, you really have to lnow your worth and you have to really go for things. If you dont have very high self esteem in modern society you will end up either become a NEET, gain depressive anhedonia, and probably end up CTB eventually. Modern society only selects for people who have the egos of ghengis khan, jennifer lopez, or some ancient pharo or roman greek elite type person. No one loves me, no one cares about me, and it doesnt matter anymore. I want off this shitty rock. Fuck chimps, fuck humans.

 

[Un-]

I'm not sure what chimpanzees have to do with it, but I know how you feel. I struggle to imagine how it's like to love myself. I can't understand people that think they're worth something. I don't understand how they think their opinions matter; that what they do matters. I don't know how they can look at the mistakes they made, and be able to forgive themselves.

There has never been a point in time where I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt proud of what I saw. But for most people, this is the ordinary.

It's horrible. It's like suicidal thoughts.. People who don't have it can't understand. You can't explain it. So you're more than likely stuck with it forever. Sigh..

 

[Pluto]

Most people take for granted a reasonably healthy sense of self due to a normal childhood. Constant scapegoating, bullying, mockery, etc. has a way of dismantling that sense of self. It's easy for people to make a throwaway comment 'you just need to love yourself' but I don't think this will work for many people.

This so-called self-love affects every single interaction, every moment of every relationship, every choice made. When it is taken from us, the result is a dark cloud constantly over us, with no apparent solution in sight.

 

[conflagration]

Self love can be trained. I have been practicing loving kindness meditation towards myself for last year and it's much better in this department than it used to be. Still I have long way to go.

 

[lionetta12]

And this makes me want to ctb. I really despise my self, and my life is proof of it. Unfortunately in modern society you need deep amounts of self love to get by, you really have to lnow your worth and you have to really go for things. If you dont have very high self esteem in modern society you will end up either become a NEET, gain depressive anhedonia, and probably end up CTB eventually. Modern society only selects for people who have the egos of ghengis khan, jennifer lopez, or some ancient pharo or roman greek elite type person. No one loves me, no one cares about me, and it doesnt matter anymore. I want off this shitty rock. Fuck chimps, fuck humans.

I feel like it is pretty impossible for me to truly love myself when I have only been truly loved maybe once in my life for a very brief period. With all the amount of abuse, shamming, negative comments and hurt that I experienced and still experience from people that «love me», I really don't see how I will ever love myself.

 

[makebelieve]

In order to really love yourself, you must be loved by others. You can't just make up a feeling of validation out of thin air.

 

[lemonhoney]

Agree, it takes a lot of ego to be successful.

There are givers and takers, and a lot of the successful people are "takers". You have to have the strength to take things without feeling bad or indebted, you have to have the strength to brush off your own mistakes, and take opportunities like you deserve them.

These seem simple but for people who have low self esteem, imposter syndrome, and generally hate themselves, these are near impossible to accomplish.

If I could just love myself more, then some things wouldn't bother me. But I usually end up loving other people more than myself.