I can't feel anything

[un.exist]

I cant feel anything. Not even despair, so I just seem normal on the outside, and the inside is like an absence of emptiness. Even if I try to remember hurtful memorises, no emotions rake in, and I can't think about the memories deeply, its like they happened long ago or like some dream. I should feel sad but it seems ive lost the ability to drown in despair. That's why I started to cut, to prove to myself that the pain is still there. It works, but only in the moment. So i just exist everyday with the inability to feel anything, the desire to do nothing and the unwillingness to think about even the nearest future. Like a lazy wuss.

 

[ben_]

hi fellow lazy wuss...

someone told me it's fairly common... it still seems absurd to me tho.. it's like living in film noir.

 

[WannaDisappear_]

Hi there. I really relate to not feeling anything much. feeling depersonalization and out of touch with reality. like im stuck in my body. not able to think things for straight or deep enough

someone told me it's fairly common...

who said? is it really common?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I have periods of my life where I feel like this and it honestly feels so horrible. I try to intentionally hurt and trigger myself just to feel something, because the feeling of emptiness is just so unbearable. I haven't tried myself, but it's possible antidepressants could be of help.

 

[ben_]

who said? is it really common?

A friend of mine who works with psychiatric patients told me they'll often say that they seem to not have emotions. We haven't talked about this in detail so I'm not sure if this is exactly that. But myself I can totally relate to what OP describes.

Perhaps the most absurd thing is that even if I cry (which is rare), I don't feel any emotion. It's like it's just a reaction of my body to something, but my consciousness seems disconnected from the emotion. Before, I'd never think it's possible to cry without feeling sadness. But apparently, it is possible.

I haven't tried myself, but it's possible antidepressants could be of help.

From what I read years ago, I'd expect antidepressants to have the opposite effect. But for me, it doesn't seem they have changed anything. I'm on a fairly low dose though.

 

[violetforever]

im experiencing the same thing. something happened that should result in me uncontrollably crying and self harming but its like my brain is blocking that from happening because it would be too intense. instead im just frigidly going through each day since then. i know what happened destroys me but i just cant feel any of that pain. maybe im in a state of shock? i wish i had any idea of how and where im going to ctb in my new living situation right now. it would kind of be the perfect time to do it since im so robotic and indifferent to everything right now.

 

[zombieloser]

I feel the same way sometimes. Life feels very monotonous, leaving me to feel numb to everything. I used to self harm for the same reasons but stopped because it didn't do anything to stop the emptiness.

 

[endboss]

I cant feel anything. Not even despair, so I just seem normal on the outside, and the inside is like an absence of emptiness. Even if I try to remember hurtful memorises, no emotions rake in, and I can't think about the memories deeply, its like they happened long ago or like some dream. I should feel sad but it seems ive lost the ability to drown in despair. That's why I started to cut, to prove to myself that the pain is still there. It works, but only in the moment. So i just exist everyday with the inability to feel anything, the desire to do nothing and the unwillingness to think about even the nearest future. Like a lazy wuss.

I have it, too, for longer episodes. I think it's maybe symptom of ptsd and a protection mechanism after experiencing trauma.