Discussion I cannot wait to cbt.

[TemporaryJob]

I cannot describe how much i want to ctb, it feels like my whole life i've just been waiting to die. I spent so long trying to justify living and continuing but i just want to die already. Even when i'm happy and content i still want to die. it's not even a negative thing it's just like the next thing i need to do. it's like taking a nap after a long day, i have to do it eventually. Does anyone feel like this?

 

[saddestbunny]

it feels like a job I have to do I know I'm procrastinating on, I feel u

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I've always wished to not-exist, it's the only relief for me and escape from all suffering, I certainly feel like I'm just waiting around for death. I know that I could never wish to exist here no matter what, only non-existence appeals to me, your feelings really are understandable.

 

[Hollowman]

I've felt like that every day for years.

 

[CrestfallenMima]

Same, I can't wait to get this weight off my shoulders and finally be free

 

[ANTALWOODA]

I can relate, whenever i feel like i am OK and want to do stuff that brings me joy, suddenly afterwards i feel like i am tricking myself believing that this is okay, i was suicidal for long time, for over 10 years i felt need to die on daily basis, it's like my final destination that i won't let it get away, i wanna have control to take my life, still i am afraid at times at failing or inflicting suffering on others, i have this urge to kill myself thats very trong today, i wish i had easy way but every way i know will likely amount suffer, life is worst thing that happened to me

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can relate to it most of the time and every evening I wish for a peaceful and eternal sleep. But I'm not lucky enough and CTB manually is inevitable. I hope you can find peace!

 

[Busridin'26]

It no longer feels like an if but a "when" im def procrastinating on it though.

 

[suicidalloser]

me too, but the wait is agonizing so i'd rather just be killed at this point. i'm actively trying to anger my abuser because i want to die

 

[dandan]

Me too, BUt it's so damm hard, even with N in the fridge, f@ck!! I'm too fucked up

 

[Dar3B3ar]

same, feels like an inevitability